What is it that You Want...?

What is it that we are seeking? Are we even sure of what we want? Do we even question what we want? Do we simply want to be comfortable, to feel secure, to have secure loving relationships? Would I be so much of an iconoclast to say that many of the things we seemingly want are conditioned into us through the adherence to a dominant social paradigm? This is not to say that feeling comfortable, feeling secure, and having a loving relationship is not part of the human experience, but it seems to me that many of the ideals we follow, the goals we strive towards and types of relationships we seek could be done out of complacency with the "norms." Again, I am not putting a value judgment on this, there is nothing wrong with complacency, but I wonder, and I wonder if you wonder, if there is more to this social routine.

Question this, do you do the things you do because you feel compelled to do them or do you do them out of your own inclination? The boundaries here are often quite blurred, but time in silence enables the inner voice to differentiate itself from influence all around you. But maybe you want to be influenced, and then again there is nothing wrong with that...for this is your blessed human experience and choice as to how you proceed is your ultimate gift.

I often question simple social concepts, in particular marriage. Now, there is something very beautiful in this declaration. To state there is no other human being out there that makes you feel more complete, more like who you are is extremely beautiful, but I question...can we love more than one person at a time sincerely? Can we decide right now, how we will feel about a certain person 20 years from now (or do we simply make the decision now that in all the proceeding moments of now we will be this person's companion for life)? But what about the reality that various partners across the span of our lives can bring us love, joy, companionship, as well as a mirror for growth? Why does a man-made institution need to "sanctify" a partnership? Or maybe there is just something simply profound in taking that leap of faith with someone...

I Don't even think it is necessarily important for me to answer these questions here, for the answers are all subjective in nature and there definitely is no superior answer. Yet I feel if we do question them, look at them, not necessarily answer them with our minds, but answer them with the calling in our hearts, we may find more heart felt, more sincere answers from deep within. But the most important question, pertaining to any type of relationship, would be: What does this relationship bring into my life, and how does it make me feel more alive? If you can answer this question in a healthy manor, this would reflect a healthy relationship.

Maybe it is just my Libra nature to be so inquisitive about everything, yet I find that there is something beautiful in really feeling something deeply. For this enables us to really know what it is that we want, not just in the mind, but totally, completely. To go through the gauntlet of feelings and experiences, questions and answers (not from the mind, but through experience) allows us to walk deeply into our subsequent experience, however we choose them to be.

The thing about life is that not all the answers are laid before us. In actuality none of them are for this is our journey through experiential discovery. We create each successive moment through choice and whether or not that choice comes through a sincere individual decision or a decision that comes through influence and conformity - is nonetheless a matter of choice. Because to have an outside force choose for you is nonetheless a choice. Furthermore, not making a decision is a decision in and of itself. So what I am I essentially saying in this entry is...well, why not just seek for yourself what exactly it is that you want...what do YOU want beyond all the influence. And most importantly, always forgive yourself past experiences that you wish you had no part in. For the past brought you here right now. And without the gauntlet of experiences you would not be as amazing as you are now.

The Metaphysics of Consciousness; Into the Acension

NOTE: This is in the process as being published as an e-book.

"If you take the leap from your understanding of life as being "biological" in nature, to an expanded awareness of consciousness in non-biological forms [meaning that non-biological entities are conscious], you will understand the infiniteness in non-biological forms, you will understand the infinite splendor of life in the Cosmos of Soul." - Patricia Cori

Intro

Everything is conscious. Consciousness differs though to the degree to which it expresses itself; meaning to what degree is it consciously employed and subsequently made manifest.  Consciousness is employed through the conscious force manifesting its will.  Everything in existence, both currently perceptible and not, is conscious because within everything is a creative life driving force.  Furthermore, everything is inherently connected when we consider the fact that this creative life driving force is the force that sustains all of existence.  Consider the movement within the conscious mind of a human to make conscious decisions to bolster his or her life as well as the plant that exhibits movement to sustain its own life.  There is a force at work here too which can be tapped into too varies degree of conscious control.

Using the example of a decomposing tree exemplifies the inherent interconnectivity apparent to all things.  The movement of decomposition, in regards to the once “alive tree,” allows life to meander through the tree, into the soil, and subsequently into the new life it supports as the future comes to be.  The tree, to the best of our knowledge, may not have a self-reflective consciousness that enables it to experientially witness its own life and death to the degree that we humans can, but it nonetheless is conscious due to the fact that it contains within it a life force that enables “it” to progress its own life.  A self-reflective consciousness is not the basis of consciousness.  I believe this is what Patricia Cori was describing in the quote above.  We consider the Earth as a whole to be unconscious, but as we shall see as we proceed, consciousness is as subjective as anything else we try to conceptualize. 

This book is about understanding the relationship of consciousness to life and the varying degrees in which consciousness becomes manifest.  This book is about realizing that the more conscious the conscious individual becomes of consciousness itself a progression takes place.  The more conscious the person become of the “life force” within the more able the person becomes at manifesting a reality to which they desire.  I like to think of this as the expansion and progression of consciousness.  I am eluding to the fact that humans, as they become "evolved" and progress, they become more able to shape reality in a way too which they thought we thought was not possible.  In a sense human consciousness has enabled us to discover and implement many great advances to which seem “unnatural.”  In this it seems as if we have progressed and evolved further than the nature we find around us.  Yet as we go on in this book, we will see that this egoic conception of human consciousness is what has caused us too separate ourselves from nature and thus create a dual state.  The renaissance of human consciousness expansion is about connecting back with the natural wisdom of the Earth.  Pairing archaic wisdom with conventional wisdom is what moving out of duality and into the new era of humanity is all about.  This is what the Ascension that is upon us is all about.

The Duality of "Awareness" and Thought

Awareness: as a state of being...
Thought: as a state of mind...

I do so frequently forget - forget to be aware of the things I see - because so often my "awareness" is funneled through the filter of thought and memory. There are of course no cut and dry rules to observation and awareness, but I do realize myself getting lost in my own thoughts. Yet I seek another state of being that bypasses this process. I seek a state of awareness where thoughts and judgments begin to dissolve. The key then to achieving this while my mind is in analytic mode, it seems, is to observe the judgments, but to see the unimportance of them. Because simply put, these thoughts are illusions in the sense that they are temporal. For what I see in the visual plane is what it is and nothing more. It extends into the eternal moment of now. The application of words to the visual experience only limits the actual experience, by funneling this inherently experiential experience through the filter of words which are inherently limited themselves. As Krisnamurti stated, "you cannot know the unknown through the process of the known." What he was eluding to is that we cannot observe the divine through the lens of the collected known (thoughts, ideas, and memories).

More practically speaking, my ego, although an aspect of my being that should not be condemned, engulfs my being in its "drama" and funnels the energy that could be used to be "aware" into the area of thought and limited existence.

*I state that the ego should not be condemned because when you judge the ego as something bad or something that should be changed, what happens is only the perpetuation of more ego. So when I say to myself, I should not judge myself like this, I kept alive the very force that I desire to dismantle. Yet, what makes things interesting is the observation of the paradox I find myself in...For in my state of awareness - where I sense and feel that "all is one," I loose sight of the ego as if it never existed...but the days are eternal and I am drawn back down into my state of ego (the state of relative existence) because I do witness myself as a separate entity. And on many levels this warrants the discriminating judgments, both internal and external. So the paradox seemingly exists; that I am both a piece of existence, an entity, as well as the whole itself (that is if I am to honor feeling and not just rational intelligence, for "awareness" in the way I tell of it is a feeling and not necessarily a thought, although thoughts may follow). Amazingly, both the relative and the oneness exist simultaneously.

This is something that I admit is beyond my current understanding...How both a sense of separateness and oneness can exist at the same time (non-duality)...Because I have my own ability to think and decide for myself apart from the rest of the masses. The mind understands that both I and the rock are separate, but from a grander more divine perspective I realize that the relative world could only possibly be experienced if there were a "fabric" that holds it all together. This divine "fabric" is what I sense when I sense the "oneness." Because only when I bring myself away from my thoughts can I sense this; only when I see beyond the relative can I sense the whole. And it is the senseing of this fabric and the knowing that I am a part of this fabric brings me to the realization that all is one.

And what does this sensing feel like? It feels like love. For what else would hold existence together if not love? For what emotional energy would we attribute to the phenomena of having the desire to live in the first place? To illustrate: as the trees climb higher to capture the sun, as the fish eludes its predator, as the people procreate... I wonder why? to live? but why live if not propelled by the force of love... and we should realize that the fear of non-existence is nothing more but the fear of not being able to experience oneself anymore. Are we really afraid of death, or are we really afraid of not being able to experience existence?...is that not fueled love?. And through this feeling is what brings all of this together and an experiential understanding of the "ether" that holds all of this that we call life, together. All of this relative and oneness stuff... For the basis of our relationships are inextricably tied to this natural experience.

From this realization we can begin to see how blessed we are for being different (in all capacities). This relative existence gives us the ability to see how we exist among others and it therefore allows us to see, in a greater capacity, how we choose to live and create who we are; for our differences create the contrast in our lives. For we relate to the relative...This is our blessing, our gift, and although this may make us feel alone and isolated from time to time, although it creates the ability for extreme differences and prejudice to form, and for wars to exist....it creates the opportunity for ultimate connectivity, unity, and the experiential realization of love. So the wise see that the greatest gift of the relative is our ability to choose how we relate or not relate to what we experience...and in that we are only left with choice...The choice to be aware or to be reactive...The choice to live from love or from fear....and the choice to connect through our differences - for we could never experience ourselves if it was not for the other.

So in conclusion, awareness is both an activity of thought and non thought. It can allow us to experientialy experience the oneness all around us and within us and help us live and base our lives on this glorious experience or it can dictate our lives based on our beliefs and thoughts so that we become reactive. The former seems more pleasing, yet our egos are tied up in the latter, for who are we if we are not to relate? The answer, from an intellectual capacity, still eludes me...but the feeling most certainly does not.