To Get to Where you Want to be "Tomorrow," You Need to be Here NOW

The "soul:" the energy within that influences us through feeling...has a plan all of its own, and for the majority of the time this plan is outside of our conscious awareness. If our soul plan was always in conscious awareness we would not truly be learning from our experience...for we must create our lives, or at least live under this illusion in order to experientially experience our lives. Yet in this "soul energy" lies the foundations as too how the universe wants to "direct" us so that we may evolve into oneness...Into wholeness and integration with the universe, with God...But this soul journey requires our cooperation if we want it to go smoothly. For it is our choice to proceed with the calling in our soul. In this choice lies our ability to live from the mind or to live from the place of soul energy.

To choose to understand oneself essentially means that one needs to separate themselves from the illusions of tomorrow (of which is another socially designed mental concept that deters our awareness from the now) and realize that there is only NOW. Living for the "ideals of tomorrow" keeps our awareness within the mind and away from the splendor of the "what is" that is all around you. How are we to witness the callings from the universe if we are all tied up within the parameters of the mind?

It is perfectly OK to picture what we want to grow towards, but we must drop the expectations involved with the attainment of what we picture for ourselves. If we obsess, hold onto, or work frustratingly hard to get to this place of self-attainment we loose sight of the process and hence stop experiencing experientially. How are we to listen to the "feelings" of the universe that filter through our soul: the experiential being of the self, if we are tied to the processes of the mind? We can get "trapped" and slow the process of self-evolution by living solely within the world of mentalization. For in the realm of mentalization we are constantly judging and criticizing ourselves because we have not reached the illusion of our own unique sense of perfection. When we are living solely from the mind we hoard our psychic energy into the mental realm, when essentially our psychic energy should be balanced equally between the mind-body-and spirit. To "be here now" means we must let experience happen first. It means we need to experience before we think because we do not want mentalization (an accumulation of the past) to paint the picture of our experience now.

To even try to know anything we must first let go of what we think about our observations first. If we think we "know," we are only understanding from our past formulations. The present is forever a new experience. That is why it is called the present...for it is a gift for us to relate to and thus experience who we truly are. And that is nothing more than the feeling within the self that is uninfluenced by thought.

Words cannot adequately explain the phenomena of the now, but experience outside the confines of thought can bring us closer to sensing the "now." Of course we can say that there is a past, present, and future...I was born in 1984, I live here now in 2011, and my physical body will perish at some future date...yet what we understand when we become immersed in the NOW is that all there ever existed and all that will exist, exists NOW in this very moment. "Moments" along the illusion of time cannot be separated (only thoughts create the divisions we sense in life - the mind has more perceptive power than we give it credit). The immersion into the NOW is a state of being which the majority of us will only taste for brief intervals, yet even in tasting it do we begin to see the illusions of our drama and in this become free from the pain of duality. Yet it is my firm belief that as we move closer into 2012 and beyond do we have more of these experiences (read the disappearance of materiality to understand this on a deeper level).

Living within a society that is completely dualistic; meaning the fabric of its very foundations depend and thrive within the context of today and tomorrow, the separations between you and I - there is an emphasis that we must do this or we must do that today so that we may become something tomorrow. In this we are influenced by the past and tied to the expectations of the future. There is a FEAR that permeates this way of being, for there is a notion that we are not good enough right now. Yet we have a choice to whereas we can let the conditioned mental process ground us into the illusions of self-lack or we can decide to live beyond the mind.

Living beyond the mind requires a leap of faith into the world of spirit. Sensing spirit instills the knowing in us that what represents us internally, through sensing our "soul drive," facilitates the manifestation process that is ideal to our evolution. This is one of the cosmic laws of the universe. That the soul provides all that we need to know. Yet this requires supreme trust in a realm which is meta-physical. But if we trust ourselves, if we trust the process of life, without thinking, and holding onto to the knowing that what is happening now is for the best of our souls awakening, do the illusions of tomorrow fade away. Hope and Fear than vanish. And what we are left with is pure and unlimited potential.

Living in the present and away from living through our mind has an inherent quality of forgiveness. Because to let go of the past and step into the present allows the experiencer to let go of the past and all that it has stood for. The unfolding of everything "ill" that we have witnessed in out lives become seen from the perspective that all has occurred based on the only way things could have. All was perfect because it could have been no other way in that prior experience of now...This is pure acceptance...

Being present also means that we inherently accept. Because from the present all is discovered and created as it is without the thought of what it could be, should be, or would be. All simply "is" in all of its glory and perfection.

So to be where you want to be...you need to realize that you are already there.

The title of this piece highlights the movement of living from within the illusion of the mind (tomorrow) to living in the NOW. For what we all want really is to be comfortable in our own life. Pure acceptance and forgiveness of the self means we have stepped into the NOW.

Communion

Do you ever sense the communion between all? Do you ever walk through the city, the village, the forest or wherever and sense the universality between all?

It is difficult to put words on such an experience because it is a perceptual experience, but too see the world in front of you without the divisions that the mind creates allows one to sense what they are actually seeing. Sensing here is key. For the sensing experience has nothing to with thoughts. It is being with your observation. Just simply being there. In this moment...EVERYTHING IS NEW AND AWE-INSPIRING.

Thoughts and words refine our experience through the filter of conceptual understanding. Words and concepts are inherently limited in comparison to the awesome experience of seeing the world without a filter, without a thought. You can then sense the timelessness, the communion, and the awe of the Now...Do not let these words that I share with you become a trap (or those who have shared there words with me). Use a guidepost to take a step and then let it all go....

So what do I mean by divisions? Well, if we label anything we create a divide between what we witness and what we are. The label is a thought. The division between the thinker and the "thing" being thought about objectifies the entity being observed and in that objectification duality is created. Duality being the divide between the thinker and the object being thought about. The thought, which is the label, and the thinker, which is the entity which created the thought, become objects divided from each other. But, is the division purely illusionary?

If our perception of something becomes altered because of the thought we have about it: For example, if we look at a "tree" and sense the idea, concept, or word, "tree," do we not stay within the realm of the duality? Do we not filter our experience this way? Can we instead sense to see instead of think to see? Does what we perceive than become an object from which we are divided from? Do we then actually not "see" what we are looking at? Because is a "tree" really a tree? Is a "tree" really a divisible and a separate entity within the environment? Because physically speaking, the tree cannot exist without the sun, the soil, its roots, the clouds, the ocean, the stars, the galaxy, the movement of gravity etc...This is the conceptual understanding again, but it only illuminates the fact that words divide actual observation into categories that are far from what they really are...Because nothing can essentially be identified in this sense without losing sense of the communion that is inherently woven into our being.


Now, this is not to say throw away thought. Because thoughts help us navigate, but if we are too truly commune with whatever it is that we witness, does it not seem obvious that a thought would get in the way of this communion? Are we to always be navigating through life? Why not once in a while stop and BE. Stop and SENSE. Stop moving for a moment, take a breathe, and sense the communion...If you have a thought, allow it to be, but do we need to let it automatically become what we see?

Now what about lovers? What happens in that amazing experience where two people unite and just sense each other. Ponder this? Have you ever looked at someone you love and just let all thoughts fall by the way side? Have you ever witnessed you lover without attributing a name to them, without contributing an expectation to them, without holding them to a conventional rule? When all the conversations loose their luster, when the lust has simmered, and when the routine of keeping our selves entertained have lost there appeal, what then are we left with? - Is it possible that these things are born of thoughts, expectations, and distractions - all of which stem in the mind from a place of self lack (because the ego is always lacking and always wants more) - are our relationship dramas not born from the inherent lack of the ego (which is born through mind identification with your reality)?

Do we see that thoughts are restless and limited? Do we see that the ego always wants? But why would the ego want? I believe the answer lies here: If we are disconnected from source and not in "communion," because there is a divide between the thinker and the "thing" being observed, is there not an existential void that is created? Is this why the ego always wants? Because we are inherently "without" when we are divided from the reality in which we find ourselves? Is communion with the world, with our friends, with our lovers, with the all that is, our birthright! We have the ability to step away from the ego that prescribes lack, unrelenting desire, and division, so that we may again sense what it is that we are...Sense that we are inherently whole, inherently in communion, alive and ONE. Communion is the end of the ego's existential lack. Communion is what brings us back into balance. Yes, thoughts help us navigate, but where are we going if we cannot sense what we are or where we are going?

Clearing Judgement, Clearing the Body

A judgment is simply a thought that the mind uses to categorize someone or something and make sense of this observation conceptually. Judgments can be either "positive," "negative," or neutral. This is obvious. But what is always not so obvious is that all thoughts are creative. And in the act of creation, thoughts manifest as an energy form within the mind and subsequent body of your being (we call these energy forms emotions). And it is this energy form that plays itself out in the mind and on the body in either "positive," "negative," or neutral ways... Therefore what you think becomes what you are. Because what we think creates emotions within us. *(Before I jump deeply into this, it is important to take note that these types of feelings and emotions are part of the egoic mind. There is nothing wrong or bad about them, just do not confuse them with the feelings derived from awareness (which essentially is love in the acknowledgment of the beauty that is life)).

Now back to judgments, which are thoughts used to perceive the subjective world we witness. In many instances they help us on the journey of our lives by helping us navigate our relationships, careers, and the small stuff from like what we should eat for breakfast...obvious indeed. But do we witness the enormous power we give to the process of judgment? For these judgments linger within us for as long as we continue to be unconscious of them. We attach to them. They become the things of the ego.

The ego is inherently unconscious, for it is the minds way of prescribing a set of behaviors and thoughts given a situation. And if a situation baffles us, we tend to step away from the ego, even temporarily. For in the presence of a beautiful sunset, we are silent, we are in awe...but we then cling for that experience again...and so the ego grows...

For example, Judging Another...

We see another person standing there...and all of a sudden the egoic mind starts to pass judgment, most often unconsciously. The ego creates these judgments as a basis of comparison. But in light of how we can actually be a participant in the creative process of the mind, we should look at why there is a need for comparison anyway? Herein lies the existential dilemma of coming to know what you are without the ego...for the ego builds its whole existence on the comparison of others... and usually criticizes another so that it bolsters its own self worth. The ego is afraid to not exist...for it fears its "death." And do we not fear our death? But what is it that makes us so afraid of death? Has this fear not been conditioned into us? And so to like the ego is a condition of our existence, we live unconsciously through our conditions, afraid to see the possibilities of living beyond the ego. when we are conscious of this moment the ego dissolves, even if so temporarily, and only when we revert back to the automatic way of living do we step into the ego again...

Only when we can start to see the ego as an entity that has been brought into our lives as a conditioned variable, passed down through the generations of dualistic living, can we begin to have power over it and give ourselves the ability to evolve consciously to a place of silent wholeness.

Now for real...when you judge another, are you really conscious of all that goes into the judgment process? Can you sense why they are acting the way they are? Can you see into every moment of there past and analyze why they have created a conditioned mode of being different to yours? Or are you jealous of something? Or do you simply bolster yourselves through there own imperfections - does this not make you than, imperfect?

The ego will always be imperfect because it is searching and desiring to become more than what it already is - perfection is the process of accepting what is and allowing yourself to simply stay in that state - nothing more, nothing less.

Simply put, any judgment on another becomes a judgment within the body of your being. You embody these judgments as emotions. If you are angry towards someone you feel the anger, if you are jealous of someone or something you feel the jealousy. If you feel joyous towards another your become that feeling of joy. So choose wisely in this creative process, for your thoughts and subsequent judgments of another become you. The energy form that you feel towards another becomes you...This is why giving is wonderful...

Herein lies a clue to seeing the universal oneness within you. As you relate to another or to another thing in this matrix of seemingly dualistic proportions, your relation process and the creations of that process through thought and judgment become embedded within your own emotional body. So then how are we to be? How are we to navigate? Because we all know that judgments are necessary from time to time.

My advice would be only to judge if there is no basis of comparison involved when you judge another or another thing. In this case your moving into a more neutral territory. And in neutral territory, which is inherently more silent on the emotional body, you leave greater room for source energy to make its way into your awareness. Source energy is the energy that permeates all of existence through the ethers. It is the invisible fabric that is woven into all of life. And it is supreme love for it begets life.

Now it may be difficult to witness whether or not we are being "neutral" and not applying these judgments as some sort of comparison to ourselves. We may be unconscious to this process...so really dig deep and seek that awareness within you...because the more you deliberately become conscious the greater and deeper your awareness becomes. Just sit with whatever it is that you feel and become aware of this. The answer than, to whether or not you are judging from a place of ego, will become clear to you. If there is a peaceful silence that you feel, than you know that your clearing energy paths for yourself.

The goal of all this would be to clear your emotional body so that you can become to sense the "what is." Emotions often get in the way of being for they lock us into particular patterns. *Take note: there is a difference between love created in the mind (which tends to be possessive and conditional) and the love you feel from feeling the oneness and awe of your own very awareness. This process does not produce an emotionless person, rather it creates a person, or rather an awareness, that is open to what the universe is creating beyond the egoic mind (essentially which is just everything, but just in a clearer manor). True source love from the divine is channeled through this clearer awareness...

Simply see yourself in judgment...see why you do it and then accept it. Most importantly...FORGIVE yourself for whatever it is that you have created, for forgiveness of the self is the greatest medicine one can bring to oneself. Furthermore, in the forgiveness of another, because we realize that they are living out their life drama in the only way they know how too, we become more open and we find that it is easier to forgive ourselves...because remember, all intertwines and relates in this one world existence. For even in the seemingly illusory dualism of person and thing, person and person, there is something that brings us all together. And hidden in the ethers of this realm of existence is the love of god, the love of life, and the love of love...on and on and on...add infinity...


Follow up question/concern from a fellow reader via email (feel free to contact me anyway):

Anonymous: What if it is not others we judge, but rather ourself? Any judgment I make is towards myself - yet I accept others.

But... I guess in judgment you can't really judge yourself apart from others - ultimately you are comparing yourself to others... otherwise you would be accepting of who you are... So more or less... I feel like I'm constantly seeing myself as "not as good", and I rarely (if ever) find myself looking down on someone else because I accept them for who they are in that moment. You even caught it in my message that I sent you when I compared "consciousness levels"...

Chris: Right right. I hear you. Your definitely understanding this intellectually. And yes, the judgments we place on ourselves are the same because without the other there is no self judgment. So you get that. So once you can begin to see that the judgments of yourself or others stems from a place of lack...which is the basis and foundation of the ego - that always wants more - you begin to see the whole picture...

Ok yeah, well you can begin to see this...well than what's next? --- the next part is the experiential component--the part which you must live. This is all about accepting the automatic reactions of the ego...but before you can even accept really- you need to witness yourself. We all live from a set of conditions-- taught by society etc...but forgive that, become aware of the reactionary judgment of yourself...analyze where it comes from if you wish, but ultimately accept yourself for having a reaction: than in the shadows of that acceptance of reactivity lies a silence...that is our true essence...even if it only last for a moment...you have tasted it. So become conscious of yourself through witnessing yourself in each moment of now...Yet DO NOT stress this part. Consciousness is a muscle. And you work at it. In "time" (through repeated experience) it becomes stronger (more aware). So forgive yourself above all else... Because ultimately there is nothing to attain, no endgame, no perfection... This is your journey...and the trail itself is perfection!

Anonymous: Instead if just understanding where my feelings of inadequacy stem from I need to let myself see myself from an outside perspective... And then accept myself for all that I am... In that moment.... Just as I do for others....

Its a matter of action, or living, and accepting myself and the world for what it is... Bc in essence it'll never be anything else since there is only now...

Chris: Very well said!

Not seeing yourself from an outside perspective...is essentially seeing yourself without getting caught in the tangle of our ego and its personal identification...so the "outside" perspective is stepping aside from that. It is "outside" to us because it goes outside the confines of how we were conditioned to be.

The ego thrives and continues its existence off any type of self judgment (pos or neg)...bc the ego is the entity that identifies with the mind...and the mind being as malleable as it is soaks in everything...and we find our self in somewhat of a predicament in this "modern culture.". But stay aware, stay on course here...and you will change and become who you always were/are!!! Because we are all inherently beautiful and perfect. We are creation...simply that...getting caught up in any thought is illusory and feeds the ego. So don't worry about not having thoughts...bc we will...but instead focus on the power we give to those thoughts...are you the thought or the thinker? Just keep being aware...

The "Disappearance" of Materiality...

Peering through the ethers of this existence there appears more to me than what meets the eye. The physical reality is loosening and I am beginning to sense the fabric that twines this weave of cosmic extensions, galactic intentions, and soulful intent. Behind the vial of material reality lies the sensation reality, which is coming through as pure feeling, which is transcribed into pure perception, and than which is acted through in the state of "being." Being, by only being, and not expecting anything to occur. This is the cycle. Sense, perceive, be... This cycle is accelerating itself through the cosmic breath of our solar deity...the sun. As light from the sun penetrates our external existence so to do we move into "light" being from the inside out at an accelerated rate. The rate is accelerating as the sun moves across to the galactic point zero. All celestial bodies than within our galaxy withstand an even greater degree of gravity and magnetism. This in turn, creates a more powerful sun (at both the physical and the meta-physical level). And what this does is allow consciousness to know itself at an even greater level...And the level we are moving too transcends the physical. We are moving into a realm where materiality as we know it is going to transcend the physical and become multidimensional. Meaning we will be able to conceptualize things in a non-dual nature, our state of being will be more enhanced for telepathic communication, psychic recall, and overall sensitivity. The cosmic intentions that are revealing themselves to us manifest in our simple perception and raise our vibrations accordingly. And it is simple in its message and and subsequent transformation...***that the new dawn of 4th dimensional reality is upon us, where "time" is no longer and duality seizes through understanding the experiential experience of oneness.***

The material reality, the aspect of existence that we relate a lot of our egonic identifications with, is loosening its grip...You may not sense this right now, but it is occurring...question this, do you feel less tied to the past than you did years ago? Do you feel as if you are not paying attention to the date and time as much? Do you see that our material desires are beginning to loose there appeal and sense of fulfillment? This is not to undermine the material existence...for in this dense 3D reality we have come to know material, the physical, and our earthly bodies...And in this physical separation we learned about the ego and its attachments... yet it has given us the experiential gift by experiencing dual individualness and then experiencing the transformation to communal oneness. This is a cosmic right of passage...from emphasis on materiality and individualness too cosmic essence and non-duality.



This transformation occurs through an astrological cleansing process that is actually occurring now. This is the astrological cleansing process of moving to a higher vibrational existence...to where we literally feel as if are melting into the physical...letting the ego to rest, and realizing our true nature of oneness with each other and our earth...But it is important to realize that this has only been possible by first experiencing the physical, time bound, dual reality. Collectively as we approach the winter solstice of 2012, we move into the depths of the cleansing process where physical reality looses its hold, time stops, and we awaken with the experiential understating of oneness. This is the collective consciousness evolution that is occurring now and will happen for decades to come. Astrologically we are moving into a "speed zone" - where transition happens faster. If we consciously relinquish the power that the egonic mind has over our being the less confusing, less stressful, and more harmonious this transition will be.

Believe what you want - but do not find your knowledge anymore in thought paradigms, for these only stagnate the mind with modes of knowledge that are inherently antiquated (for when we realize that thoughts are mere abstractions we begin to witness that the only thing "real" is the perception of NOW {beyond conceptions and words})....*but instead sense for yourself whatever it is that you sense at the core of your essence...for the "answer" always lies within...yet always be aware of how your ego identifies with the rest of your "life." Is your life really the "drama" that the ego has created for it or is it the free forming, boundless and timeless creation that you simply sense...The disappearance of materiality is occurring now(in the sense that we begin to sense that there is more to existence than the physical realm)...and will only be accelerating in the years to come...Yet before I ramble on too heavy into meta-physics, what is it that holds us back from thinking for ourselves???

Is it fear? Fear that we will no longer understand who we are, what we should do, and how to relate to our mundane existence... The existence that perpetuates the emphasis on material reality (for our "livelihoods" are harnessed in the material world, through the consumer society)...Do you not see...there is this fear of sensing life through a window where no words, ideals, concepts, or thought patterns shape and mold what you sense. We would be living "out of our minds." Yet we are afraid to step beyond these bounds...and of course... why would we not be afraid to be different and ostracize oneself by "being out of one's mind"...We have been taught that love is conditional, that criticism is inherently human, and that we are less than perfect. So are we to disobey the status quo??? and leave the existential security blanket of the so called modern world?

Fear is the inhibiting force that suppresses our true elemental nature...the nature that we are not only the physical, but we are the timeless and the boundless...And we begin to see this really when we step "out of our minds" (beyond the conditional existence). For even in our passing (in the death of our bodies) do we still exist within the physical realm (as our intent that we acted upon in the waking body reverberates throughout all of eternity through the emotional imprints left behind). The thought paradigms and identifications forms of the ego not only repress this sensing nature, our psychic nature, but it keeps us controlled by the dogmatic and power hording institutions that are currently in power (namely religious institutions, corporate institutions etc., that keep us tied to the fear paradigm, by denying our ability to experience the reality of timelessness, boundlessness, and eternalness.) We are taught to fear a god that will condemn us if we do not obey, we are taught to fear the corporate structure in the sense that we cannot survive without it, and we are taught that we are only our physical bodies...

-- But regardless as we pass the winter solstice 2012 corridor we --

Open, Open, Open...to a 4D reality where duality no longer exists conceptually. The spirit world is all around us and also lives within us...This is the fabric that ties all together. Just sense and you will see...Deny and you will see denial...It is simply a matter of conscious intent...Do we want to be sensitive to what is and what is happening, or do we want to be closed off and living in a constant fear that dis-empowers our essence to see, to love, and to be open...

"Openness" is the essence of the dissolving material reality...because this is a process that is happening regardless...it may as well be a smooth transition

The Journey of Now

Why not venture into your moment of now as if you are a visitor? The visitor sees everything as novelty and everything as new...even within the "mundane" aspects of our "everyday," is there something new. For when we escape our projections, expectations, and thoughts as to what this now moment will be like we will see the wonder of this very real new moment. All of life is a journey. We are visitors as we walk further and further into the ever expanding moment of now...this is the journey.



When we travel to places to which we have never been before there is a sense of awe. Traveling evokes that journeying spirit within us and it enables us to more easily step outside the confines of our conditioned existence. That is why we are so attracted to it. But why not see this very moment as a moment in the journey of your life, your existence? Because when we see the reactivity of our egos to this moment...due to what we expect the mundane to evoke within us...we become stagnant, the journey dies, and time traps the creative journey into something we expect. So why not step away from our expectations, by first becoming aware of them and then allowing oneself to be set free by the profound realization that you are creating your experience. So why not let the creative experience of your life be a journey where you are the visitor in awe to this moment of now? To me this enables one to bask in the glory and love of your existence.

What profound gratefulness that is embedded within this state...Even in our everyday, even if we have a job that "demands" that we see the same people, sit in front of the same computer, and do the same tasks can we still witness the journey within this moment. Because realize, this is not forever...this is only NOW. Forever tethers us to the notion that we are trapped by the expectations of how this moment will be and how the next moment will be. Instead of letting the conditioned mind take over with its expectations of how this moment should be, open up to the knowing that you are a "visitor" to this very experience...This is your journey...It is Timeless!

The Awe of Awareness

I sit here on a bench looking towards the 59th st bridge. Second avenue runs adjacent to where I sit...The tram takes passengers to Roosevelt Island, High Schoolers congregate and yell, and the homeless rest. It is a relatively warm February day here in New York City...And amongst all this over-stimulation I still find peace within myself. As the Auto's rustle, bustle, and roar I sit here in peace. There is this overwhelming sensation within me that I can only label as acceptance. And it is this feeling of awesome acceptance that grounds me into this unbelievable moment of now. My heart is wide open and joyous. "Everything" is running right through me -- yet I am not attaching to it.

In the not so distant past all this stimulation would drive me crazy. And yes, I do still hold the notion that some environments are "healthier" than others (for example, I may prefer to be sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon...), but I experientially now know - in this feeling of utter acceptance of the now - that peace is an inward experience and has nothing to do with external situations. The possibility than exists, that even to be in the midst of great trouble, can one hold a sense of profound peace and awe. For witnessing oneself experience existence in the moment of now is all there really is. The rest is a static creation of the ego which detaches us from witnessing the reality as it is. It is the witnessing experience that allows us to step aside from the ego.

As things move "through me" I accept them by being conscious of my own ego and not letting the judgments and associations of my ego dictate my experience - but rather I allow this consciousness to immerse my perception and open me up to the glorious "what is" experience. In this place I am grounded even further into acceptance because I see that all is temporal - and in witnessing that temporalness I am grateful that I get to witness whatever it is that comes before me. In this sense both gratefulness and acceptance are synonymous.

This experience of profound acceptance is learned especially through our relationships. The more "troubling" the relationship, the greater the opportunity to become conscious of what it is to accept. This is not to say we should seek troubling relationships, but many of those relationships that we have had no choice in the matter of can sometimes be the most challenging...and for good reason, for these relationships give us experiences to which we must demonstrate an even greater degree of conscious awareness to observe how the ingrained ego patterns led us to react. But acceptance, profound acceptance, allows the ego and its reactions to rest. In this greater degree of conscious awareness the ego and its filter begin to dissolve and our true nature reveals itself in the experiential experience of gratefulness. We are traveling further up the evolutionary spiral of consciousness. This is the true movement of life...up the spiral, further and further into a deeper awareness...an awareness with no end... Now, that is awe-some!

This demonstrated awareness also brings us the understanding that those who may have troubled us in the past only do so, or did so, because they are acting in a way that is in-congruent in relation to our current state of being. For we are all different (yet the same through egolessness) - but this is who they are in this moment of now - and although you may want them to be a different way - this is who they are and who they believe they should be. Who are we to tell them to deny their own experience by asking they change it. For this is their experience...and although you may see their reactivity -- this is their karmic lesson -- to live as they are so that they may develop an ego that can be dissolved their own way through deliberate conscious awareness. Again...further and further along the spiral path of consciousness evolution do we travel...

Yes, through deliberate conscious awareness does the ego dissolve and we are brought into oneness (but keep in mind that oneness is as ever expansive as the movement of consciousness evolution up the spiral of awareness)...but because of the process of actually having an ego to dissolve do we come to experientially understand what it is to be a conscious entity (this is the supreme opportunity to be in awe and grateful)...so forgive oneself for ever thinking you should be better than what you are! Because when the ego dissolves you simply are! Nothing more than the perfect divine nothingness and everythingness that intertwines in the ethers of this physical, mental, and spiritual existence are we...Only through the darkness can we come to know what the light is...Through coming to witness our ego and its reactivity can we become realized to the state of communion with the all-that-is...this is awesome acceptance...this is awesome gratefulness...This is Awe...So forgive yourself and yourself to let go of what you believed you thought yourself to be...and stand in the awe of your own simple perfection...

Seeing the Darkness...Seeing the Light...

I guess the first question would be: what is the darkness? It could be seen as the cause of misery, the perpetuation of unconsciousness, and the ignorance that rains modernity. Or it could be the belief of our separateness and isolation.



In our current state, socially speaking, fear controls for the most part. Fear is the darkness that permeates our existence, for when we decide and act from a state of fear (however unconscious) we perpetuate the duality, the isolation of our existence, and the blindness to our inherent connection to the divine. Yet, still in this "darkness" is the opportunity too allow the light of love to illuminate the "real" existence. For example, even in the middle of war one can look into the eyes of their enemy and see too that they are human; capable of love, trust, and harmony...yet we are conditioned to live from another place... and the madness pursues. But still...the possibility for love exists and where ever there is a possibility there lies the opportunity to make a new choice...Instead of living with the "conventional" notions of how we "must" live to secure the desires of the ego, we could choose love and see the inherent interconnectedness of the ALL. Therein lies the balance between the darkness and the light...The pendulum of our very existence oscillates between the possibility of creating out of love and or of fear...



So what keeps us from choosing from a place of fear instead of love? To me it is our inability to let go of expectation and results. When we expect anything we inherently fear that we will go without. It is this feeling of going without that creates an emotional void that essentially is bottomless. Herein lies the foundation to the incessant ego. As long as we feel that we need, we fear. Existentially speaking this goes down all the way down to our fear of death. We fear that we will no longer "own" our experience. The ego expects that we are to own our experience. Yet when we see that we have nothing more than the "being that permeates our bodies" can we begin to see that this fear, created from the needs of the ego, slaves us to the projections of tomorrow and to the expectations we set on ourselves for how tomorrow is supposed to be.

Love, in many of our conventional relationships, could be another escape from the existential darkness embedded within our ego. For if we cannot get over the fear of our very own immortality (we fear our mortality because we hold the belief that we are only body) we entrust our fear to be dismantled by the overpowering influence of another's love. We seek this love in hopes of crushing our own egotistical fears, yet this creates dissonance in our relationships for the thing we escape, our own fears and lack of inner fulfillment, manifests itself into our relationships. This illuminates the fact that love must be built first from within by seeing the perfection of your own very existence. And how does one build the love from within? It is not somethign that needs to be built at all, but it is experienced by witnessing the inherent beauty of the ability to perceive anything at all. This is the gift of perception and in it lies the ability to be grateful. And in that gratefulness there is love. Darkness exists in the sense that we cannot see the light of our interconnectedness. If we seek relationships to lift our misery, to fill our voids, the relationship becomes toxic. In this sense the relationship was sought to fill in the voids that fear and the limitless desires of the ego has created. To let fear perpetuate is to allow the illusions of dualism and separateness to continue...To let love reign is to choose community and harmony, for when we realize that all we have is what is happening right now, we let go of the expectation and desires that tomorrow may bring. And from this moment of now we have the choice to see things anew. To live from the Ego is to live form fear. To live from love is to live from the place of seeing, sensing, and knowing, the interconnectedness of all existence. This insight, of which is a choice, transmutes the isolation of darkness to the all empowering experience of the light - illuminating the oneness inherent to being.

Yet the darkness is just as perfect as the light, for without separation to begin with we would never be able to experientially understand ourselves as both individuals and both one within the interconnected matrix of existence. Remember, "being" goes beyond logic, for there is more that meets the eye in this three dimensional reality.

The Balanced Evolution of Being and Knowledge; Letting what you Know be Forgotten

"Opening" one self up only takes one instant, one moment - for the only moment is this moment - so why dwell in the passages and long labyrinth corridors of our minds. We can simply step aside from all that drama...Think if you must, but do not let the thinking become your default mode of being...

...these words are being reveled to me as a message from a clear channel I am currently open too...for this "knowledge" that I am disseminating too you - comes to me - for it is the "medicine" I seek from the divine...

For upon us lays the vast experience of being. And what is being? It is the balance of perception and analysis. Being is allowing perception to reign over analysis and to use analysis only when necessary. Analysis does give greater depth to our perception, but that is only when we are not letting our analysis cloud our perception in the moment of now. Analysis should be sough, but then it should be allowed to seep into the subconscious reservoir of our being.

We may take a "time out" from the moment of now to think, but it is literally a moment away from the only moment in time...now...If we are simply being from a state of analysis we are constantly labeling and constructing a experience that is ultimately illusionary. From this state we slip into a thinking default mode of being. Analyze, analyze, analyze, and yet realize that analysis is nothing but a mere time out from the real state of being. The "real" state of being is the realm of aligning oneself with what is and feeling that from the inside out. Analysis can be a guidepost, but do not become stuck in your journey and obsess about the signpost you see or obsess about the next signpost you may see. Ultimate being lies in the journey.

Time out may bring a broadened perspective of being - yet do not get lost here. Let analysis have its place, but do not 1) identify with thinking and your analysis, for this identification process perpetuates the thinking default way of living and gives illusory strength to the ego and 2) do not let the analysis stay static - for if you come to a "knowing," honor it in that moment, but realize that in another moment (sometime in the "future") that "knowing" may be transformed. Accept that, forgive yourself by not identifying with "what you know" and move on... This is the evolution of "knowing" and it can of course augment your state of being. Yet knowledge can also stagnate being by not letting you experience the thoughtless state of being. Just let the "knowledge" sit with you - let it become part of your being, but do not keep it in your mind.

The best way to truly know something is to let go of it, forget it, and have faith that when it is useful or applicable to a state of being it will resurface.

This is a balance between the left process oriented brain and the right emotion oriented brain.

This balance keeps you open - this allows for growth because all this allows for forgiveness, love, knowledge, and divinity to exist within your state, for this is the inherent state of being - and that is not a thought...This is seeing the world as it is. But just in case that we become inundated with the world's negative...remember that all the "negative" we see in the world derives from fear. And see that fear is the reverse of love. In this sense Love and Fear is all there is. Which do you choose to perceive? The one of love, or the isolation of fear...

The Man/Woman Divide and Union Through Egolessness

Women: a totally different energy. They always intrigue me. Inherently softer, yet a boldness too their softness... Amazingly graceful, yet oh so poignant. Although different, it is difficult to decipher why there is such a divide between men and women in the general sense of being. Of course there are differences, but in reality there is a lot more that connects men and women than divides us...and in that beautiful connection we are brought back together in perfect union.

In honoring our differences and accepting them as they are, not judging them and not putting one sex before the other, our affinity for each other grows stronger and wiser. It is as simple as that...yet what makes things complex, and often creates "conflict" between men and women, is that we cling to ego identifications that have been perpetuated over the thousands of years of human socialization. These ego identifications, that keep us tied in our own minds and hence compartmentalize our state of being into a static and an often unchanging essence, I believe, this has created tension, awkwardness, and a disconnect that pushes us to create boundaries between one another. This is more prominent in our major social hubs (i.e. New York City). Of course the fascination and attraction is there -- for opposites are always drawn to each other -- but what I am saying is that the personal ego identifications that develop in line with social gender expectations distort the actual picture and create a complex array of conditions thus making the inherent union between a man and a woman inaccessible.

Men, because of our social structure, harbor (however unconsciously) feelings of inner "inadequacy" in comparison to women. Because men have not fully integrated all aspects of being into there, well… being (due to the socialization process and the inherent ties to thought paradigms), there is an inherent feeling of inadequacy at the unconscious level. Because men have not accepted the feminine aspects of being and assimilated this into their own state of being men sublimate machismo and hoard power, both independently and socially, as an ego defense. This is apparent in our power driven social infrastructure, where power (born of fear and disconnect) controls.

Pinpointing the origins of all this is not as important as discovering how fear impacts our thought process and our subsequent behavior. It is this fear that drives us to create walls and ego defense mechanisms. Where, to the contrary, love connects and breaks down these boundaries.

Now, women too have created their own socially influenced egotistical ways of being. In response to our particular society of power, women have sought to acquire some of this power. And women have done so in the “conventional” ways, but also have done so by emphasizing aspects of physical desire and the power that can be derived through lust and sex. Now when I say these things - it is not black and white - and both sexes employ these tactics - it is all simply a matter of degree, yet in doing this women tend to ignore (to varying degrees) the power of their emotional proclivity. Yet in a society that values material and physicality (and why would a society that lives on the physical planet earth in the "3rd" dimension do otherwise? - for all this is part of our evolution as a collective), women see the fruitfulness of this endeavor. It affords them a sense of social connectedness (for it grants them power, and to "connect" in this society one seeks to acquire power). But we need to realize that both men and women employ egotistical ways of being that are fear based. Fear in the sense that these actions are born out of the feeling of "not having enough" - not having enough self-worth, power, "love," etc...

Only when we see that all is in perfect order and we can live without the need of thought identifications, ego defenses, and the like to protect the fragile images of self will we begin to rise up from a fear based culture to a love based culture. Thoughts and ego-identifications only create walls, boundaries, and separation between all aspects of being in a world that is inherently connected and one (and inherently in perfect order – for things only are…). Maybe then, from an experiential witnessing of this inherent interconnectedness and oneness between all aspects of existence, would we appreciate the gentleness of a man’s touch and the intuitive emotional cleverness of a woman without defense? Maybe then would a woman feel comfortable being completely vulnerable to a man in the physical sense (without having to employ ego defenses that repress aspects of being vulnerable) and maybe then will a man feel comfortable being emotionally expressive and vulnerable in dropping his own ego... Divine union takes a willingness to be open and live from the soul - untainted by the mind and ego creations. Vulnerability then is pure strength...