Friday, August 24, 2012

On Isolation, Humility, and Connection

Every now and then feelings of loneliness can take over.  At times we may feel isolated and alone in a world that feels so separate from us.  We may feel loneliness when we part from a significant relationship, or when we move to a new town and don't know anyone, or when someone close to us dies, or we may simply feel it and not know why.  At the core of the feeling of loneliness is isolation.  We should not try to change this feeling because it is a natural part of the human experience.  Without it we would not know isolations opposite.

When we let any aspect of the human experience to be as it is, without trying to change it, we give our selves the opportunity for life to teach us humility.

Distracting ourselves from any type of unpleasant emotion may push it out of conscious awareness, but this unpleasant emotion will remain in the sub-conscious gnawing at us in some unseen way.  We may then start to feel these emotions creep up at some later date and not know why we feel depressed.  It is best to deal with things as they arise.

When we run away from our feelings we run away from ourselves and when we run away from ourselves we lower our capacity to be the fully present beacon of consciousness that we inherently are.

There is no doubt that at times in my life I have felt a seemingly unrelenting loneliness.  When I was 18 my life long best friend died peacefully in his sleep.  For almost a years time I would distract myself in unhealthy ways to placate the feelings I had brewing inside of me.  I questioned the purpose of life and was filled with an intense anger.  "Why God did my best friend have to leave this world so early?!"  Yet in this experience I gained a deep sense of humility for myself and for life.  The passing of Matthew's life is something I will go into greater detail at some later date.

What I learned brought me to a humbling and paradoxical realization.  I found out that only in the awareness of my isolation was I able to start to feel a profound connection to the world around me.  When I let go of the need to be connected to others to placate my loneliness I started to feel a natural connection.  It was something that was at first so subtle it was like the whisper of spirit, but when I tuned into it I felt it coming out of all living things.

We can tune into it by being humbly aware of the gift of life and the precious opportunity we have being here for just a short few moments in the landscape of eternity.

So even despite the loneliness I feel at times...I know that life is with me, that spirit is all around me, and that even the stranger is family.  Nature too, has its own way of communication.  And only when I allow myself to feel can I connect to the emotional matrix of life that is all around me.  Yes, we should be selective to what energy we want to pick up, but a compassionate and humble heart will always attract you to just the "right" people and places.

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