Sometimes we simply just don’t want to deal with the things
that have us feeling out of balance.
Yet, there comes a point where our mental unease brings about a life
that is no longer enjoyable, and believe me, I know what that feels like. But could it be that the emotions we
hide from contain a message we need to hear? At a time not so long ago this spoke very true to me.
For me, this unease came to a threshold when I quit my job
on October 7th of last year [Ironically on my birthday]. For months I was battling in my mind
with what I thought was right and what I felt was right in my heart. For nearly a two-year period I was
working for my father at his successful textile company. Everything was set up for me and all I had
to do was learn to love it. I was
paid well, the atmosphere was laid back, and eventually I was to become the
owner. But the whole time I felt
unsatisfied. I kept saying to
myself, the money is great, I love the people I work with, and I was working in
the heart of New York City, how could I not love what I was doing? I had it made, but there was one thing
missing…passion.
On a daily basis I interacted with fun and creative people
to whom I sold some of the world’s most beautiful fabric. Yet, on the inside I was
miserable. Interestingly enough,
the house of cards fell for me during the height of the Occupy Wall Street
movement. On typical workdays last
summer I would take the subway downtown after work to rally and march in
support of making known the injustices of society. In a way it seemed hypercritical, but I was doing what felt
right. The Occupy movement
connected me with a passion that had lay dormant within me for years. Subsequently, this passion had awoken
me to what I was really feeling about my career. And so it was, on a mild fall evening in October, I quit the
family business.
That evening as I was packing my stuff and saying goodbye my
friend Juliette called me. “Are
you going to meet me tonight at the meditation circle down at occupy tonight?”
she asked. We met that evening and
she sensed my unease. Like a good
friend, she stood still with me, calmed my nerves, and assured me that I did
the right thing because I followed my heart. As we walked into the occupy camp that night I saw a “sign”
that I will never forget. In a
pile of cardboard signs, depicting peoples art, quotes of empowerment, and
signals of social and economic injustice, I saw one that literally stood
out. It was on a stick that stood
out higher than all the others and all it simply said was “coaching.” I gave out a lighthearted laugh and in
that instant I knew I was destined to become a life coach.
Prior to this experience I had finished all the life coach
training courses I needed to, but because of my busy work schedule I did not
have the time to set aside to create and build my business. But here it was, my “sign” on a sign!
It told me exactly what I needed to move towards.
It was incredible to say the least. Furthermore, a few weeks prior to that I had an experience
at Occupy that supported this life changing decision. You can read more about it here [Divine Synchronicity]. Regardless of the clarity that set upon
me that evening, this change had been a long time coming. I had become complacent with my reality
and these feelings of misery became normal.
I don’t think I am the only one who knows what that is
like. Even if we do not want to
admit it, feelings of miserable complacency may happen to all of us at some
point or another. It may occur
during a relationship, or like me, in the midst of a career. At this point it usually takes a life experience or a
pivotal point in ones relationship with another that makes you feel what it is
that you are unaware of inside so that you make a change. For me, it was the experience of Occupy,
the love of good friends, and a latent desire for a new life.
I admit getting in touch with the whole gauntlet of human
emotions is not always easy. On
the surface, it may feel as if nothing is wrong, but brewing in the realms of
our unconsciousness is a state of emotional unease. Think of the times when you have had to have another person
point out to you how sad or angry you were before you actually became aware of
what you were feeling.
Again, it usually takes a humbling realization or a crucial
life experience to “tip your scales” and awaken you into a state of
self-realization; whereas we allow ourselves to feel what it is that we are
feeling. In the dawn of this often
painful and humbling realization you are given the choice. At this point you can either take ownership for your
feelings and create the change you need or you can continue to
disregard your unease and make excuses for yourself. You may justify your unease and misery by saying things to
yourself like “the world is just not fair” or, “it is just normal not to love
what you do.”
Believe me, I only come to write this material because I
know what it is to come to the realization of my own unconscious
self-ignorance. It was a very
humbling process to realize how complacent I was with feeling miserable and
having a career I did not feel passionate about.
No one is perfect and no one is immune to the emotional ebbs
and flows of life. But each time emotional unease brews within you it creates the platform for our own evolution. Without
our ignorance there would be nothing to evolve into. Our ignorance gives us the ability to know deeper aspects of
ourselves. So with that being said, forgive
yourself! You can move towards passion instead of feeling triumphed by fear. It is Ok to be afraid, but it is up to you to conquer this fear.
Any misery or emotional unease you may feel is your inner
guide trying to communicate something to you. Of course this is not the only way in which your inner guide
communicates with you, but it is a necessary one.
All of this is part of the journey, but what at speed
do you want your life to unfold the way you want it to? Remember the statements we heard as children, such as “dream big,”
or “make your dreams a reality?”
Well, what is your life for, but if not to make manifest your
desires? Is your life for someone
else or is it for you?
Acting out of self love as opposed to heeding your fears
speeds up your evolutionary process.
Creating the life situation you really desire is all about having the
courage to defy your fears and having faith that your self-love will propel you
into the experiences that will bring this desired change. Step by step life will test these convictions, but
your courageous actions in each successive moment change everything.
It is important to realize that your goals are never
ending. There is never an endpoint
that is going to liberate you.
There is only following in this moment what your heart is telling you. What is really going to liberate you is
being grateful for
what the journey has presented you with.
We do not always have control over everything in our lives,
but we certainly do have control as to how we interact with what occurs. We will always be in a cycle of
ignorance and awareness; we will always be within the movement between
unconsciousness and consciousness. But see that this cycle is not circular
movement, it is a spiral one…and the more intent you put into consciously
creating the life you want the more quickly you will evolve up that
spiral. That is the journey. You may take a step back, but you will
take two steps forward…remember, taking that step back was
necessary. There is perfection in
in-perfection!
So I ask you, are you grateful for this moment? This is the moment that presents you
with the ability to make manifest what it is that you desire for yourself. Being grateful shifts your energy and
inevitably shifts your life. All
interactions with people, places, and things, present the opportunity to step into
a state of awareness that grants you control over your internal
disposition. What it is that
you feel on the inside declares to the world who and what you are. And who you are declares what you will become…
You have control despite whatever it is you may think or
feel now. Find your control in the
faith and knowing that your life will advance if you seek what is natural for
yourself. You can find what is
natural for you though only in the depths of your heart. So seek your truth and so shall you be
free from your misery…
For me it was not natural to be doing what I was doing for
those two years. And I know now it
takes being what you’re not to find out who you are. I am grateful for that experience in retrospect. It allowed me to tap into a sense of
courage that I used to only idealize.
In the culmination of those two years I was granted with the greatest birthday gift I ever gave myself...self-honesty...
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