Forgiving the Past

Not all relationships are easy. Often times challenging relationships come into our lives to help us understand who we are. We come to experience ourselves by relating to these relationships. In regards to a challenging relationship, if we work hard enough (and if it is right) we move further into our own essence when we accept and forgive those who may have troubled us.  When we enable ourselves to integrate the understanding of another into our own sense of awareness we gain perspective.  With this gained perceptive we are then given the choice to have empathy for those who do challenge us.

I am only beginning to realize how much I have stagnated emotionally because I have allowed myself to stay identified with a particular set of emotions.  I felt they were justified given my past...but I question myself...how long do I want to stay tethered to the past?

I come to this post in a time in my life were I feel I am starting to forgive someone in my life, who at times, released his anger on me in ways that I found unforgivable. This person is my father. And as I work with the past lately, really work with it, and allow it to be felt...I found that I can actually come to an understanding as to why my father acted in such a way while I grew up. This has enabled me to feel a sense of forgiveness for him and has given me the courage to talk with my father in a way that I never felt I could have. Yes, we are extremely different people, yet we love, and we love passionately. We express this love in very very different ways.

I have seen that his anger has resulted from a deep fear he had.  Simply put, he just wants us all to be "ok." To him that is his way of loving.  And sometimes securing what he needed in order to have his family be "ok" meant that he became full of stress and anger.  I may not agree with everything he has done, but he did it in the only way he knew how too. The actions that I deemed, even as a young child, as very damaging, I am finally allowing myself see that they occurred as they only would because of who he was and how he dealt with his emotions.

I am now beginning to see how this all has related to my emotional development and self-worth. I realize I am only peering beneath the surface of a very deep matrix of emotions, yet I allow myself to stand humble and be here now. Not judging were I stand, only observing it and accepting it.  I am far from perfect in my own trails of self-development.  But here I am, humbly accepting my faults, my prejudices, bouts of anger, sadness, anxiety, and frustration. At least I feel courageous enough to believe I am accepting things as they are...

It seems though, that as I work through my stuff it allows me to open up to people, in this case my father, in a way that is not only healing for myself, but also for others. Maybe we can humble ourselves too see that the world is not necessarily attacking us, but merely that the world is afraid...afraid to loose its foundation, its security, and its glimmering experience of love...

The Movement of Conciousness

You cannot force consciousness to be conscious. It must first dwell within the realm of the unconscious. Consciousness is a movement, it is your enlightenment. Yes, intention brings you inline with consciousness so that the process flows...so that one becomes aware, but if we are to try and force consciousness, force it through will, we simply are left with the experience of forcing consciousness. What needs to occur is processing. We must process consciousness so that consciousness can become known. The process is inward observation. Simply that. So sit with oneself, when one is quiet and still the unconscious can begin to move, can begin to stir, and can become to be known.

Silence requires nothing. Therefore the evolution of consciousness, in a sense, requires nothing. It simply requires a release...an environment that supports the movement of the unconscious into conscious awareness is an environment that respects utmost the inward experience of living. When we do not go within, we go with out. And simply, if we are to move towards "realization" we must simply realize. Consciousness evolution than is the product of awareness, internal processing, acceptance, and subsequent release. This is the movement of human conscious energy that goes unchallenged by dogma, thought paradigm, and the definitions of self.

Repetitive Patterns in our Relationships: Enhancing our Conscious Awareness of Self Through the Mirror of Relationship

At the core of each and everyone of us we desire to be loved. We also desire to bring love into someone else's life. Typically we are graced with these opportunities throughout our lives. Some more so than others although it is not the quantity of relationship that matters but the quality. One person may acquire as much love and experience from one relationship as another would from three separate ones. It is all about intent. Yet often we find that our intent makes itself manifest in repetitive patterns in our relationships. There is an unconscious element to this.

As it is, we are always in relationship. There is never true isolation. Even when we are alone. We are in constant relationship with the environment and its people around us. Our inward projections, our emotions, reveal the unconscious and conscious feelings that play themselves out in our relationships. Many of us, if not all of us to a certain degree, are still in relationship to the past. This is where the unconscious element is found. For we would not relate to the past if we were fully conscious of this. Yes we may be sentimental to the past, but this is not what I am referring too.

The relationship to the past consists of the emotional "residue" [emotional body] that was created through the interaction of our inherent personality with the experiences of our entire lives, from our infancy all the way to the present moment. It is this emotional body, along with our individual mode of expression, that influences the way in which we interact with everything and everyone.

It is the emotional body that influences the "conditions" of our relationships. The conditions being our emotional responses to the variables of our inter-personal relationships:

What is important to conceptualize is that we filter our relationships through our emotional body. This causes us to create conditions that play out our intra-psychic energy [intra-psychic meaning it deals just with the relationship to oneself, as opposed to inter-psychic which refers to our relationship with another]. What I mean by "play out" is that we reflect our intra-psychic processes on another to cause an energy that resonates between the two people. When both people do this to another...that is, they play out inther intra-psychic enegry upon another the couple creates an interplay to whereas ones own inra-psychic energy can be magnified., become more easily perceptible. This is the mirror of relationship. This is how we can see deeply within the reflective mirror of another into the depths of our unconscious and conscious aspects of being.

The mirror of relationship allows us to look deeply into ourselves. I think we can agree that it is the emotional body that causes us to "react" in our relationships. When we cater to the emotional body we cater to the past. We "play out" our past upon another [this is the basis for conditions within a relationship]. This is not to say that our relationships and experiences are not to be emotional, they are...very much so...but when our mind shapes the emotional body in a way, when the mind identifies with the pain and hence holds it in place...the emotion experienced becomes an emotion of the past. We repeat the past. That is if we are unconscious of our intra-psychci energy. The more we are aware of our intra-psychic process the more we can be released from the conditions we so typically put around love and walk into the experience of love as if it is a liberating exchange of energy.

We are "reactive" when we let the past unconsciously affect how we relate to the current relationship [in whatever capacity]. The emotional body is mostly unconscious to us, but the more conscious we become of it, the more we are able to walk more deeply into unconditional love. I make such a broad connection based on the observation that in my own life, the more I have become aware of my own patterns and relation to my current relationships, the more I realize I have the capacity within me to move into a state of openness with everyone. "Openness" is "oneness" with another.

Of course I am guarded like anyone else, but I strive to come to accept and witness that everyone acts the way they do, including myself, in a way that acts to protect their heart from pain, from abandonment, and from lose. Yes pain, abandonment, and lose, are mind concepts of which derived from our relation to fear that has been driven into us through social fear paradigms...yes, these mind concepts are in a sense abstract and not "real" for they are the past, yet these pains nonetheless linger within us and we attribute to them their "realness" through our identification with them [which more likely than none is unconscious too us]. This perpetuates the emotional body and enables it to be "real." For if the mind "knows" that this fear is real, than it becomes our experience [and we suppress aspects of ourselves, we let lie dormant aspects of our conscious awareness to ward ourselves from our sensitivity...becuase when we are sensitive in a fearful world...we embody it very deeply.]

The emotional pain body is unconscious to us for there are painful things that we wish not to deal with. But I promise you this, when we become brave enough to look beneath the surface we grant ourselves the opportunity to liberate ourselves from the unconscious impulses that keep us in repetitive patterns in our relationships. And it are these repetitive patterns that create the conditions of our relationships. And conditions, only limit the love, put a box around it, and diminish its ability to heal. For healing is growing and growing sometimes is not always pain free. But "growing" is freedom, for this is what the soul yearns for. Remember, the pain only comes from the witnessing of our unconscious reservoir, but it is a reservoir that is not infinite and can be cleared. Unconditional love is possible for us all.

What exactly is unconditional love? I can use words to try to describe it, but it nonetheless evades definition. For how can the most profound act of existence itself be contained by words. But I can say one thing...it is a love that makes us feel more alive, it is a love that encourages us to keep evolving. Maybe conditions will always exist...maybe the unconscious reservoir will always exist; maybe that is the purpose of the relative world. Yet what I am saying is that there is always something too move towards. There is a karmic and spiritual purpose for growth through the mirror of relationship. It seems to me that the purpose is too allow ourselves to shed the emotional past so that the soul of self, the absolute self, can transcend the conditions that the emotional body and the mind create. The mind, and the ego may always "be here" with us, for they "should," for they allow us to know what we are transcending, but when the "should" is transformed into "irrelevant" we have moved closer to world peace and harmony [do not think that world peace does not exist through the mirror of relationship. That is the only place it exists].

So allow yourself to take a step back. Witness another. Witness their defenses. And what you may begin to see may profoundly transform you. For in that moment you may realize that their condition, there inability to unconditionally love you stems from the psychic pain to which they identify with. The past has held a lot of pain for us and when we witness this in another we begin to see how they unconditionally love to ward themselves from the preconceived pain that they "may" receive from another. In a world of "what if's" and "possibilities" we protect ourselves from the pain too which we feel is inherent in relationships. We have been conditioned, through the pain of our parents, to see that all love contains conditions. It is a pain body that has moved with us from generation to generation and is also contained with the social norms. Yet, when we become aware of this pain within another we are given the ability to see it comfortably within ourselves...This is not a selfish thing, this is not a cop out. This is just the mirror of relationship. Because to see something in another means that we give ourselves the opportunity to see "it" within ourselves. It is all about opportunity, for the opportunity of unconditional love, or love beyond the conditions that the pain body creates for us is within our reach.

Knowledge and Understanding

Is there a difference between coming to knowing oneself and understanding oneself? These two words, knowing and understanding, I will use, as a matter of semantics, to try to observe something about human nature. What than is it to know oneself? What are we "knowing?" What is it to understand oneself? What is it that we are "understanding?" In many ways these two words can be used interchangeably. But for the matter of this post knowledge will imply a thought form, a solidified, agreed upon [however subjectively] fact, either about a person or about a situation. Understanding will be more feeling oriented. The understanding of something is an assurance through the witnessing of oneself.

When we come to know ourselves through some idea, some concept or such we find "salvation," for no longer do we need to search. We are confident for we know who we are. We are a "________," etc., but could this salvation, this confidence of self, be nothing more than ego gratification [ego gratification in the sense that is puts us in a psychological state where we become more so desensitized to our effectual core and its existential need for liberation]? Could this declaration of who we are be nothing more than a mere distraction? Does this declaration of self not limit the reach of our existence within a cognitive framework? Are we than not distracted from witnessing the real experiential self that is boundless, that escapes all definition, of which is a part of the flow of nature?

When we declare a "knowing" about our selves we structure our identity around some cognitive formulation. This cognitive formulation than, in a sense, is what we declair as "truth" and becomes what we pay homage too for we give it our attention. When someone "knows" that they are, for instance, a Christian, they see themselves within the cognitive boarders that describe, to the person subjectively, what it is to be a Christian. There is a confidence from such a declaration for there is a sense of salvation. "I know thyself" the ego declares! Due to the religious nature of this declaration the ego feels important, if feels as if it belongs to something greater than itself. Yet, in the religious sense, there is a declaration of what is holy, what "I" belong too and such, and in a way there is a salvation that is born, for the self declaration, the self "knowledge" assures the person that they no longer need to seek, for they know! There is peace. But is this peace, is this knowing, not derived from an abstraction?, from a reliance on some sort of authority? Is it a distraction in the sense that it gets the mind to perform the illusory trick of believing that it knows what is actually going on. Yet can we really come to know the totality of life, the totality of our existence through words and identification with them...can we really know when we declare we know...or do we only understand when we put aside our knowledge and come to feel what it is to be you, what life is, what the mystery of the expanses are?

Is God a word or an experience?

Spirits in Nature

When the Native Americans, or most indigenous people for that matter, witnessed nature, for example say the wind, they held the notion that there was a great spirit moving the tree. To the indigenous people the wind is a spirit form. Today when we see the wind...we see the thought that the word has created, and typically we bypass the witnessing of the actual experience becuase we are so tied up psychologically thinking the word. Our perception of the world outside of us, in this case observing the wind move through a tree, becomes a mere thought instead of a "witnessing".

Furthermore, what is the difference between observing the wind as some causal event or as some intervention from something divine? Is the scientific observation of the "wind" not merely a description of what is unfolding? So than how does the observation of something, the scientific analysis of something, render it not divine, or not meta-physical? Because we lack the science to understand the non-physical that does not mean it does not exist. One word: Love...is that a creation of the physical? - or does the spiritual energy of "the divine" make itself apparent in the manifest and subsequent experience of feeling love.

When we can witness the "wind" without our observation of the nature around us being filtered through the cognitive creations of symbolism, linguistic interpretations, and such, we see the totality of the experience. We feel it with our eyes. When we see the "wind" around us...rustling through the world...when we observe, with our hearts, the pulse of this experience we see that the divine is here and always was. This is what the Native American people meant that the wind was a spirit. For them witnessing the wind was a spiritual experience. They did not so much focus on the words and identifications of things. They experienced them.

Yes, we can abstract but can we listen with our hearts and gaze with our eyes? Herein lies our ability to know how to abstract reality, but furthermore how to experience reality.

The Inner World of One Self

Ultimately, our perception is our reality. Yes, our perception is shaped by the collective society, but the way in which we are conditioned is nonetheless under the governing influence of ourselves. The social conditioning which I speak of takes form in our identification with symbols; words, ideas, concepts, etc. It is the identification with symbols, idols, and concepts that drive the separation we have with the inner voice within, for if our focus is in the mind, through the imitation of some ideal our actions become mere repetitions. Our being becomes an imitation of a thought paradigm and hence we stagnant for we loose our self in the word that we believe we are or the word that describes what we are doing. Identification with words creates a separation from our experiential experience. This separation diminishes our ability to be here Now.

In regards to the "past," we can become conditioned to believe that the words in which we use to describe a prior experience are actually who we are. We can allow our selves to hold onto certain things we find true about ourselves even when they are born of the yesterdays. This "certain thing" is the emotional energy tied up with the word or experience which we identify with. This energy, of which is a stored emotion from the past becomes your now. We can claim that we are the way you are because of what happened to us, or who our parents where, etc., etc...and this may be "true," but it is as only "true" as to the strength to which we give those convictions, those identified with conditions.

Once you assume that you "know" yourself, and you declare that there is something about you that is "real," you lock in place the perception you hold about yourself. Yet, could it be possible that we are beyond the symbols, words, concepts, and ideas we use to attribute a sense of meaning to our lives? Could it be possible that the words in which we try to assume meaning from are inherently limited in their ability to describe the experiences they are symbolized after, created after?

Furthermore when we declare that we know ourselves we are nonetheless using the past as a marker of who we are now. Yes what we have accomplished and experienced in the past becomes the energy of who we are now but there is also something about each and every one of us that escapes time. And it is this aspect of one self that escapes time that is really who we are. This aspect of oneself that is not bound to any time, or to even any experience is the absolute nature of your spirit. It is free of time in the sense that it will always exist, it always existed, and yet it exists right now. This is soul. And this the energy that is you beyond the collective emotional build-up of your past experiences.

Ultimately it is our choice that dictates whether or not our mental and spiritual energy gives heed to the collective energy of the past. Yes, the past is what it was, but it was, it is now no longer. So how can the words of the past touch the vastness of the now, of which is beyond words, for it is constantly taking shape, constantly becoming defined?

In regards to the past traumas and ills of our lives, they remain if we decide to leave the stone of our unresolved energy alone. If we use words and symbols, ideals and idols, to meander our perception around the things we wish to leave unobserved we become more entranced by our conditions, more repetitive in our actions, and we subsequently become more attached to mental identity forms we cannot come to move away from. For how are we to move away from the things we believe we are if we cannot move away from identifying with words and ideas? The past now an idea. The past may have left an energy residue that hinders your joy, but it is our identification with this energy, our identification with the words and ideas of that energy that either keep it alive and conscious to us or alive and unconscious [for words cannot touch what is conscious]. Yet, in either case, the "pain body" is alive.

Yes we must look, but be afraid not, for your past cannot inherently hurt you,...that is unless you choose it too...It seems "plausible" that sometimes we must unconsciously choose to first experience the pain, which in turn creates the need for our defenses. Yet, from a long term perspective, this enables the experience of, what it is to know experientially, the birthing of the "new self."

[did your emotion react in anyway to this; why not observe that if so...
also note how I said "your emotion:" implying that it is your creation...]

If we can look and honor whatever it is that comes up in us we allow for life experience to come through with our psychological defenses diminished. When the defenses are down we inherently accept the "what is." But how do we do this?

Defenses become as aspect of our intra-psychic reality that influences our perception of things by filtering the way our emotional body witnesses the world. Our "emotional body" becomes the reservoir of our consciousness, for consciousness is our spirit. Spirit is what enables consciousness to be and express itself through the physical body.

Our consciousness, our spirit, may be closed off to certain "avenues" of intra-psychic expression because we circumvent our conscious energy away from aspects of self that we hide from. The thing is that the aspects of self which we do not like, the aspects of self that are tucked away and hidden, are there. They are always there. They are just hidden. Yet, they are only hidden in the sense that they are unconscious to us. They nonetheless "occupy" psychic room in the inner workings of our spirit; for everything, that being the totality of our lives as well as the life of the universe, is known by spirit. And if the spirit is potential everything...it is inevitably everything.

To know spirit, to know thyself, on a deeper level one must let go of the "old karma" that is weighing them down, keeping the conditioned body unchanged, and keeping us living within the boundaries of the same defenses. To do that we must ultimately accept, but to accept we first must "purge" the emotion(s) that are withheld in spirit and which are unconscious to us [Remember: because spirit is inevitable everything].

To do this we must witness "it" [it being the "hidden"], be aware of it, and walk into it. Our emotions will come up as they do, but why not experience this with courage and have faith in the notion that whatever it is that is coming up is not to be ashamed of or judged as an inferior aspect of self in anyway? For we will see that these "old aspects of you" are what enable you to know yourself the way you inevitably want to know yourself.

Purge the emotional bodies that are constructing fictitious boxes around the inevitable expansion of our awareness. Remove the conditioning of the "thought paradigm" you witness all around you. Remove the tension that conditioned life has instilled upon you.

That tension is the spirit saying to body that there is disharmony present. In this case the spirit is trying to tell mind and body that there is an experience that is occurring that is "out of the line" with the natural order of things. The more we evolve consciously we become more sensitive to harsh realities of our day. Which may in turn build even greater tension within the mind and body of someone.

There are "breaking points" were our unconsciousness becomes so pressing that it forces, sometimes by "accident," our life into upheaval so we are forced to make changes. Yet, honor these upheavals. For anything you experience you should honor...why not honor your life? But more importantly than all...forgive yourself...always. Do what you need to to. Be "crazy" and do what your impulses call for, but why not direct these impulses [and be conscious of ourselves instantaneously] in a way that honors your life, not damages it.

Jump in the cold ocean and scream with fits of furry if you feel. Do whatever it is to allow yourself to love yourself enough to forgive the past that haunts you. Release the stored physical energy of, what Eckhart Tolle refers to as, the "pain body," in any way that feels passionate to your being.

Allow yourself to release your past through "careful catharsis:" careful in the sense that you know it is right in your heart not to hurt you or anyone else around you. For you know, in your feeling of love for oneself, that your rage will seize, your past will be forgiven, and you will come to know a "new" you. A you that moves beyond the past by living in the Now...

And to live in the Now, fully, we need to let go of the chains of our conditioned past. By allowing yourself to forgive those who have hurt you and subsequently "changed" your life, you ultimately alter your perception of things and you open yourself up to a higher aspect of yourself. You experience your self in a lighter fashion. You become of a higher, more ethereal vibration.

I guess the experience of going the deepest into now brings us to the point where experience becomes everything and we become immersed into something way beyond our being [this is "God-Realization;" or closer to knowing the "God experience", for God is always evolving too {this is the same movement that runs through us, and the same way in which we come to know thyself}].

The work to be done now, by enabling ourselves to drop our defenses [of which were put in place, by the choosing of our own soul, so that we could experience higher aspects of oneself through experiential catharsis and subsequent perception expansion] we again, move into higher, more realized, versions of one self.

[our expansion into the now: our ability to go into deeper moments of the now both in an intra- and inter psychic manor is thwarted when we label our selves in ways, or "know" things about "who we are." The ideas we have about ourselves are essentially who we are, but our self forgiveness and our self understanding will grow when those ideas no longer limit oneself to perceive oneself beyond the analytical and rational creations of the thought realm. Is maybe "who we think we are" our shield from coming to know the sense of self beyond all these concepts and ideas? This I am not particularly sure of, for we are all different, but I know that it is true that the longer we stay "inside" the ideas of who we think we are the more distanced we become from actually being able to "change." When we change we do indeed stay the same [for we are always our essence but we do nonetheless grow. We move into the now more so of our "emotional presence."

That "Emotional Presence" is your soul.

And again, when we step into soul, we step into the deeper reality of our own inner world. When we step into deeper experiences of the now we step deeper into the womb of reality, into the womb of Earth and the Cosmos. For we are understanding, experientially, what life is all about...Expanding consciously, the Emotional Presence of Self.

Society to person : Person to society : All to L O V E!

We will not truly advance as a society until all of its "parts" - all of its expressions of "consciousness" - all unite into "one" consciousness...a type of consciousness that weaves its energy through each and every conscious citizen of that spherical living ball floating in space...this weaving of energy is telepathy...and is the unifying pathway towards social enlightenment...for when we all connect without word...speak without sound...we have heightened our ability to communicate...and when we heighten our ability to communicate we heighten our ability to harmonize around peace, justice, and sustainability...for we know in this silent sense of communication what is important...and it is not survival for one, but it is survival for all. What we have then accomplished is developing an equilibrium between "mind" and "nature".

When we base our philosophical and ethical modes of expression around the notion that the betterment for everyone leads to a healthier planet what essentially happens is we create an environment where the individual thrives. Yet this type of unity only comes about when we instinctively know, and when we communicate and act out of this instinct, that we are all inherently tied to each other [in this perceptual state the conventions of society no longer condition us to be desensitized to our actions of cruelty, destruction, and above all discrimination].

As things stand now we "compete" against each other for the acquisition of "wealth." We are pinned against each other by the forces of a economic system that is hierarchical in nature...that enslaves us to the demands of a centralized authority, of which, taxes our sovereign rights as citizens, not as citizens of a country, but as citizens of a planet. We are forced, seemingly "without choice," into a system that has taxed the human soul for we are not free to live spontaneously amongst the land. This system has taxed the heart of Gaia, our mother, too becuase we are so out of touch with her and not sensitive to her ways of telepathic communication. For she keeps telling us all the same thing [that is if we listen]...that we are love...and that we are all one and united and all existing in a symbiotic system that is currently out of our grasp of understanding. When we realize that we cannot know everything through the mind we may begin to understand a reality to can be understood solely through feeling [without the interruption of thought]...in this clear space telepathic communication with nature can exist for thought is not interrupting the message delivered from the divine. Intuition can understand "telepathic" communication with the Earth...that is if we can let intuition shine through the conditioned mind.

The thing about the phenomena of telepathy is that it illuminates the facts that quantum physics has been pointing out. That is that we are all connected through an energy that holds all of our vibrations in-line. For if we can "communicate" through feeling, we can obviously communicate beyond the physical [and I am not talking about reading body language, but understanding each other from even being miles apart: communication produced vocally through the bodies vocal chords only helps the conscious individual to be reminded of there feelings: spoken word is often, or always depending how you look at it, a way of making the past present].

When we unite...when we realize our true nature as beings interconnected on a planet that inherently unites us we will be peering beyond the conditioned reality...we will be "advancing" into reality that puts aside the ego and its thought conventions for a sensitivity of heart...for communication of the heart starts in the soul of each and every person and ends within the roots of the cosmos herself.

[I put "advancing" in quotes becuase the fact is we are already advanced...we just need to listen to this aspect of existence in our hearts through a communication between soul and the soulful Earth. This type of communication is telepathic in nature. For everything propels its own existence through sensing, really sensing, the relationship inherent to us all...the relationship to our mother.]

Not until our communities are built around listening to this sensitivity will we know peace. As things stand now we bypass the callings in the heart instead to listen and honor a conditioned aspect of self that dwells in its isolation. This isolation is what creates this divide between you and I, I and nature...and it is this isolation that gets us to fear in a way to where we attempt to protect only our individual survival [or the "immediate family"]. This is a fear born in the mind that believes their is not enough for "my" survival. And what happens is the hoarding of resources between people and people and between nations and nations. The fear muddles out the ability for us to build our communities around the unifying principle of love. For even in the light of resource scarcity we fear not, for our love of each other triumphs any selfish individual gain for we will instinctively know that all is family...one big cosmic family. In this state of expression we have dropped the fear that has made us act in ignorant ways...for we are always inherently trusting in this state.

In the words of my wonderful friend Rachel after spending 10 days in the amazon with just a backpack full of gear...

"It feels so much better to love unselfishly and not to fulfill your desires then to fulfill them and disrespect what someone else is feeling" - on talking about hunger and love when she was without food except for what nature provided for her [she was also in the company of 3 others]. She has come to know and experience this love...for she trusts the grand divine and has realized her existence experientially as both a unit of love and a mover of interconnected consciousness...

She also stated that "living that was so hard and it hurt at first, and then I just cried and cried for the joy of the truth in it, and being able to practice it, and I am seeing everyone as more beautiful now, and when I get good news from my friends I want to jump for joy because they are happy."

The thing is we can only come to trust the power of love...Love brings us to the realization that we can trust, but this is what the human dilemma has all been about. The choice to trust or the choice to fear. Our time on earth here has been filled with experiences caught between the expression of love and hate, love and betrayal, love and fear...This duality tests the depths of human soul relative to this 3rd dimension. Yet we are missing our connection to non-discriminatory love...unconditional love. This is the type of love that my friend Rachel was coming in line with. For the joy of another made her endlessly joyous [hence there were no conditioned that filtered her experience of another...if she saw their joy she did not muddle it or try to transform it through the filter of her own ego, instead she embraced it as her own for she realized that there is no separation between her and anything. She learned to trust the love in her own heart as something real, something pure, something beyond ego]. This is the type of love that is pure for it holds the vibrations of trust within it...and only when we all trust each other...only when we have no more need for the endless desires of the ego...will a love exists that is unconditional in nature and that binds each and every one of us together.

The thing is that the love is there. It is "latent," masked up by our reluctance to change our ways and clear our insecurities. For we feel as if our neighbors are judging and our hence separate from us...that in reality is of little significance, but any exterior judgment is indicative of ones own inner judgment about themselves. And the cycle perpetuates...one judges another, they inevitably are judging themselves. And so, we fail to unify the cosmic Principal of love as the only expression of human consciousness. For in the distractions of our dramas we ward ourselves from coming to know soul in a non discriminatory way, for we actually believe our drama is real, that our drama is what makes us an "individual." And in this illusion we loose touch with that inner place of heart...

We existentially fear the demise of ego, yet it is the compete demise of ego that brings us to the stage of accepting that both individual and oneness coexist...can the perceptual experience of mind and "no-mind" coexist? Is this what higher consciousness is all about as we travel into the higher dimensions of reality?

Only when we realize that that both the ego and non ego can coexist... we step into 5th dimension consciousness...

For there was always a middle ground between the soul and the mind [the ego]...and now between the soul and mind/no mind [the ego, and now the ego/nonego]. This is how the consciousness expands...it moves into higher waves of dimension. Encompasses more. Yet in higher dimensions consciousness needs more "space" in between the astral chords of expression. The "2nd" and "4th" spots are empty spaces that enable comparison to exists. Think of the waves of consciousness as the noted of a musical scale. The "space" or "silence" between the astral waves of consciousness enable comparison to exist. Comparison enables discernment and the possibility of discernment to exist creates the opportunity for conscious awareness. Therein in lies the choice...For choice, as human conciseness is concerned, is understood when we observe the silent space within...for only in non-reactivity can we come to clear choices that lead to the "advancement" of the human heart. Only when the human heart advances will society advance...

Herein lies the ultimate choice to love or to fear.

When we trust we love. When we love we do not judge, for all we know is love. We discern...we do not "judge," we simply "know." When we break free of the need to judge anything about life...and give supreme trust in the cosmic path unfolding we walk into love. For it is the journey of you reflected back to you [back to consciousness - back to that energy within you that is discerning...for that discerning entity is "you" - a unifying aspect of the cosmos itself]...

Love and trust will bring us into greater depths, greater aptitude of human complexity...human communication. For in communication lies the greatest mirror of the cosmos. Communication is the mirror which brings you back to soul...back to yourself..and back to the seat of creation herself...back to the inner vortex of "God*"

*The grandest expression of consciousness that exists...

When our consciousness moves closer in line with "*the grandest expression of consciousness that exists" we hold a perceptual capacity that has greater gains, deeper depths, and wiser insights. For we know when we see...and we move to that "seeing" - for seeing drives "sensation" - from body to brain to soul...the body and brain being filters of soul...

Each filter brings a unique way for communication to be expressed. In our uniqueness we are "driven" in different ways...but all driven back to the same place...back to the expression of love...however unique...still l o v e.

L O V E! Is what will transform the world. It is as simple as that. For love breeds all that is blessed in this life. And love, with conscious intent of that love...with a depth of love so deep it transforms the mind into a beacon of sincere attention and unconditional discernment...is the energy which breaks our social tendency to not trust, to fear, and to judge in a way that separates oneself from everyone...and everyone from everyone...Love is what propels advancement...

But remember it is not just about human love...it is about cosmic love...earthly pagan love...and non-discerning conscious love with everything.

So love of Earth requires something more from us as we are in current relationship to her. It is all cultural, not technological. All about how our feelings drive our actions. We are either unconscious to the current reality or we become aware of the what is and move on...march on...blaze on to a new paradigm...a new social evolution...towards absolute relationship...back to the garden of Eden...Yet now as opposed to the days of Adam and Eve...we are both conscious and immersed in the oneness of the divine! For we have evolved ~ through the greatest teacher of consciousness ~ relationship...

For Love is found cosmically woven through all of existence...it just needs to be expressed, found, and cherished.

Again...love advances...

Another short on Awareness

Can thought really touch and grapple with the immensity of experience? If you answer yes...than ask yourself this question: Can your being, the feeling of your own experience, be contained by words, memories, and the conceptual understanding of yourself? Or is there something about you that escapes words, escapes memory, and escapes the conceptual personality? Yes, words and concepts can be guideposts, but why let the guidepost become your destination? Is it possible that the feelings evoked from the journey of our lives are actually what we are? Is this the aspect of self that is beyond words, beyond concepts, and beyond the mind? Can we be brought into a heightened state of “realization” if we break free from the chains of our own limiting notions of what we believe we are…the notions that we identify with…

Essentially we are what we sense…our thoughts only try to make sense of what we experience. But we are experience…we are not thought…the observation of our own "inner life sensation" is what being is. Than is awareness and being simply synonymous? Are we now coming closer to understanding the duality between awareness and thought?

When we step into this state of being, this state of awareness and sensation, we may begin to observe the ALL that is, the ALL that is beyond words...because we are beginning to understand the difference between the processes of the mind and the processes of being [which is awareness beyond the limitations of thought and concepts]. I ask you, can the ALL, which is all of experience, all of everything, and the manifestation of which is our universe, contain any sense of separation within it?

This Morning I was Humbled...

I woke up this morning and sat upon the edge of my bed. As my alarm was still going off and keeping me somewhat in a not so awake state I began to have a rush of images flooding my mind. All the images where practically the same, yet the message was not made clear to me until my subway ride this morning.

The images where of groups of people...there were groupings of 3 or 4 people of whom I had never met, yet each face was precisely detailed. I was amazed how my mind was creating these faces within my inner awareness. Not one face was familiar, and all these people seemed to be very different and come from different backgrounds. Yet one thing remained the same. Every face was smiling. Yet there was nothing surfaced about their smiles. Each smile had a sense of genuineness to it that was profoundly indescribable.

Most of these faces seemed to be of people who on any average day would be found walking the streets of New York City. The message for me was a stark one. No matter who the person is on the exterior there is something inside of them that is worthy of a smile. I found a sense of peace in realizing that we are all humbly connected...connected in our desire for peace and love...connected through our immortality...and connected just becuase we exist together, here in the physical reality.

Sometimes in my day to day I judge what I see for it does not fit in with my values and how I desire too see harmony between the human race and Earth (becuase I know each and everyone of us is responsible for this harmony). Sometimes I see people and pass judgments for I "think" that they do not care about the integrity of the divine, the unity of which is inherent, the health of their bodies, and the health of their mother (Gaia)...yet regardless of outside appearance and action their is something within them that yearns to know their soul.

In my dream vision, the humble smile was the realization of being in touch with their soul essence. It was not something they were thinking, it was just something they felt. And all those faces exuded a confidence and a humble joy that only the untainted soul would know. In my vision, each and every person was admirable, for within them was soul. It is the humble smile of the soul that knows what these things experientially. And like in my vision, this truth is a reality in the waking life...even if it goes unseen. Even in our ignorance, we are still beautiful...for even if the soul goes unheeded their is a humble smile form within waiting to be discovered. And like anyone else I can't always be in touch with soul (it seems I only taste it from time to time). As I fall prey to the mind (like anyone else) my judgments take me away from this realization.

So what do I mean that these smiles were humble and simple? Well, these people in my vision exuded a quality that seemed to contain no ego. It was just, well, simple.

I do know that there is place within everyone, even the most egoistical of us, that is beyond ego.

More than anything else these mental images seemed to share something beyond words. They shared a feeling. And it was this "feeling," this "sensing, albeit outside the conscious realization of those people (and myself at this time upon awakening from sleep), that had a quality that brought everyone together. The fact that each image was a grouping illuminated this feeling for me through vision. Each smile was a humble one, yet it was the most sincere smile anyone could ever have. For it was the smile of peace. It was the smile of the humble realization that we are not what we think we are, we are not what we desire to become, we are not our possessions, and we are not our beliefs...but it was the humble experiential realization that we are united beyond words, beyond comparison. It was nothing more than nothing...In this humbleness the ego dissolves into the distance of nothingness.

On the subway on my way to work this vision came to me again...What was it about this vision that brought me peace? It did not take me much time to realize, but I felt that when I had that vision this morning there was no judgment on my part...there was no desire to see anyone differently than what they already are. Their humble smiles brought me to a non-judgmental place within myself...even if just for a moment I was brought to the realization that within everyone and everything their is a humbleness so profound that it breaks down all thought, all conditions, and turns everything into nothing. It seems that beyond everything is nothing...and in this infinite nothingness the soul resides...for the birth of everything starts from nothing...and the smiles where nothing more than smiles. Maybe that is why they were to peaceful...becuase there were no conditions, no expectations...there was just a humble smile.

This humbleness was my mornings peace...and although it may have not been such a joyous one, for I realized how much I have been judging the exterior world lately...not only in my personal life, but also in my writing, it humbled me...and in my humbleness I was brought back to the all powerful now, to the what is. Yes, the world around me may be falling apart. Yes, our egoistical and cognitive distractions from everyone, from the Earth, and from source is perpetuating this path of civil dissonance...But, it is not for me to judge anyone or anything for this is all apart of our karmic journey...no matter where we are along the spiral path of spiritual evolution...the life of another is be honored no matter where they are. For the unconsciousness of the mass is only a condition of non-discernment. To be discerning is a "skill" that takes the intent of conscious experience to develop. Discernment is garnered through patience, hard work, and a spiritual desire to know. To evolve consciously is the karmic journey. Yet, it is up to each of our individual choices as too whether or not we grow through our karmic lessons. The collective consciousness of humankind is, of course, a by-product of these individual endeavors. Yet the beauty still remains that it is our INDIVIDUAL journey (and this inherently cannot be judged by an outside conscious agent - for the judging person cannot really be within the person and feel from the inside-out the experience of someones consciousness).

It is mind blowing to me that both "individuality" and "oneness" can exist at the same time. This divine dichotomy exemplifies the profound depth to this multi-dimensional reality. To me it seems that individual-ness is just one layer of the oneness, yet distinct in its own...And that the all-encompassing oneness can hold the vibrations (the realm of possibility) of "separateness" and "oneness" at the same time...This is beyond rational and logical thinking. I believe it can only be understood...really understood...through feeling.

Earth is a meeting grounds for all souls. It is a converging point in the universe where energy mixes. This place is a spiritual proving grounds...and the Earth inherently accepts everything and everyone. Yes, the Earth will need to balance itself out by cleansing itself of the energies to which is destroying its life force, but even this is done humbly and without judgment. For the Earth must do this, for the Earth knows no fear, knows no "death"...It is just acting in a way to preserve the cosmic and genetic integrity of which the universe has created and thus create the opportunity for more harmonious life to evolve (in a very conscious, self-reflective way).

------*****---------******---------

It is through these humble experiences that I allow my self to be quiet and just witness (just be aware). Even if just for a moment I am brought into the experiential awareness of what these words attempt to portray. I am very grateful for them...even if my sensitivity can weigh me down so heavily at times. Bless the visions (even in their humbleness), bless everyone...and bless you....For I cannot know myself without your existence!

(Photo taken from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/untitlism/22800371/)

What the Soul Values

What we value is inherently subjective. Yet I feel that what the soul wants is universal. The desires of the soul manifests itself in a unique way dependent upon the conditions of someones life situation. Yet desire is still present. What is this desire? Is the desire an "existential" one? Does the soul simply want to understand itself? And what is a better way for the soul to do this other than to create in harmony within the movement of love... Too call forth those aspects of love from deep within to make them made manifest in the present moment. We can do this in our everyday actions with ourselves and with others, with plants, with animals, and with water for that matter. Love is not a thing, it is an experience. Can you not feel the reflection of yourself in the admiration of your hearts desire? Love is an eternal movement, for it is always taking shape and transforming into higher, more divine, forms of itself. This is the mirror of the soul, the mirror of the cosmos...and it is through this reflective process that the soul comes to know itself and know what it is that it is desiring.

Essentially the impulse of the soul is driven by love. How so? Well look at all of our actions...they are all based out of love...even our "hateful" actions...the ones that are done out of fear, division, and malice are in some way done out of passion. And it is passion that is the impulse that pushes the experience of love into existence. Yet, often times, we act passionately out of fear and we seek to hoard what we fear to lose. We may fear to loose love with a person so we act in a way that manipulates them, or control them. We may fear that we are going to loose our "wealth," so we seek to hoard it in this game we call "survival of the fittest." Wars are started this way too...it is because we fear to loose what we love that hatred may come to be. Yet look here...have we not than contorted love into fear...are they not two sides of the same coin?

Everything is done because people believe that it is right (no matter what it is). Fear is justified in the minds of those who honor it for they feel that they will become "less than" they are without what it is that they identify with. This is where the ego has the power to turn love into fear...harmony into dissonance. The ego can take the mask as "passion" (that is if passion is to be controlled by the fearful mind) yet this passion is subjective to the person.

Regardless, it is passion that is the impulse for the person to express what it is they think they feel. There is no "right" and no "wrong." All things just are, but remember...choosing how to express ones life should be done in a way to whereas the person listens to the calling in there soul without the filter of the mind...it is then that they are in touch with what is divine...it is then that the individual (who essentially is an essence of the divine soul) comes to know oneself...it is than that no acts of malice, greed, hatred, and fear can exist. For the language of the soul is the desire of God (God being you, I , and the All). And would the seat of creation...that being the all, have a passion to see its own creation live out the disharmony of division, inequality, and dissociation of itself through identification with the illusory mind?

It is important to realize that to think and too feel are two different things. The mind is what creates all the division in the world, the mind is what breeds hate...and it is the mind that confuses the message of the soul. So listen not to the mind and listen instead to that silent voice inside...it may be difficult to hear it...so quiet your mind, breathe, and relax...take yourself away from the things that weigh you down by simply stepping aside from them. Allow your mind to run rampant, but pay it no mind attention (realize that these thoughts are just temporary conditions). Simply focus on the breathe entering and leaving your body...maybe than you will feel something you never have felt before...maybe than you will feel what your soul really values...what you really value...

If we than are in touch with that silent place within...is there any room for the mind to create division between you and I (for all division and the social institutions created around those divisions: the ways of conventional economy, religious institutions, and the like)? And without division...have we not found peace? Again, it seems to me that Peace, Love, and Truth are interchangeable...