Reconstructing our Global Reality

Our nation, the United States, is the richest and most powerful nation in the world.  The rich live a decadent lifestyle and there exist a large middle class, but tens of millions live in poverty.  50 million people [1/6 of our population] cannot afford basic health services.  15% of our people live in dire conditions.  85% of retired Americans, the most vulnerable demographic among us, live in poverty.  We also have one of the highest infant mortality rates in the world.  Yet how can this happen in the "wealthiest"  nation in the world?

We all feel somewhat helpless don't we?  This helplessness does not feel good and so we often suppress our compassion in an attempt to defend ourselves from the perverse inequality in this country and in the world.  And sometimes in attempts to ward ourselves from the pain we blame those in poverty for being in poverty.  Subsequently we look outside ourselves for the solutions to our problems.  We want "someone" else to fix the big problems facing our world.  Yet when we do this we subvert our ability to be optimally human by allowing "our leaders" to deal with our inner most spiritual and ethical dilemmas.  The roots of this dilemma are psychological.

We need to be brave and observe the belief structures that uphold this current way of life.  All of it.  Do we really believe we are "survivalists?"  This belief supports our current destructive ways.  Yet I know there is a place in all of our hearts that cries out to the injustice, to the destruction, and to the tyranny all around the globe.

We need to be brave and honest.  We need to ask ourselves whether or not a concentrated group of people, those who have a detached interest apart from you and I, a group of people whom create the politics that govern the distribution of power and wealth, can really be trusted to the overall wealth of the entire collective of people?

I understand the confusion, the frustration, and the desperation we feel.  The problem seems so beyond us and too big to deal with as individuals.  And therefore we plead for our governments to fix our ills.  But we need to bare witness to the possibility that our desperation gets us to oversee the truth that politics is a game of deception.

If we were really allowed to see all that went on in government we would not choose to be governed at all.  Governments aim is to convince us that the decisions it makes is for our own good.  Yet this system allows for our food to be poisoned in the name of profit.  It pushes us into war to protect its own interests in the name of profit.  It is a horror.  And we are told that we are "survivalists."  But are we really?  Or is that what we are taught?  Therein lies the deception.

Politics is a practical art.  The political arena becomes a place where people of power seek to convince you that their self-interest is your own. In this process we abdicate our autonomy to a governing body that each day alienates itself further and further from the needs the common person.  The 99%.

Now, this is not my attempt to bastardize America.  I am pointing to an endemic of social system dysfunction that can be felt and observed everywhere.  The governments no longer govern, they conduct deals for their own self-interest.  War and dysfunction is their business.  War is absurdly profitable for the powerful.  Furthermore, over 50% of America's hard earned tax money goes to fund the military: [Pie Chart].  "That's the name of the game" they tell us.  "Freedom is never free" we hear.  But how are we free if our social ethic condones the mass murdering of civilians and soldiers worldwide in the name of profit?  Is this really freedom?

On the surface it seems that no one is going to stand up to the outrage of inequality we see.  Yet, there is an outrage building within the hearts of all of us.  We are becoming more compassionate and I feel more of us are becoming more aware of ourselves and each other.  We feel the outrage for the innocent children with their rib cages exposed and swollen bellies desperately look for food at their local trash heap.  If we are to evolve as a society and as people this perverse inequality cannot happen anymore.  And anything that gets in the way of progress should be made aware of and done away with.  We must ask ourselves the ultimate question: Can self-interest ever be replaced by the best interest, the common interest, of humankind?  If so, how?

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The profit motive allows us to justify and condone our destructive ways of life.  And who do you think keeps in place a way of life where the acquisition of wealth justifies the destruction of the world and the dis-empowerment of most of its people?  The banks, those with the wealth, and those in power.  Those with the power would no longer retain power if they acted in the interest of the commoner.  And that is why nothing ever changes.

But we must awaken to our own POWER!  We have it and it is within us.  It is the invincible truth within you that no one can touch.  Therein lies your true freedom and source of highest intelligence.  Inside you exists your moral and social compass.  Let's realize that those with the power could no longer retain power if we awoke to our true nature as divine creators on a collective spiritual journey.

If our civilization is to evolve we should be governing ourselves.  We cannot grow and become great when we are constantly being told what to by government.  Government influences everything in our lives.  From education, to medicine, to our morals, and to what we know.  Believe me, there is no elite of people that knows better as to how the course of how your life should unfold.  Only you know what is best for yourself.

I suggest we get out of our minds and into our hearts and let OUR morals guide us.  The highest voice within should be the voice that guides us into the future, not the voice of another of whom you elect to do so.  There is a voice within you that loves and cares for everything.  Listen to that.  We may just see the world change!

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You cannot legislate mortality.  You cannot mandate equality.  What we need is a shift in the collective consciousness, not an enforcer of collective consciousness.  And we can only do that when we come to terms with the currently reality.  Each of us needs to be responsible for what we see here.  And we can only do that when we have equal compassion for ourselves as well as for others.  Only when we see another's plight as our own will we change the world.

The entire planet faces a crisis of consciousness.  We must decide whether we can care for each other and move forward with a drastically new way of life.  If we don't we may just destroy everything we have worked so hard to create.  It is time for the world to stop kidding itself, to wake up, and realize that the only problem of humanity is a lack of love.  Love breeds tolerance and tolerance breeds peace.

The fastest way to get to a place of love and concern for humankind is to see that all of humankind is your family.  When we awake to the the realization that we really are one giant family our compassion will govern us.  No longer will we see each other as separate and a new world ethic will be created and felt.  These are simple yet profound guidelines.  They can help us reconstruct our global reality and govern ourselves in a way that will truly create peace on earth.

What can we Learn from the Tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary?

I personally cannot wrap my head around what happened today.  How could someone shoot at innocent children?  How could someone massacre the most precious amongst us?  What happened in Newton, Connecticut has troubled me deeply.  Yet after we morn we must reflect on why this has happened.  

This event has become one of many.  There is a undercurrent of irrational madness that is pulsating through certain people to act in the most heinous of ways.  And although some may not agree I need to state what I feel.  This event, and those like it, are not just the outcome of "sick" people.  These "sick" people do the things they do because they feel they are doing the "right" thing.  Yes, people who take the lives of innocent people, especially children, are outrageously sick and troubled, but how and why did they become this way?  How did this person justify such madness?

We of course can make adjustments in gun control policy.  And maybe that will change the number of deaths per gun assault, but that still will not change the brutality at the core of such events.  The young man who took the innocent lives of those children was obviously sick, but why was he?

Maybe his parents taught him that this brutality is normal.  Maybe he was severely neglected as a child?  Maye this or maybe that...The motive is not entirely important here.  But what is important is that we observe how this event is reflective of where we have evolved as a society.  I am not making excusing for this man.  He is disgusting.  But what I am also trying to say is that our social dysfunction is at the root of why this event took place [as well as the events that happened at Columbine, Virgina Tech, and Aurora, CO].

Do we ever question that paradigm that begets such tragedy?  Has our survivalist way of life caused a disturbance in all of us that has us so desensitized?  Has the psychological isolation that has us repressing our emotions come about due to a lack of a communal ethic between people?  All I am trying to say is that these "isolated" bursts of brutal rage have to do with how we function socially.  I am not saying I know how or why.  We must all collectively discover that together.  As I have said before... we can only heal together.

There is a little darkness in all of us.  I say that becuase at the social level we condone brutal war, the perverse inequality we see globally, and the mass murdering going on everywhere.  We say it is "out of our hands" and our insensitivity condones this survivalist dog eat dog way of life.  But when will we be brave enough to change our ways and make a stand?

A brave awareness to see things as they are will help us move forward into a more peaceful co-existence becuase this brave awareness will open our sensitivity to life.  This sensitivity will help us see what we are doing to each other, to ourselves, and to the Earth and upon the discovery of our own ignorance we will act with an enlightened sense of empathy.

So I urge you to bring the light into the darkness.  Bring the positive into the negative.  You can do this by loving your neighbor, helping those who call out for it, and by getting more involved in your community.  Give to those as if you have everything to give and let your fears subside.  For it is the emotion of fear that begets all of the things that are messed up with the world.  Greed, anger, and insensitivity are all products of fear and the the idea of not having enough.  We need to transcend this survivalist mentality if we are finally going to have the society that we yearn for.

Again, we may never know the full intention of why this man did this.  His actions were the epitome of darkness, but we must observe the darkness that is inherent in this current society if we are going to see our way into the light.  God bless the town of Newton, Conn, the children and families of Sandy Hook Elementary School, and to everyone reading this.  May we find the strength and courage to walk a new path.

The Power Within

As self-reflective beings we are gifted with tremendous creative power.  Our self-reflections become known and felt on the inside through experience.  And by honing in on these inner thoughts and feelings we enhance our ability to effectively live with purpose.  We are always creating, but to the degree to which we become aware of our inner experience is to the degree to which we hone in on this creative potential. The hard work of enhancing self awareness pays off becuase we figure out through experience what is best for us.   

The purpose of this post is to understand how to bring the knowledge of the soul forward so that we can reflect this energy upon life as opposed to letting the repetitive and conditioned mind dominate our existence.

As our thoughts and feelings radiate outward they interact with everything.  All thoughts and feelings are creative.  For example, if I were walking around feeling angry chances are I wouldn't find myself in experiences that day that are joyful and creative.  Opportunities to experience a sense of well-being, peace, and or fun may be right there in front of me, but in this instance my anger would block me from seeing the opportunities to create that.  On this day my anger would became the filter through which I create life.  The natural rule here that I want us to observe is that...life will bring you exactly what it is that you bring to life.  It's that simple.

Of course we have a hard time believing it's this simple.  Our emotions are dynamic and multifaceted.  Often we find ourselves chasing to understand our own thoughts entangled by their mixed messages.  But only when we get out of our on way do we start letting go of how our emotionally dynamic self constructs a life of confusion, contradiction, and emotional imbalance.  So then how do we get out of "our own way?"  We do this by getting out of our minds.  But given how we have been operating for so long it may not come easy.

Simply put, we over use the mind.  Yes, the mind is a beautiful thing.  It helps me convey this message to you, but when we come from a place that is always thinking, always analyzing, we diminish our ability to tune in with the soul.  To me, the soul is the place in all of us that just knows.  It does not need to question.  To me the soul is the place that does not judge, but discerns.  To me it is the place that guides, but does not force.  To me the soul is the source of guidance that enables us to be who we are and create a life that aligns us with the highest vision we have about ourselves.

We are a three part being.  We are mind.  We are body.  And we are soul.  Over indulging in one aspect over the other leads to some sort of disharmony. 

So then how do we "get out of our minds" and balance ourselves so that we can listen and utilize the knowledge of the soul?  I suggest we take time to become profoundly aware of ourselves.  We do this by observing how the mind is operating and how the body is feeling.  Without awareness of the mind the mind uses us.  Without awareness of the body we oversee what it is trying to tell us.  Without awareness we live unconsciously.

To use the example from before, without awareness we may never allow ourselves to control the anger we feel.  Without awareness of the anger, the anger will control us.  It will take root in our body and wear us down.  By taking time to be observant we diminish the control that our impulses have over our experience.  Awareness lets us process, digest, and let go of the experience we are having so that we can step into something totally new and aligned with this moment.

But how do we become more aware?  We become more aware by attempting to decipher between the feelings we feel innately as our own and the feelings we feel that are influenced by conditions we place on ourselves.  The feelings that stem from a sense of lack or temporary fulfillment are feelings that are bound to conditions.  How can one experience a sense of full self-acceptance if we believe we have to be something we are not or attain something that does not start from within?  Thing is, you are already who you want to be...you intuitively know this if you listen to yourself without the clutter and demands of the conditioned mind.  The ultimate process of self creation starts when we listen to the knowledge of the soul.

The knowledge of the soul is a type of knowledge that is beyond concepts and ideas.  Soul knowledge is the experience of unconditional acceptance.  This acceptance brings you a sense of passion and clarity to create a life that suits your highest vision of yourself.  Putting that soul knowledge to work is knowing that in this moment of now that you have the ability to create the life you feel inwardly drawn to.  There is no questioning this.  But it is the mind that reminds you of your self imposed limitations.  And it is the mind that reminds you of who you think you should be.  Yet, the soul knows that life is not bound by the conditions we place upon ourselves.  The conditions we often put in place becuase of past experience.

We often feel safe when we think we know who we are.  But the act of thinking and knowing cannot coexist simultaneously.  If you think of something to be true you only assume it to be true.  Yet when you know something "truth" becomes irrelevant for you have no need to have your truth validated by some idea or someone else.  Your declaration to see things as they are and the confidence you gain by knowing yourself to be who you are releases you from the burden of unconsciousness.  You move forward and create how you decide and that is that.

Allowing yourself to be who you are and allowing yourself to be with things as they are requires that you see things as they are without the need to label it or change it.  From this place of knowledge the mind takes its rightful place in your experience as the transmitter of your life as opposed to the generator it has so "normally" become.  It is important to realize that things may seem normal and we therefore do not question them, but normal does note denote natural.  So please release yourself from the burden of having to be something.  You are already something...and that something is perfection.

It is love and perfection that begets all creation.  And as the creator of your life this is who you...Love and perfection!  So why not create with the knowledge of who you are as opposed to who you think you are.  Go on and step into your power...it is already within you!

Neuroplasticity and its Implications for Human Potential

Over the course of the next few weeks I will be introducing a multi-part series of posts that discuss how new discoveries in neuroscience and quantum physics influence the implications of personal and social evolution.  Today's topic: Neuroplasticity and how it influences human potential.

What is neuroplasticity, what does it have to do with human potential, and how can it potentially change how we view reality?

Until recently, the prevailing view in neuroscience was that the brain contained all of its neurons at birth and that the number and circuitry of these neurons were set within the first few years of life.  However, in the 1990's neuroscience discovered that the brain continues to generate new neurons throughout life (Long, 1996).  This is called Neurogenesis.  It was also discovered that new and existing neurons undergo structural and functional changes in their circuitry in response to the way we mindfully interact with our environment (Long, 1996).  This is called Neuroplasticity.

Recent studies support the notion that refocusing mental awareness brings about important changes in brain circuitry.  When we intend to see or act differently what we are doing at the micro-cellular level in the brain is that we are choosing one neural circuit over another {or creating a new circuit} (Beaurgard, et al., 2001).

Free will and brain circuitry

The brain wires itself, at the same time as many other automatic brain systems, by having the mind strengthen one neural circuit over another. This is the essence of neuroplasticity.  But how does the mind choose how it is going to wire itself?  Who's choosing for the mind?  Obviously you know the answer to this..."you" are.  But what are "you?"

Your brain wires itself in response to the way in which you choose think and be.  Neuroplasticity then, I argue, is something that occurs when the meta-physical "you" interacts with your physical environment.  Intention is not something physical.  It is something beyond simple body awareness.  It is choosing how to be aware.  It requires someone directing behind the scenes so to speak.

Neuroplasticity and Evolution

To move forward in life you need to understand more deeply where you have come from.  In the same way we need to observe the crossroads between neuroplasticity and evolution so we can see more clearly how we participate in free will.  The evolutionary paradigm states that the human brain has developed reliable, specialized functions that help it navigate all aspects of living (Long, 1996).  Antonio Damasio, professor of neuroscience at USC, stated in his book The Feeling of What Happens that "the brain possesses several different, emotionally directed, problem-solving mechanisms that evolved from past interactions with ancestral environments."  But he goes on also to say that "the way we interact with our current environment continually influences neuronal development."

We may be tied to the past, but neuroplasticity shows us that we influence the evolution of our brain circuitry simply through our intention.  We will always feel the impulses of our unconscious as they register in the body in some way...this is the past, making itself present to you.  But neuroplasticity shows us that directed attention helps us change the strength of the impulses and deep seated feelings that arise from our past.  Doing so helps us create a life that is more present-moment centered, new, and, grounded in our untainted intentions.

Evidence for the Meta-Physical?

The idea that immaterial forces such as intention and awareness can shape the brain runs counter to the view that all of life is physical and that evolution is a series of random unfolding events.  Yet despite the plethora of new information the dominant paradigm of science still suggests that thoughts and actions are reducible to impersonal, microscopic, physical processes.  This paradigm of science cannot explain how brain activity gives rise to consciousness in a physical way, but that does not rule out that there is not a non-material reality.  It only supports the claim that a non-physical reality exists.

Neuroplasticity is proof that the meta-physical can actually interact with and subsequently change the physical reality.  The ability to influence brain circuitry changes through out our life span proves that there is a non-physical reality that underlays all of reality.

The Implications for Human Potential

It is not easy work to change brain circuitry.  The brain's circuitry cannot re-wire itself abruptly.  The brain's circuits have a structure that is weak enough to yield to influence, but strong enough not to yield all at once (Long, 2006).   Neuronal change is something that occurs over longer periods time with continual effort to choose a different way of being.  But regardless, the fact that this phenomena is possible shows us that human potential is essentially limitless.

It is amazing that our creative potential lays latent "within" the un-manifested neural circuits that may potentially come into existence.  Conscious awareness, the force within us that brings about life change, is also the same force that directs neuroplasticity.  It is under our conscious control to open up a new level of being for ourselves, but as I state to all of my clients, you must know what you are unconscious to if you are going overcome the control of your past...and as far as this post is concerned, the neuronal connections created through the ancestral past.

Before we can go more deeply into the personal and social implications of neuroplasticity we need to go deeper into the meta-physical realm.  Quantum physics, the topic of the next post, will show us deeper insights into reality in a way that the dominant paradigm has dismissed.

References

Long W. J.  (2006).  Quantum Theory and Neuroplasticity: Implications for Social Theory.   Journal of Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology, 26, 78-94.

Beauregard, M., Levesque, J., & Bourgouin, P. (2001).  Neural correlates of the conscious self-regulation of emotion.  Journal of Neuroscience, 21, RC165, 1-6.

Damasio, A. R. (1999).  The feeling of what happens.  New York: Harcourt Brace.

Life is Precious: A Humbling Experience

We often take for granted the relationships and privileges of our lives.  We often fail to see how precious life is.  And I, being as human as anyone else, has taken for granted the precious reality that is before me.  Yet, I was reminded this past week how this temporal existence can end abruptly at any time.

For the last 18 months I have shared my life with someone very dear to my heart.  For the last 5 months we have invested a tremendous amount of time, energy, and love into each other as we make our apartment together our home.  This woman is my teammate, my lover, and my best friend.  Yet, I was reminded last week just how precious this relationship really is.

We were at a concert last Friday night In San Francisco.  The atmosphere was fun, the people were spirited, and the music was great.  As my girlfriend stood beside me I realized how far we have come.  I thought to myself, wow, we have been through so much, we have helped each other grow so much, and here we are in what seemed to be the celebration of creating a home on the west coast.  Then about 30 minuets into the show I heard a scary thud just to my right.  My girlfriend had collapsed and lay on the floor unconscious with here eyes open.  She had fainted and as soon as she regained consciousness I got her to a quite spot and got her some water.  We went home shortly there after, but the image of her lying on the floor, unconscious, has stayed with me since that evening.

Thankfully she is fine now.  Yet, her fainting episode had me realizing something about life that I typically skim over.  I started to ask to myself a few humbling questions.  What if she had passed away?  What if she no longer was there for me love her?  What if we could no longer laugh together?  What if she no longer was to lay next to me at night?  These thoughts distributed me terribly.  But what these thoughts also did was make me realize how grateful I am to have her in my life.

Days can go on and on without much change, but sooner or later everything that we have come to love will leave us.  In light of this fact we should choose to be aware that every moment, every day, and every experience we share with those whom we love is a gift.  In this realization we humbly realize how much we love our significant others, our families, and our friends.

As sobering as that thought can be it is important to realize this.  The fact that life is a temporary experience boldly hints to us to be humble and to not take for granted our blessed friendships, romances, families, and experiences.

For those of you who have lost someone very close to you and you morn their loss, remember, they still live on with you.  Morn them as you feel you should and realize that their love for you is what made you believe in yourself.  This is why you feel them in your heart.  Your acknowledgement of their temporary existence [as well as your own] is what enables you to not take for granted this precious life and to sincerely enjoy what it is that is around you.  This is a sense of deep gratefulness.

Gratefulness, as it seems, is the only key to true happiness.  Sometimes happiness is light, sometimes it is bittersweet, sometimes it is all about laughter, but true happiness comes about only from accepting the humbling realization that all moments and relationships are temporary.  But remember this feeling of gratefulness is not a thought.  It is a feeling you grow into.  We may hurt like hell before we feel this bittersweet peace, but we eventually move that way.  And when we do, when our emotional storms clear, we will feel a greater resonance with creation itself.  Death humbly teaches us how to be grateful for those who came into our lives as well as those who are currently in our lives.

A Brief Guide to Stepping Into Your Power

"If you are doing something for someone else's approval, you may as well not do it" - Neale Donald Walsch

Stepping into your power is all about serving yourself.  This may sound overly self-indulgent at first, but when you go deeply into it you realize that this is the ultimate expression of your soul.

Do you do live your life based on what someone else thinks you should do?  This happens all to often in our culture.  What we end up doing is that we give up our autonomy and our power.  We end up living the life that another envisions for us, thus dismantling our ability to follow our own intuition.  We may not realize it, but at the unconscious level we build all sorts of emotions that perpetuate this submission of personal power.

Who do we often live our lives for?  We submit our power when we attempt to live based on how our social circle thinks we should live and or when we adhere to the norms of society without questioning them.  If those important figures in your life taught you how to listen to yourself so that you can guide yourself through life you were blessed.  If the influences around you told you what to do and never supported your ability to choose and decide for yourself you may have created a way of relating to the world that is submissive in nature.  Furthermore it could be emotionally painful to go against "their wishes" as you are met with scrutiny, criticism, and shame by the important people in your life.

Stepping out the of grip of another's expectation is essential for self-evolution.  This process requires great courage and strength.  When you step into your own power you may be met with opposition.  Those who once had control of you will feel like they are losing you.   Their control of you is what they need to feel secure.  This is the illusion that helps them feel as if they doing the "right" thing by you.  But when you step into your own sense of self what happens is two things:

1)  You start to enhance your intuition.  You enhance your ability to listen to your higher self.  This will inevitably bring you a sense of joy because you live in close alignment with your life's purpose.   

2)  You start to teach others [if they are open to it].  By breaking the cycle of emotional submission you show others that they to can live for themselves and not for what others told them "they had to do."  This is how we help society evolve by lifting the weight of past karma that has had families, communities, and societies, living out the prescribed desires of generations past [which typically is always fear based - for in these cases we live life by "doing what we have to do" even if that means submitting and suppressing our ability to feel the consequences of our way of life {as opposed to not being afraid to see things as they are and build our lives and society accordingly on what the compassion in our hearts tells us we must do for all of life}].

So how do I do this? 

1) Draw conscious awareness into all of your actions.  This is not easy.  It requires a lot of focused attention into the now.  You need to assess whether the things you do in your life are about fulfilling your destiny or someone else's.  Did you take that job because it would make your parents happy?  Did you move to that place because another told you to?  Did you marry that person over another person because that person was more acceptable in the eyes of your social circle?  Again, it takes great courage to ask these questions.  But this process is essential to step into your power.  Yet, realize there were no mistakes.  Every "missed step" is a learning experience.  So question and assess your life.  Is this what you want?

2) Let go of any resentment and move forward.  Anger will only anchor you to the past.  See that those whom tried to control you only did so because this is what they thought was the best thing for you.  In a way this is how they showed love and care for you.  This was what was done onto them so they repeated only what they knew.

3) Meditate. Enhance the ways in which you communicate with yourself.  The language of your soul is subtle and can only be heard when the clutter of the mind does not get in the way.  The mind when used without being anchored to the past can be a great transmitter of the soul, but what we often do is identify ourselves with our thoughts and we end up living a life through these identifications.  These identifications anchor us to the past...and living through the past, based on yours and another's idea as to who you should be, diminishes your ability to step into your power.  Your power resides in the now.  Essentially, you are not who you were yesterday.  You are who you are now.

4) Realize that life is ever-evolving.  There is no end point.  Realize that part of the vision we have for our lives is about controlling how it will turn out.  This control, based in fear, diminishes our ability to live consciously in the now.

5) Surrender your personal will to divine will.  At the core of your being you are divine and you allude any definition.  You are not the thought about who you think you should be or become.  Identification, a process passed down by how others think you should be, divides yourself from the state of grace that is inherently who you are.  You are not the illusion of your ego and the false ideas that you think you should uphold.  This only creates a sense of expectation that has you chasing something that may never be.  When you live a life without expectation, without an idea as to who you should be, you will become aware of a voice within you that has you knowing what to do at all moments.  This is how the divine communicates with you.  This is what developing your intuition is all about.

When we become aware of how we typically live our life based on external factors we are given the power to step into our true nature.  This is what I a mean about serving yourself.  You learn that serving the non-self is what brings you harmony and peace.  The ego-self derives its sense of self from living out external expectations as to what we or others think is best for us.  The latter process leads you into the land of illusions and conditions that weaken our ability to go within and develop our intuition.  The former process, living from the non-self, has us living without expectation and has us clearly rooted into the present moment.

Very few people, if any, have mastered it.  But, this is the life that will essentially bring deep peace to ourselves and to our planet.  It is a process that we step into over time.  Shedding the layers of the fear driven life we live may take lifetimes to accomplish, but without a conscious effort to live a life for our non-selves, not for our circles, and not for the society as it is now, we start to push forward this process and evolve at both the personal level and the social level.  For when we live a life from within we will always choose and make decisions that have a sense of deep compassion for ourselves and for the world around us.  Because at this point we will feel on the inside that all is one.

What is it like to work with me?

In Summary:  

People seek a coaching relationship for different reasons.  Some prefer goal-oriented work, others desire a forum to be heard, and some seek insight.  Yet others want to do more in depth work so they can understand and dismantle old behavioral patterns that are no longer working for them.

I intuitively understand my clients and I understand their psychology quickly.  My education helps me put a framework around the work I do so I do not waste their time.  My experience helps me know what questions to ask you [and when] so that you can get to the root of our unique psychology.  I do all this with a sincere interest to get to know you and a passion to help you grow.  Inevitably you are in the driver seat, but it is the work we do together that brings you greater control over your life in an effective and long lasting way.  I view personal well-being as something that can always be enhanced.

Types of Coaching:

Consultant Coaching: I can be an outlet for you that is separate from both your professional and personal circles.  I can be someone you can form an intimate working relationship with that helps you navigate your life.  Sometimes we just need someone to talk to.

Goal Oriented Coaching: Sometimes we need someone to hold us accountable to our goals and visions.  Whether the goal is personal or professional I will encourage and motivate you as well as help you see alternative perspectives.  It is easier to stay determined and on course when you work with a coach.

Dynamic Coaching: "With insight you will know what to surrender to"

The work I do with people helps them understand how their sub-conscious mind, the reservoir of their emotional body, influences how they feel, how they behave, and why they have particular impulses.  I do not talk in these terms with people [unless they want to], but I ask the right questions helping them hone in on the aspects of the emotional body that is holding them in a state of discontent.

What is the "emotional body?"  The emotional body is who we feel we are.  Yet it is often these emotional identifications that diminish our ability to harmonize with the flow of life.  

From an early age we were taught how to relate to the world.  Before we could consciously interpret the world around us we developed a way we relate to it.  Our parents and or our legal guardians taught us how to see the world.  As we got older it is not that we necessarily became the same people they did or that we developed the same beliefs, but we developed ways of relating to the world in an emotionally similar way.  Now add in traumatic life experiences and the influence of our very unconscious society and we all have been impacted to some degree to not have control over our emotional self. 

To a degree our minds and our feelings have taken control of us.  And to a degree we have become unconscious.  This is something that effects everybody and it is endemic of our time.

Conscious control is our natural state.  Conscious awareness is inherently joyful for it frees us from the control of our emotions and our restless minds.

Gaining insight into the way we operate allows us to understand what it is within us that we need to let go of and accept.  We cannot analyze ourselves into greater emotional health, but analysis can help us understand our defenses and illusory forms of self that limit our ability to be fully awoken.  Inevitably though it is full acceptance of who we have become that allows us to move into who we actually are.  This is how we liberate ourselves from personal patterns that really never served us to begin with.

We can develop a plan that has us working with this emotional body so that it no longer influences you to the severity that it had in the past.  This usually involves employing techniques that help us catch and understand these impulsive feelings as they occur.  I employ a self-created technique that integrates the modalities of mindfulness, DBT, analysis, with the knowledge of particular spirituality based philosophies.

Couples Coaching: This type of coaching, typically done in person, creates a safe place for each person to be heard so that we can understand why there may be trouble within the relationship.  Healing comes in witnessing how the past is still alive and how it is getting in the way of the two people being with each other in harmony.  This is one of my favorite ways to work with people.

In Sum:  All of those who choose to work with me benefit.  Everyone is different.  Not one formula can be applied to all people.  It is a work in progress.  It is a process that evolves as you evolve.  But one thing I can guarantee...it will benefit you.

We Need to Do More Than Believe

"We gotta do more than believe if we want to see the world change" - Dave Matthews [DMB Inspiration]

It is a beautiful day.  The sun shines, the bird sings, and the trees sway.  I dream of the day where my potential children can walk upon the same meadows that I did in delight.  Yet I fear that if we do not act now to change the way things are this dream will be only that, a dream.

The ecosystem, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, is under massive attack.  The north pole is melting at an accelerating rate [Source].  This is going intensify weather patterns.  The open water in the north will absorb more solar radiation, significantly increasing the rate of climate change.  The Siberian permafrost is disappearing, which will send greater plumes of methane gas, of which absorbs solar radiation 20X more than CO2 [Youtube Video].  James Hansen, the head of NASA's Goddard Institute for Space Studies has warned that if we keep warming the planet it will be a recipe for global disaster.  He estimated that the safe level for CO2 in the atmosphere is no more than 350ppm.  The current level of CO2 is 385ppm and climbing.  He states that these levels already guarantee terrible consequences, even if we act immediately to cut carbon emissions to zero.

The engines of climate change, climate scientists have warned, will soon create a domino effect that could thrust the Earth into a chaotic state for thousands of years before it regains equilibrium.  Chris Hedges states in his book The World as it is that "we have fallen prey to the illusion that we can modify and control our environment, that human ingenuity ensures that inevitability of human progress, and that our secular god of science will save us.  Clive Hamilton, author of the book Requiem for a Species, stated that "the intoxicating belief that we can conquer all has come up against a greater force, the Earth itself."

Sometimes facing up to the truth is hard, but no longer can we hide behind our belief that technology will save us.  No longer can we hide behind the political belief that our government will act with urgency to protect human life and the ecosystem.  The government, run by lobbyists, who are in turn run by corporations inevitably write legislation in this country.  The decisions about the fate of the planet and human civilization are in the hands of people who are morally and emotionally numb.  Is BP's Tony Hayward someone we can trust with our lives [Tony Hayward Quotes]?  People such as this, those whom run politics in the age of corporate totalitarianism, are driven by a craven desire to accumulate wealth at the expense of human life.   Only we can save ourselves.

Dave Matthews is right.  We need to do more than believe.  We need to have more than the belief that God will intercede.  Those reading this, those who want to be free, know it in the hearts that we need to get together and stand up for what is needed.  We need to take the power back.  Those in power will not just give it to us and Barack Obama will not save us.  We need to stand up for ourselves and take control.  Rebellion occurs the moment that the present reality is worse than the unknown future.  If we continue on this path, submitting our power and voice to those who currently lead, we will see a certain future of ecosystem collapse.  So I ask you...can we turn this around?

I do not have all the answers.  I need you!  We all need you!  This is not just about buying green products, this is not just about diminishing your usage of fossil fuels.  These things help, but what we need to do is come together and take the power back.  Chris Hedges makes a point when he states that "if the hegemony of the corporate state is not soon broken we will soon descend into a technologically enhanced age of barbarism."  Is this what we want for ourselves, for our children, and for the planet?  Humbly ask yourself this question.  But do not fear and do not let this overwhelm you, because you are more powerful than you ever imagined.  Especially when you act as one giant family with those who feel as you do!

I write this because I inherently love all of you.  I care about you even though we have not met.  I want you and your family to live in peace and harmony.  But I realize that if we do not act now what I hope for you and I will stay as it is, a dream.

Social Evolution is About Personal Evolution

In the same way that we must question our personal intentions and behaviors to grow so to do we need to question the social intentions and behaviors of our current society.  The two are never separate.

Growth and moving forward begins the moment we summon the courage to create change in our lives.  Courage is a universal phenomena.  It is something we all muster up in times of challenge.  The challenges and travails we endure as individuals we also endure as a collective society and no longer do I see personal growth as solely "personal."  It is our narcissism that keeps us solely focused on our individual troubles.  Yet I believe this narcissism is born from the standards of our cultural ethic.  It is not something we can really blame ourselves about.  Yet without awareness of this we fail to see that our individual problems stem from the fact that our cultural ethic condones a life of isolation, fear for survival, the need for comparison, as well as a multitude of other ways of being that diminish our quality of life.  And in the same way that we are numb to the disastrous effects that the corporate state is having on the planet, so to are we numb to the fact that this corporate state and the life it espouses is detrimental to us as individuals.

Our cultural ethic tells us we never have enough and that the only way to secure our personal need is to compete against each other.  This fear driven ethic is simply not working anymore.  We may not see that there is a way out.  And if we are wealthy enough we find ways to not have empathy for those who are suffering.  But without questioning and inquiring into the possibility of a new way of life, at both the individual level and at the social level, we condone a spiritual death that eventually consumes the entire soul of humanity.

What I am attempting to do with my writing is to encourage you to think for yourself and question standard cultural assumptions.  For example, question to yourself, what is "progress" at the social level?  Is progress all about how we create greater sums of profit?  But hasn't profiteering off the destruction of our ecosystems had devastating global consequences?  The dominant cultural ethic suggests to us that our advancements in technology, medicine, and production out weight the consequences of their proliferation.  Yet, a race that is not mature enough to use advanced technology destroys itself.  A race that does not allow its greatest medical achievements to reach everyone, because it is a for-profit industry, leaves millions bankrupt and or dead prematurely.  We need to look at this reality if we are to grow as individuals.

What ever happened to the idea that progress is the creation of a communal ethic that creates harmony out of the empathy we feel for each other?

Real individual growth is all about being aware to the fact that our lives are inseparable and thus creating a society that allows for harmony between our inner and outer realities.  Without questioning ourselves and without questioning society we fail to grow.  The two are not separate.  Let me give you a quick example.  Anthropologists that have spent intimate time with some of the few nomadic tribes left on the planet have found that these people never harm each other.  There is no rape, no robbery, and no murder.  The reason why is that the tribe instinctively knows it is one organism.  Everyone depends on each other for their individual survival.

Given the state of our world as it is now we can no longer afford to be afraid to look at the hard truth.

It is becoming overwhelming apparent that our society is in the midst of big challenges.  Here in a America we have staggering inequality, a real unemployment rate over 16% [source], and the future of our current economic infrastructure is in imminent danger of collapsing.  The corporate elite who cajoled the public, without a voice, into bailing out their institutions with taxpayer subsidies created a situation that devastated the middle and lower classes.  The elite who control political and economic affairs knows the system is broken.  They are using all tactics possible to accumulate the lasts bits of wealth and dismantle public power as they go out to create their untouchable gated oasis.  We live in a totalitarian regime with a faceless dictator.  Unregulated markets make monsters out of men, but yet the real problem is our apathy that condones this way of life.

Chris Hedges wrote that "cultures that do not recognize that human life and the natural world have a sacred dimension, an intrinsic value beyond monetary value, cannibalize themselves until they die."  In the same way that we must seek personal insights to overcome our unique personal challenges so to do we also need to seek social insight into the way we live.  Again, as we fail to see that the collective social problem is our personal problem we are creating a future that is not in the favor of the majority of people.  The excess and narcissistic indulgence that we enjoy now comes at a major cost when we will no longer be able to afford the security we need to survive in the future as the integrity of our planet degrades.

Spiritual and emotional work is not just personal.  It is primarily social.  Imagine asking Martin Luther King or Ghandi what was important to them.  It was not their individual gains that led to personal well being, but rather it was the joy and sense of accomplishment they received from their involvement in pushing society towards justice for all.  When we continue to allow those in power to keep "business as usual" without protesting for what is "right" justice and equality continue to decay.  To see the truth can be a scary thing.  But without knowledge and insight we will not grow, but rather, we will cannibalize ourselves into spiritual death.

St. Augustine stated that the rebel knows that hope has two beautiful daughters, anger and courage - anger at the way things are and the courage to see they do not remain as they are.  We are at a point now that individual growth is short sighted if it does not account for the well-being of others and a healthy functioning planet.  Do not expect any government to fix these problems.  These problems are not exterior to any of us.  They are within us.  And only with radical courage to see things as they are and a determined collective of voices to make change can we grow as both individuals and as a collective society.  We are undoubtedly one.  And the challenges we face as individuals, in a profound way, arise because we have lost sight of establishing a society that puts the gains of the community first as opposed to the gains of the individual.

How Celebrity Culture is Destroying Who We Are

 We no longer seek community as the most important, but rather that we, the self-proclaimed celebrity, as the most important.

We live in a world that celebrates image over substance and because of this we have lost sight of who we are.  We are bombarded daily with images that celebrate vanity, debauchery, and acts of senselessness.  Through the corporate mass media we are subliminally told what to think, how to interpret the way society operates, what is "right," what is "cool," and how to keep from looking old and unhip.

Since when did Kim Kardashian, the cast of the Jersey Shore, and the endless scandals we hear in the tabloids become more important than seeking truth and meaning?  Why do these headlines garner more attention than the unrelenting destruction of the Earth by the fossil fuel industry, the brutality of war all over this planet, and the overwhelming poverty found everywhere [even in America]?

Why did it become socially taboo to question events such as 9/11, the presence of american troops in the middle east, the possibility that the pillars of our society may be run by a corporate elite, or that our way of life may actually be destroying the vitality of the planet we depend on.  I think it is because celebrity culture has us being afraid to step out and take a stand.  Maybe celebrity culture has us so addicted to their "images" that things of meaning and substance become boring?

I think it is that we care so much what the "other person" may think about us that we seek to adopt a way of being, prescribed by celebrity and mass media, that makes it easy for us to "fit in."  It is the easiest way.  No longer do we need to think about our existence and how we should be.  We have sought image over substance.  And because of this we have lost touch with ourselves.  No longer do I care about how I will be received in this blog or in person.  I actually think it will bring me closer to my true identity.

Modern culture rationalizes existence through the piece meal filter it is feed by major media.  Do you really think that we ever hear the full story?  The full story of any story is never black or white.  It is complex, dynamic, and involves an array of motives and emotions that cannot be summed up by one catchy headline.  If you want to know the full story shut off the television and go outside.  Gather information.  Talk to your neighbors.  Talk with a homeless person and seek to understand their story.  Seek to understand the motives of the elite and politicians.  Yet also don't forget to nurture yourself for a while and listen to the birds, listen to children laughing, and to the wind as it rustles past your ears.  You can learn more from within yourself than you can from any other source.

"The Fantasy of celebrity culture is not designed simply to entertain.  It is designed to drain us emotionally, confuse us about our identity, make us blame ourselves for our predicament, condition us to chase illusions of fame and happiness, and keep us from fighting back." - Chris Hedges

The Universe Within You

"In oneself lies the entire world." - J. Krishnamurti

We witness the cyclonic movement within earthly phenomena, solar systems, galaxies, and even within our bodies.  Think of the hurricanes, the galactic orbits of celestial bodies, and the atomic structures that make up our very being.  The collective of all of this, the universe, is also in perpetual motion.

This universal movement has me questioning something very elemental to life.  Could it be that life is nothing but pure potential and creates itself along the influence of natural laws, of which, may even be under constant evolution?  It gets me thinking that over the span of eternity that anything is possible.

We are composed of the same elements that the stars are made of.  Are we then not intrinsically tied to the cosmos?  I pose that we are.  I contemplate that this connection is so grand that it evades linguistic description, but there still resides a yearning within me to know my roots so I attempt to dive deeper.

So far I have stated the idea that life at the universal level as well as at the human level is all about movement.  I have also stated that movement has the potential to be expressed in infinite ways.  The life of Gaia [the earth] and human civilization, both distinct "layers" of universal movement, exhibit their own rhythms and cycles.  Yet all phenomena is in some way connected.  Consider how astrological and human experience intertwine and impact each other.  How about the intense energy we feel within us during a mercury retrograde?


Each "layer" of experience is a system of its own.  There is the human experience, the animal experience, the geologic experience, the solar experience, the galactic experience, etc,.  How egocentric are we to think that the Sun, the creator of our very own solar system, does not "feel" its existence in some way?  To say no would diminish our own reflective capacity.  For we are the Sun.  And the Sun is what gives us life and the ability to perceive.

Observe the way our atomic structures move.  They orbit around a structure.  Also consider the relative space between atomic structures.  Just like the cosmos, the make up of the human body is mostly empty space.  It is almost like we have microscopic universes within our bodies.  I know these ideas are extremely abstract, but who is to say that the universe does not exist within us?  Maybe there is no start or end in creation and that all of life travels in and out of each other?  Could this be the etheric level of existence that fringe scientists talk about?  Could it be that all of life is connected in the "ethers?"  Size and shape is only relative and who is to say that we are not mini-gods co-creating within our own bodily universes?  And if this is "true" how does this impact the way we relate to life as a whole?


The energy we radiate into the world becomes directed by our own inner awareness and intention as to how we choose to live.  If all of life is connected why would we constantly choose to live a life that diminishes the vitality of the world around us [and also within us].  Our way of life is devouring our world.

Would it not be in our best interest to intend for outcomes that lead to symbiotic relationships with the world as a whole?  

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Gregg Braden on empathy, energy, and healing

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All of nature is a storehouse of galactic energy that traces its roots back to the same source.  That source has been what humans have been pondering and trying to understand since the dawn of their awakening.  I like to call this source spirit.  Call it what you will, it is just a word.  But it is the experiential realization of source that is what will bring you in alignment with what a symbiotic relationship would be like with the world around you.  Just like your body has a desire for you to nourish it so to does the world around you have a desire to be nourished.

When you gain an awareness that feels empathy for all of life you have connected with source energy.  To what degree does this empathy for life impact the way we choose to live?

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Yes, there are "natural laws" in the universe, but change is the only constant.  Even "god" is changing all the time.  If "god" is the all that is why would "god" not intend change so that it could know itself at deeper and deeper levels?

Imagine what source [god] feels like during the birth of a new galaxy  ... 

At this magnitude of size our existence is seemingly non-existent.  Yet we can feel the utter immensity of the cosmos.  This is because we are the cosmos. 

Maybe god intended that life could be innately connected so that god [the universe] could experience itself through all things [including you!]?  Maybe the same seemingly infinite cosmos that we stare upon on a clear night also exists within you?  As they say...as above so below...

Be who it is at the core of your being...when you do this you will find yourself very close to nature, to community, and to your fellow sentient being.  We are all offspring of the cosmos herself...and the cosmos knows only what is natural...to just be exactly who you are...

From Fear to Love. The Beginnings of an Awakening

There is a life waiting for all of us.  A new life.  A life not dictated by our fears and anxieties, but instead a life created by our love for life and all of its creations.  

The only thing that is stopping us from creating harmony is fear.  Fear is a global cultural norm.  It is systemic throughout humanity.  For example, we fear that if we cannot pay our bills that we will be cast onto the streets.  We also fear nature and so we fortify our environments and destroy mass ecosystems in the name of profit.  It is scientific fact that we are in the midst of the greatest mass extinction in 65 million years [Source].  We are over consuming the earths resources to keep "business as usual" and to "pay our bills."  So "normal" is this fear that we do not care to question its dominance over our lives and how it dictates economic and social activity.

And what about our social fears?  Sometimes we are so afraid to speak what we feel to our friends, our partners, and our families, that we suppress what we feel in order to keep the status quo.  We often keep ourselves quiet when there is such a vast array of emotional intelligence within us that should be shared.  We fear we will hurt or loose the relationships which we cherish so we stay silent.  We are afraid to be alone, but what we fail to see is that isolation and aloneness are only creations of the mind.  Our disconnection from life, from nature, and from spirit, is directly tied to the dominant cultural paradigm of fear based actions [or inaction].

Adherence to cultural norms based in fear diminishes our sensitivity to life.  We see that it is only adaptable to suppress our sensitivity.  It is only normal we say.  We must secure our livelihood, we must protect ourselves, and keep the economy "growing."  But can we not see that our fear driven culture is consuming not only the physical world at a rate that is not sustainable, but it is consuming our minds and diminishing our ability to be love, to be light, and to be connected to spirit.

This is as far as I will take it.  This entry is not intended to be a negative one.  It was written to shed awareness.  And only when we are aware can we make changes.  Despite the statements above everyone whom I meet and spend time with I have an inherent love for.  The reason why is because I see love within them.  We are all family in this life.  And it is this life of dualistic proportions that gives us the opportunity to even know what a "more harmonious life" would be.  It is this current society that allows us to see how we can grow.

Awareness of how fear influences our lives both at the individual level and the social level [for they are both one] brings us closer to the awakening that this world is crying out for [as well as our hearts... again, they are both one of the same].  It take courage to see the truth, but in your courage to see things as they are your reward is compassion and a sensitivity to life that will open your heart to the love that is all around you.  Be not focused then in the mind that dwells in fear, but instead take shelter in the faith that the connection to the spirit is real.  

On Isolation, Humility, and Connection

Every now and then feelings of loneliness can take over.  At times we may feel isolated and alone in a world that feels so separate from us.  We may feel loneliness when we part from a significant relationship, or when we move to a new town and don't know anyone, or when someone close to us dies, or we may simply feel it and not know why.  At the core of the feeling of loneliness is isolation.  We should not try to change this feeling because it is a natural part of the human experience.  Without it we would not know isolations opposite.

When we let any aspect of the human experience to be as it is, without trying to change it, we give our selves the opportunity for life to teach us humility.

Distracting ourselves from any type of unpleasant emotion may push it out of conscious awareness, but this unpleasant emotion will remain in the sub-conscious gnawing at us in some unseen way.  We may then start to feel these emotions creep up at some later date and not know why we feel depressed.  It is best to deal with things as they arise.

When we run away from our feelings we run away from ourselves and when we run away from ourselves we lower our capacity to be the fully present beacon of consciousness that we inherently are.

There is no doubt that at times in my life I have felt a seemingly unrelenting loneliness.  When I was 18 my life long best friend died peacefully in his sleep.  For almost a years time I would distract myself in unhealthy ways to placate the feelings I had brewing inside of me.  I questioned the purpose of life and was filled with an intense anger.  "Why God did my best friend have to leave this world so early?!"  Yet in this experience I gained a deep sense of humility for myself and for life.  The passing of Matthew's life is something I will go into greater detail at some later date.

What I learned brought me to a humbling and paradoxical realization.  I found out that only in the awareness of my isolation was I able to start to feel a profound connection to the world around me.  When I let go of the need to be connected to others to placate my loneliness I started to feel a natural connection.  It was something that was at first so subtle it was like the whisper of spirit, but when I tuned into it I felt it coming out of all living things.

We can tune into it by being humbly aware of the gift of life and the precious opportunity we have being here for just a short few moments in the landscape of eternity.

So even despite the loneliness I feel at times...I know that life is with me, that spirit is all around me, and that even the stranger is family.  Nature too, has its own way of communication.  And only when I allow myself to feel can I connect to the emotional matrix of life that is all around me.  Yes, we should be selective to what energy we want to pick up, but a compassionate and humble heart will always attract you to just the "right" people and places.

Looking Within to See the Light

Despite what you may believe you are perfect just as you are.

What is it that influences the way we relate to ourselves?  Understanding this is vital to creating harmony and peace.  I am not saying we need to be questioning ourselves constantly, but it is important to periodically check in with ourselves and draw our awareness inward.  Without bringing awareness to the seemingly automatic sub-conscious mind we may never realize the perfection of who and what we are.

Are we conscious of what is affecting our mood and our worldview?

Could it be that the accumulation of all past experience strongly influences the way we experience life?  I am not saying that we are not unique and in some way untainted by the past, we are, but how strongly does the past presently exist within you?

Understanding the past and how it affects our perception is key to understanding how we feel and experience life.  When we witness how our relation to the past influences our reality we become aware of our selves in a profound way.  This is the art of self-meditation.

When we give ourselves time to be inwardly aware we start the process of transcending old patterns and belief structures that no longer serve us.

How do we come to understand what it is that holds us ignorant to our perfection?  What is that we should look into?  

We need to look inside and question?

Does our way of thinking enable us to be inwardly aware and sensitive to ourselves?

Does our way of thinking allow us to see each other as we are or do our thought structures create a reality before us that is based in some pre-conceived notion?  If so, does this limit our ability to see things as they are and be grounded in this moment?

If a life goal of yours is to be at peace with yourself it is important that you start to assess these questions.  I myself must do this on a regular basis.  If I do not the past with all of the ingrained modes of discrimination begin to shape my perception of not only the world around me, but also, and more importantly, of myself.  If I do not allow myself to be aware of how I think or behave I default to a way of relating to people or things that is comes up from my past.  In these instances I act on thought forms that are not really my own [because I learned them from others, mainly those who raised me] and I mentally laminate them on to others and other things to witness.  Yet I realize that I do not want to live through the filter of thought forms that are rooted in the past.  Ultimately, I will not find my peace this way.

When we perceive things as they are in their purest form we witness things without definition.  Words and concepts may help us navigate life, but they only do so in the relative sense and not in the ultimate sense.  The ultimate acknowledgment is that life is boundless and cannot be deified.  You yourself cannot be defined and you are amazing beyond any belief or thought you have about yourself.

This realization occurs in the moment when we inwardly witness that we are perfect even with our "self-perceived faults".  We are often hard on ourselves for not being what we think we should be.  But witness...that this is just a thought and not the actual reality as it is.

The thing is, only when we do accept ourselves for who we are, faults and all, do we begin to transcend that which holds us back in self-judgment.  Your "faults" are as perfect as you are.  Without them you would not know which way to grow.  Therefore, be humbly aware of how you relate to the present moment and forgive whatever it may be that holds you in a pattern of being ignorant to your perfection.

To Live in Faith or to Live in Fear...That is The Question

"Every missed step is a step closer...there are no mistakes"

Moving cross country has humbled and challenged me in a way I never would have imagined.  Being in a place where you have nothing to relate to strips you to your rawest core.  In the absence of the aspects of life that once gave me comfort I am forced to confront everything that I feel about myself.  I am beginning to witness that as I seek to see things about my old environment in my new environment what I am actually doing is seeking some sort of comfort or security tied the past.  Thus, to some degree, I am rejecting the present moment.

When I lived in New York everything was familiar to me.  Every street, every skyline, every person seemed familiar to me, even if I did not know them.  I was apart of the community.  For heavens sakes I had grown up there, my family and friends were there.  I felt rooted in the knowing of familiarity.  Yet here now, in the absence of everything I know I am forced to deal with myself in the absence of all of those psychological comforts.  It is humbling to witness how engrained thoughts, thoughts that I believed supported me and gave me a sense of self-worth, are actually debilitating me in this new experience.

My ego is scrambling to find some sense of familiarity.  It is producing all these sorts of automatic thoughts within me in attempts to create the situation it was used to.  In a way my ego wants me to be miserable here so that the ego can find itself back in New York where it believes all is familiar and comfortable.  But oh, how little does my ego want to remember how unsatisfied I was in New York.  And how short sighted is my ego when it feels it wants to recreate the past, something that is known and familiar, to satiate its desire for comfort.

The ego wants so much, but what it wants more than anything is a re-creation of the past.  It knows that in the past it existed, and in my case I existed without much trouble.  It seems as if the ego has created this sort of addiction within me to make sure that I know that "everything will be fine."  Yet, in the present moment, the only one true moment, "fine" becomes an experience, not something to psychologically hold onto.  Maybe if I can get out of my head I can realize that everything is fine no matter where I am or what is going on.  My higher self knows that it does not need any re-creation of the past in order to feel safe.  Peace and contentment are here now...if I can only get out of my way and fully surrender to this moment without hoping for something contrary to what is happening all around me.

I now know that I came to a new place to confront everything within me that has been hidden from me.  In moving here it was not my conscious intention to go through this process, but I believe the universe and my higher self knew this all along.  This is my faith talking.  And although it may feel as if I have taken steps backward, because not everything is all peaches and happiness, I know that I have taken the right steps.  Because from here I am forced to deal with myself in a way that I never would have been able to in New York, where everything was "known."

In actuality nothing was ever "known" in New York.  That was the illusion that temporality placated the ego while a deepening sense of dissatisfaction was brewing with me.  This deep sense of dissatisfaction arouse out of the sense that my immersion into the known, into the familiar, and into the perception of what I thought I was all about actually pushed me further and further away from my real self.

I still know I have a lot to experience and learn here.  A lot to witness within myself and a lot to shed...but one thing that is helping me deal with uneasy emotions is to ask myself ..."does this feeling arise from spirit...the aspect of self that will propel me to contentment and self-knowledge, or does this feeling arise from the ego...the sense of self that wants what is actually not present?  This is a very humbling question for me because I realize that I am not as "evolved" as I thought I may have been.  In this relative world I then praise myself for being humble and for feeling what may not feel so good.

The more I reject this present moment the more misery I create within myself.  The more I step into the now the more liberated and content I become.  So I must choose...and remind myself...that no matter where I am, all is in right order...

So the next step is simple...yet not so easy... How will I create this moment of now?  Will I choose to live in faith and know that all that is before me is in perfect order, blessing me with the experiences that will enhance my growth as a person...

OR

Will I live in fear in the debilitating effort to defend myself from a life that I feel has not been fair to me...


The latter has us chasing the illusion we create in our minds while the former grounds us in the only thing that is real...the divine beauty of the now...

The power to choose is mine [as well as yours]...

Knowing Yourself

To live completely, wholly, every day as if it were a new loveliness, there must be dying to everything of yesterday, otherwise you live mechanically, and a mechanical mind can never know what love is or what freedom is.  - Krishnamurti

It seems to me that we come to know each other only in reflection to the experiences we have with people, places, and things.  It would then seem plausible to think that we may come to know ourselves in a habitual manor when the people, places, and things of our lives become customary.  But what happens when everything around us changes?  What happens when we no longer witness our reflection the same way?  This begs the question, can we ever truly understand ourselves?

I have not yet reached my final destination and settled into my new home on the west coast, but as I find my self here in Texas, witnessing my emersion into new people and experiences, I feel as if it may have been possible that I really never understood my self.  What I mean to say is that while I was in New York and everything was customary I became tied to the definitions I held and thoughts I had about myself.  In a static environment this happens to us all.

So what do I mean by understanding myself?  Well let me first clarify.  I do feel that there is always a timeless aspect to all of us that transcends all the self declarations of who we think we are.  This is the knower from within that guides us and pushes us to develop our innate skills, but witnessing this aspect of ourself does not mean that we understand ourselves.  For example, you may be a great cook, but that does not define your existence.  Cooking is an act.  Not something definite. because the act is always changing and evolving.  Just like the fact that tomorrow is always a mystery so too is the person we are developing into.  And it seems that this absolute sense of self is as transitory and mysterious as the future.

Our fears typically revolve around the unknowable and it seems that what causes us our greatest anxiety is change.  But change on the exterior of our lives is necessary in order for us to come to witness different aspects of who we are.  I am not saying I do not fear change, but in spite of it I must face it in order to grow.  I feel that we can all relate to this principle.  This is the space where liberation occurs and peace is found.  In letting go and letting change occur naturally.

So if we become liberated by facing change head on without fear we loose the identifications we have built up about ourselves because we no longer resist what is occurring even in spite that it may run counter to what we wish to experience or what we think we should be experience.  This becomes a peaceful experience when we no longer define ourselves with the thoughts we have about ourselves.  So when you feel like you no longer understand yourself, do not become confused, you are moving closer to understanding your true nature as the timeless and undefinable creature that you are.

This is a life long process that has no end, but liberation is not an end, it is a journey.  So understanding yourself becomes as mysterious and divine as life itself.  This is the beauty of life and the eternal experience that creation has set up before us.  This is why the healers talk about letting go.  New experiences and challenges help you do just that.  So why not take the internal road less traveled and push your boundaries?  You have your whole life to do it.  And you have your whole life to die to your yesterdays and live anew today.  This is more refreshing than you may have imagined.


Image created by Willow Arlenea: The Visionary Art of Willow Arlenea