Showing posts with label feeling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feeling. Show all posts

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Conversation


The conversation is never ending. There is no start or beginning to this conversation. You can either participate in this conversation or you can ignore it, but whether we are conscious of it or not...the conversation preservers. We often tend to think that "conversations" only exist between humans, but the world is constantly "communicating" with us. Yet we are conditioned to observe life within a scope that is limiting, for we "believe" that the universe must be logical, and must act within its biological limitations.

But believe not what you believe and instead step into the awareness of knowing that what you observe is greater than what you think your observing...

Step into the awareness of knowing that what you sense transcends what you are actually thinking...for what we experience, observe, and sense is tied to something that is inextricably conscious, alive, and available for two way communication. The thing though about this conversation is that it is not something that "happens to you," it is something you consciously participate in (whether we are aware of it or not). When we drop the distraction of the ego, we can begin to witness that "thing" which transcends you...The "thing" being the feeling of self during the "act of awareness." - this is when allow feeling and soul to lead us instead of letting the mind lead us.

What conversation am I even talking about? Well I am speaking about the infinitely unfolding conversation that is going on between you (the internal world) and the universe (the external world). You may ask, "how does something that has no ability to talk have the ability to communicate." Well, this is a thought that directly reflects the way in which we have been conditioned to observe how communication can happen. You may ask "how is something that is not alive communicate." Aliveness is also another relative term based on how we have been conditioned. Aliveness, as we believe it to be, is a term used to describe an entity of existence that is biologically alive. Yet, universally speaking, everything is alive because everything is conscious. Everything is conscious because it is inextricably tied to the ALL. And the ALL, the realm of the all encompassing expansion of infinite consciousness, is not divided. The only thing that divides anything, conceptually speaking, in our reality is thought (read the meta-physics of consciousness to better understand this). So essentially if everything is related; that is, if everything is is inherently relating to everything, how then is everything not in communication? It is through this communication that consciousness comes to witness itself and understand itself in the varying degrees and dimensions to which consciousness reveals itself to itself. It is hard to describe this, but consciousness builds itself, expands itself, through becoming aware of itself. And through this communication, we as individual human units of consciousness evolve for we are brought into a heightened state. We evolve because we are doing the only thing we ever came here to do...and that was to witness ourselves...and the more conscious we become of consciousness it self, of the conversation, of the world, of everything...the more conscious we become of our nature, for we realize that we ARE nature.

Verbal exchange is not the only way to communicate. In actuality it is a very limiting way of communication because words can not touch the actual experience of the word being spoke about. A word, a thought, a concept, which are the means of verbal communication are abstractions. They are not the actual "thing." The actual thing is the experience. The experience being the feeling evoked from whatever it is that the observer comes into relation with. True communication, in its most elemental and pure form, stems from feeling. And words, thoughts, and concepts are often used in attempt to convey these feelings, but do not get tied up and lost in the fact that these words are not the actual thing. Communication essentially takes place in the realm of feelings. And if we become conscious of how the exterior world evokes feelings within us we can begin to realize that we can have a two way conversation with the exterior reality. I will explain what I mean by this in detailed examples below*. So now that we are clear that communication extends way beyond words can we begin to "taste," experientially, how everything around us is communicating with us. We are in relation to everything. The interior world can only come to know itself through the witnessing of our relation to the outside world. This is the foundation of communication. Communication exists in the meeting spot between the internal world and the external world because this is where feeling is created...

The feelings we feel occur because of our experience with the exterior. We are always communicating with the exterior. Do not doubt the ability for us to foster feelings from within that communicate with the exterior world. Do not doubt then to have these feelings reciprocated by the exterior world. There is nothing "random," going on here. Everything we witness in our conventional society is the outcome of our communication with the outside world. Yet, many of our actions, many of our creations never take into account the well-being of the inhabitants and the earth itself. Because of this we are beginning to witness the effects of this in how the Earth and its inhabitants are communicating with us. It is not random that there has been an increase in tectonic activity, an increase in socio-political upheaval and the like. We are now witnessing the Earth communicate back against our own ignorance by the Earth cleansing itself of the entities that are ignorant to its means of communication. Would you continue talking to someone who was not listening to you? Or would you walk away?

The Earth right now is walking away...but we still have the opportunity to walk away with it...and we shall for that is our destiny. But where are we walking? Is walking then, metaphorically speaking, the same as evolving? Here the Earth has realized that the general mass that occupies it is a sleep at the wheel and is veering off course. Our ignorance perpetuates a divided world that hoards and destroys the vital life force to which not only humans depend, not only animals and plants depend on, but the Earth itself depends on. And so the Earth is choosing to evolve by transcending its dense 3 dimension vibration (a vibration that enables duality to exits - and everything that has ensued through egoic ignorance) into a 4th and subsequent 5th dimensional being where it can restore its vitality and move closer into the oneness (away from duality). This is a shift of metaphysical proportions and is occurring, not coincidentally with the shift that the Mayans were keen on. Regardless of our ignorance thought, we are always "walking back to source"...the walking process is always happening, always occurring...our conscious awareness of this "walking journey" though, dictates how "fast" we walk...how "fast" we evolve into the body of divine source. So it is our conscious awareness that can shape our choices...the choices that shape the momentum and direction of our evolution. Remember, not choosing is a choice. And it is the not-choice choice that has perpetuated a mass mind that is a sleep at the wheel, distracted and dissociated through its own egoic distractions.

It just occurred to me I don't feel emotionally well during full moons...This is my time to exponentially experience the culmination of this cycles' emotional energy buildup (cycle meaning time in between full moon cycles). Yet, it is quite intense this time around...and increasing so...I think it is because I sense the lack of communication between humans and the earth (yet it is a disconnect that was inevitable. The disconnect will bring us to the realization of connection - but when will we choose to understand this and connect?). Most of us are immune to this, or we "choose" to be immune to it (for we are distracted and dissociated from the conversation going on with reality due to how perversely we live from mind instead of soul). Again, through this non-choice choice we are unconsciously creating, or perpetuating, a reality that condones inequality, competition instead of cooperation, destruction, war, brutality, and an overall disconnection with spirit.

Spirit is there! it always is...it just much be reached for in order for us to experience soul...we must consciously strive and arrive at soul....and continue to move towards goodness in the spiritual form...Love, harmony, equality, peace and divine justice are only possible if we move into soul. If we are going to be brought back into communication with the earth we must be brought back into soul and feel everything that is occurring. When we feel this communication we are no longer dissociated from "the conversation" with life...with the universe...for we are no longer caught in the trap of the mind and its abstractions.

When the ego becomes "known." When we come to the dissolution of the ego through awakening we will come to experience the restoration of our connection with spirit/with earth...When we are no longer bound to the ego, no longer tethered to the mind...we will find peace. We will be in Communion...

...The conversation is then understood...

Last night I was playing guitar in my room...Had Phish Blasting, Amp Cranked... for many Hours...Last night was also a very stormy night. The storms that ragged down south (bringing massive tornadoes and subsequent upheaval) influenced our area as well...I had a clear view of the night sky through two large windows. A lighting storm was brewing...

At some point in the night I was totally lost in the music...I was not thinking about anything...I was just playing through feeling...and magically my fingers kept moving...The room around me was alive and breathing and so was everything...During the peak of a phish jam...both trey and I were raging and as this happened...in my immersion into feeling (completely) the night sky flashed purple with the evenings first observable bolt of lighting...The tension built and then released in sync with the movements of the world. I was realizing through music how much the earth responded to me. I am alive and I feel without thought when I play guitar. That communion felt ecstatic...Beyond being "proof" it was a celebration...As it always should be.

(post photo from: Ashley Coll, Fine Artist. http://www.ashleycoll.com/index.html)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Life is "Unknowable;" So Then What about Feeling...


It is the illusion of duality that has enabled the human being to perceive what he or she is. It is the duality which has enabled the human being to experience what it is to experience the other. So through this bless the duality. But it is the mind which has attributed ironclad names, symbols, and categories to the differentiation we perceive within the realm of the duality. And in this mind, because we have an incessant need to categorize, our identification schemes divide us from each other. I mean there could be "categorization" without division, but it is because we identify with these "intellectual" categorizations (I am white, this person is black, that is a tree, that is an ocean etc) that we get lost in our identifications. Our identifications, which build up our egos, are the mental "things" that becomes our illusion. Yet although duality was created so that we could experience another, we have lost our focus because we live strictly through the mind. And now the "illusion" is lost for we become tied to our thoughts about things. The "illusion" of duality than becomes "real.". No longer is life the majestic illusion, no longer is it a wonder. Now life has become "real," it is mundane, it is understandable through word...But is it really? Can we totally understand it through word, through idea, through mind? It cannot. For feeling escapes the grasp of word. It drives us, and makes complete "sense." That is because we feel it, not think it.>! Yet, mind controls the ebb and flow. It devises the rules and the way we live...

This goes hand in hand with the patriarchal society that has developed. For the "logical" and "rational" way of perceiving and being has influenced the current social developments, both social and technological. We employ logic and its cunning wonder, but we have forgotten the feminine aspects of being, the sensing, the intuition, and the like and in this we have forgotten that the duality is an illusion (and really that we are one - because we all sense, we all feel, and we are connected through this...We all sense and feel the same thing, but we certainly do not "think" we are the same thing...think about that...(think to understand that thinking leads to division)...As it stands now, everything is "real," everything is "understandable" through word and logic. But of course it is not...There is a wonder, an excitement, of which is indescribable, of which it is too live, to sense,to feel, and we certainly cannot understand the entirety of feeling...for feeling is the journey...it is what pushes us to walk a certain path...and we don't always know why...for we shouldn't...but we obsess to know...for we are "trained" to only live through the the mind...and through this process we have forgot that not everything is knowable, not all is "real" in the sense that we know it...

What do I necessarily mean that the duality is an illusion, or that we can see it or not see it as an illusion (going back to paragraph number one)? Well for one, because we do not see the illusion, because we believe that the mind has "proven" that all is random, that all is physical, and that feelings are nothing but creations of the physical mind and the neurotransmitters that communicate with nerve endings in the mind, we forget to realize that life is essentially "unknowable" - in terms of feeling and sensing...For we are to sense feelings, not think our feelings. Did we forget to realize that the emotional aspects of life, their origins, their functions, and role within our lives were beyond the grasp of thought (in its entirety at least)?

Have we not de-empathized the feeling aspect of our lives? It is rationality that tells us psychic-ness is not real (or maybe religion does that; because religion in the dogmatic sense is another thought paradigm), it is rationality and logic that tells us that 1 + 1 = 2, but what about the fact that 2 is 1 and that 1 is 2...because the "all" is inherently connected. One can only understand One because of the other (making the 2)...and two, when merged into wholeness becomes one (the 1)...But this is feeling...this is beyond logic and "makes no sense." The math doesn't "work" here, but does it have too? And back to what I was saying before...does the illusion need to make "logical" sense... can we not just sense it?! and not Logic "IT."

Essentially, the more we realize that feelings are not to be completely known in the mind, do we allow them to walk us into the moment of NOW. We then allow them to take us into the journey of our lives and enjoy each moment as it unfolds. Yes, there are things that are not "perfect" in your life right now...But is it really "not perfect." Or are we just thinking that...hmmm, Have I lost myself here...or does this just make a lot of damn sense.... remember I am talking about "sense" now, not being "logically sound."