Cleaning out and preparing for a big move can be an emotional experience. The objects that I feel connected to contain the story of my past. And in 18 days I take only a very small sliver of my past with me. Too much baggage will make the path more labored and tiresome. It is time to accept the fact that I must create a new life for myself in a place I felt connected to since I first visited.
As sad as it has been for me to go through all the old material I know that whatever is going to come out of this move is necessary. Come May 20th, the morning after my brother and his fiancé’s engagement party, I say goodbye …yet the fire of excitement that has been growing within me gives me the courage to keep the faith and get on with it.
As of last week I resigned from my job, tuned up my car, and made my reservations. A man I had yet to meet has cashed my check and sent me the keys to his apartment, my 2-month sublet, in Berkeley California. I can’t wait to drive this great country again! I guess the third time is truly a charm.
I do get nervous at times when my fear triumphs my faith, but I must say there is something about all this uncertainty that makes me feel liberated. Yet before I do get to ahead of myself I feel it is important for me to honor the past so that I know in my heart where I am coming from and and what I am leaving behind.
Looking back through all the photographs, reading all the journal entries, and taking heartfelt note of all of those amazing people who have come into my life makes me realize that life is extremely precious and that I have been blessed. The love I have taken part in, with all of my family, friends, and lovers, has helped me come to love and understand the hardest person there is to know, myself. So to all of those whom I may be leaving behind, you will always be with me.
Journeying forward now into the next chapter of my life!