Social Evolution is About Personal Evolution

In the same way that we must question our personal intentions and behaviors to grow so to do we need to question the social intentions and behaviors of our current society.  The two are never separate.

Growth and moving forward begins the moment we summon the courage to create change in our lives.  Courage is a universal phenomena.  It is something we all muster up in times of challenge.  The challenges and travails we endure as individuals we also endure as a collective society and no longer do I see personal growth as solely "personal."  It is our narcissism that keeps us solely focused on our individual troubles.  Yet I believe this narcissism is born from the standards of our cultural ethic.  It is not something we can really blame ourselves about.  Yet without awareness of this we fail to see that our individual problems stem from the fact that our cultural ethic condones a life of isolation, fear for survival, the need for comparison, as well as a multitude of other ways of being that diminish our quality of life.  And in the same way that we are numb to the disastrous effects that the corporate state is having on the planet, so to are we numb to the fact that this corporate state and the life it espouses is detrimental to us as individuals.

Our cultural ethic tells us we never have enough and that the only way to secure our personal need is to compete against each other.  This fear driven ethic is simply not working anymore.  We may not see that there is a way out.  And if we are wealthy enough we find ways to not have empathy for those who are suffering.  But without questioning and inquiring into the possibility of a new way of life, at both the individual level and at the social level, we condone a spiritual death that eventually consumes the entire soul of humanity.

What I am attempting to do with my writing is to encourage you to think for yourself and question standard cultural assumptions.  For example, question to yourself, what is "progress" at the social level?  Is progress all about how we create greater sums of profit?  But hasn't profiteering off the destruction of our ecosystems had devastating global consequences?  The dominant cultural ethic suggests to us that our advancements in technology, medicine, and production out weight the consequences of their proliferation.  Yet, a race that is not mature enough to use advanced technology destroys itself.  A race that does not allow its greatest medical achievements to reach everyone, because it is a for-profit industry, leaves millions bankrupt and or dead prematurely.  We need to look at this reality if we are to grow as individuals.

What ever happened to the idea that progress is the creation of a communal ethic that creates harmony out of the empathy we feel for each other?

Real individual growth is all about being aware to the fact that our lives are inseparable and thus creating a society that allows for harmony between our inner and outer realities.  Without questioning ourselves and without questioning society we fail to grow.  The two are not separate.  Let me give you a quick example.  Anthropologists that have spent intimate time with some of the few nomadic tribes left on the planet have found that these people never harm each other.  There is no rape, no robbery, and no murder.  The reason why is that the tribe instinctively knows it is one organism.  Everyone depends on each other for their individual survival.

Given the state of our world as it is now we can no longer afford to be afraid to look at the hard truth.

It is becoming overwhelming apparent that our society is in the midst of big challenges.  Here in a America we have staggering inequality, a real unemployment rate over 16% [source], and the future of our current economic infrastructure is in imminent danger of collapsing.  The corporate elite who cajoled the public, without a voice, into bailing out their institutions with taxpayer subsidies created a situation that devastated the middle and lower classes.  The elite who control political and economic affairs knows the system is broken.  They are using all tactics possible to accumulate the lasts bits of wealth and dismantle public power as they go out to create their untouchable gated oasis.  We live in a totalitarian regime with a faceless dictator.  Unregulated markets make monsters out of men, but yet the real problem is our apathy that condones this way of life.

Chris Hedges wrote that "cultures that do not recognize that human life and the natural world have a sacred dimension, an intrinsic value beyond monetary value, cannibalize themselves until they die."  In the same way that we must seek personal insights to overcome our unique personal challenges so to do we also need to seek social insight into the way we live.  Again, as we fail to see that the collective social problem is our personal problem we are creating a future that is not in the favor of the majority of people.  The excess and narcissistic indulgence that we enjoy now comes at a major cost when we will no longer be able to afford the security we need to survive in the future as the integrity of our planet degrades.

Spiritual and emotional work is not just personal.  It is primarily social.  Imagine asking Martin Luther King or Ghandi what was important to them.  It was not their individual gains that led to personal well being, but rather it was the joy and sense of accomplishment they received from their involvement in pushing society towards justice for all.  When we continue to allow those in power to keep "business as usual" without protesting for what is "right" justice and equality continue to decay.  To see the truth can be a scary thing.  But without knowledge and insight we will not grow, but rather, we will cannibalize ourselves into spiritual death.

St. Augustine stated that the rebel knows that hope has two beautiful daughters, anger and courage - anger at the way things are and the courage to see they do not remain as they are.  We are at a point now that individual growth is short sighted if it does not account for the well-being of others and a healthy functioning planet.  Do not expect any government to fix these problems.  These problems are not exterior to any of us.  They are within us.  And only with radical courage to see things as they are and a determined collective of voices to make change can we grow as both individuals and as a collective society.  We are undoubtedly one.  And the challenges we face as individuals, in a profound way, arise because we have lost sight of establishing a society that puts the gains of the community first as opposed to the gains of the individual.

How Celebrity Culture is Destroying Who We Are

 We no longer seek community as the most important, but rather that we, the self-proclaimed celebrity, as the most important.

We live in a world that celebrates image over substance and because of this we have lost sight of who we are.  We are bombarded daily with images that celebrate vanity, debauchery, and acts of senselessness.  Through the corporate mass media we are subliminally told what to think, how to interpret the way society operates, what is "right," what is "cool," and how to keep from looking old and unhip.

Since when did Kim Kardashian, the cast of the Jersey Shore, and the endless scandals we hear in the tabloids become more important than seeking truth and meaning?  Why do these headlines garner more attention than the unrelenting destruction of the Earth by the fossil fuel industry, the brutality of war all over this planet, and the overwhelming poverty found everywhere [even in America]?

Why did it become socially taboo to question events such as 9/11, the presence of american troops in the middle east, the possibility that the pillars of our society may be run by a corporate elite, or that our way of life may actually be destroying the vitality of the planet we depend on.  I think it is because celebrity culture has us being afraid to step out and take a stand.  Maybe celebrity culture has us so addicted to their "images" that things of meaning and substance become boring?

I think it is that we care so much what the "other person" may think about us that we seek to adopt a way of being, prescribed by celebrity and mass media, that makes it easy for us to "fit in."  It is the easiest way.  No longer do we need to think about our existence and how we should be.  We have sought image over substance.  And because of this we have lost touch with ourselves.  No longer do I care about how I will be received in this blog or in person.  I actually think it will bring me closer to my true identity.

Modern culture rationalizes existence through the piece meal filter it is feed by major media.  Do you really think that we ever hear the full story?  The full story of any story is never black or white.  It is complex, dynamic, and involves an array of motives and emotions that cannot be summed up by one catchy headline.  If you want to know the full story shut off the television and go outside.  Gather information.  Talk to your neighbors.  Talk with a homeless person and seek to understand their story.  Seek to understand the motives of the elite and politicians.  Yet also don't forget to nurture yourself for a while and listen to the birds, listen to children laughing, and to the wind as it rustles past your ears.  You can learn more from within yourself than you can from any other source.

"The Fantasy of celebrity culture is not designed simply to entertain.  It is designed to drain us emotionally, confuse us about our identity, make us blame ourselves for our predicament, condition us to chase illusions of fame and happiness, and keep us from fighting back." - Chris Hedges

A Personal Quest: Transforming into a Counselor

Although I did not realize it then, working with people in this intimate way was going to become my life passion.  During my undergraduate years away at school I often found myself in a informal counseling role with those whom I interacted with.  Whether it was on the great lawn at school, in someone's apartment, or at some local venue, there I was, the guy talking to someone seriously, not about my life, but about theirs.  This was something I naturally enjoyed.  Being able to understand someone without having prior history about them felt surreal to me.  Offering insight to them, a perspective into their own world, felt as if I were giving them back to themselves.  This evoked a feeling in me that made me feel alive.

I would come to realize down the road that these important interactions would fundamentally shape the way I approached healing and therapy.  These experiences, among many others, is what led me to apply to graduate school.

During my graduate work I was blessed with the opportunity to work with "at-risk" youth as their counselor.  I was the intern therapist for a 1,000 hour internship.  I was a nervous wreck from the start.  From day one I was challenged by stories I did not come across on a typical day.  Many of these people have had an assortment of challenges by the age of 18 that many people never experience in their lifetime.  As doubt often makes its way into all of our lives during our greatest personal challenges I found myself questioning my ability to offer guidance and relate.  Yet here I was, trying to help them.

During this experience I profoundly realized two things.  Firstly, that all people hold within them a will to evolve and move past their troubles no matter where they come from or what they experience.  And secondly, I was still good at listening, offering insight, and helping people no matter their life experience.  It did not matter that I was working with people from inner city gangs although I was some "white guy" from a predominantly white suburb.  Both my clients and I realized that people are people no matter what and that life challenges and changes were aspects of life that united everyone.  During and after this internship I was convinced that working with people one on one was the career for me.

Yet, to my disappointment, I found that most work done in the field of psychology was very institutionalized and that the conduct of therapy was severely influenced by the demands of insurance and pharmaceutical companies.  I am not hear to declare that main stream psychology has not helped people.  It has.  But I feel that it has also left many people either more damaged then when they started or left them yearning for something more.  I feel that a lot of the time the institution of psychology and psychopharmacology has left many people dependent upon medications that, for the most part, suppress their emotional experience.

I understand the counter to this argument.  That psychotropic medication helps people get back into the work force so that they can support themselves.  Yet, I am talking about the overwhelming majority of cases where psychiatrists are incentivized to medically treat people with a cocktail of pills as a first line of treatment as opposed to helping people understand themselves so that they can help heal themselves and live a meaningful life.   To me, mental illness is a individual problem that has its roots in a social dilemma.  I see it that people do not need short term solutions, but they need encouragement, confidence, and mental strength to transform themselves so that they can influence the world around them in a positive way. *I would like to add that I know a handful of therapists who have helped people tremendously [and they typically feel the same way I do on this topic].

I admit I have a bias because I have had personal life experiences that support my view.  During a very hard time in my life, around the age of 18, I sought help from a psychiatrist.  I was dealing with the tragic death of four of my best friends as well as a family divorce.  I felt lost and was unsure of what to do.  So without much direction I entered the office of a psychiatrist.  I sat with this seemingly detached and uninterested man for 90 minuets telling him my life story.  When I left I handed him a check for $300 in exchange for a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder and depression, as well as a script for an SSRI [anti-anxiety/depression medication].

For the year that I was on this medication I became increasingly numb to life.  I distinctly remember the feeling of not even being able to feel my emotions.  I knew that I felt sad in my mind, but I could not feel it in my body.  Furthermore, I had a girlfriend I loved at the time, but I could not even feel this love in my body [I started the medication halfway through our relationship].  Yet, as my freshman year at college preceded I began to feel that I knew I was responsible for my own well-being and that if I were to seek help it was going to be from people who really wanted to help me help myself.  [I will disclose more about my own personal transformation in another post].  So I digress.

To me, the field of psychology was feeling more and more impersonal and less and less about empathic exchange.  During my graduate years I developed the notion that the institution felt to be more about keeping "patients" compliant with the norms prescribed by the institution which seemingly held a distinct boundary, often times patronizing, between the "patient" and the therapist.

I will not say that graduate school did not offer me anything, to the contrary it taught me so much about the therapeutic exchange and about the importance of proper delivery.  Graduate school taught me, to a great degree, about the unconscious and conscious processes of the human mind.  Importantly, it was a time of great introspection and self growth as many of my courses had an experiential undertone.  Nonetheless, I gained the sense that unless I had my own private practice that was uninfluenced by the insurance and pharmaceutical matrix I would not be offering the most I could to the world and to the people which whom I work with.  Because of personal experience as well as moral principle I sought my own path.

Now nearing my 3rd decade on this blue green planet I feel that my convictions and determination have led me into the right career.  As a coach and counselor I feel that I can help people learn how to help themselves.  I like to call this "giving people back to themselves."  I call it this because people, often times when in need of healing, are led to believe that the remedy lies outside of themselves.  Yet, what I teach people is how to get back in touch with the guide they have from within.  It is a form of preventative mental health.  It is similar to preventative health in regards to physical health.  For example, if we can learn how to take care of our bodies from the start we decrease our reliance on the medical institution and outside authority.  In this regard we take control of our own physical health as opposed to waiting for a problem to happen and then to seek help.  I help my clients do the same thing in regards to their own mental health.  Through our work together I teach you how to become your own coach and counselor [as this is something I have done for myself].

This is only part of the story of course.  I can go on for days, as too why and how I have transformed into a life coach, but that will be exhausting for the both of us.  Just like you, it has been life's challenges that have helped me evolve and become the person I am today.  If you are seeking greater clarity into your own life and path then I am here for you.  If you seeking help to understand and move past some of the most troubling aspects of your life then I am here for you.  It would be my honor and great pleasure to assists you in your own personal development.