To Change Your Life You Need to Face Your Reality; A Story For Us All

Sometimes we simply just don’t want to deal with the things that have us feeling out of balance.  Yet, there comes a point where our mental unease brings about a life that is no longer enjoyable, and believe me, I know what that feels like.  But could it be that the emotions we hide from contain a message we need to hear?  At a time not so long ago this spoke very true to me.

For me, this unease came to a threshold when I quit my job on October 7^th of last year [Ironically on my birthday].  For months I was battling in my mind with what I thought was right and what I felt was right in my heart.  For nearly a two-year period I was working for my father at his successful textile company.  Everything was set up for me and all I had to do was learn to love it.  I was paid well, the atmosphere was laid back, and eventually I was to become the owner.  But the whole time I felt unsatisfied.  I kept saying to myself, the money is great, I love the people I work with, and I was working in the heart of New York City, how could I not love what I was doing?  I had it made, but there was one thing missing…passion.

On a daily basis I interacted with fun and creative people to whom I sold some of the world’s most beautiful fabric.  Yet, on the inside I was miserable.  Interestingly enough, the house of cards fell for me during the height of the Occupy Wall Street movement.  On typical workdays last summer I would take the subway downtown after work to rally and march in support of making known the injustices of society.  In a way it seemed hypercritical, but I was doing what felt right.  The Occupy movement connected me with a passion that had lay dormant within me for years.  Subsequently, this passion had awoken me to what I was really feeling about my career.  And so it was, on a mild fall evening in October, I quit the family business.

That evening as I was packing my stuff and saying goodbye my friend Juliette called me.  “Are you going to meet me tonight at the meditation circle down at occupy tonight?” she asked.  We met that evening and she sensed my unease.  Like a good friend, she stood still with me, calmed my nerves, and assured me that I did the right thing because I followed my heart.  As we walked into the occupy camp that night I saw a “sign” that I will never forget.  In a pile of cardboard signs, depicting peoples art, quotes of empowerment, and signals of social and economic injustice, I saw one that literally stood out.  It was on a stick that stood out higher than all the others and all it simply said was “coaching.”  I gave out a lighthearted laugh and in that instant I knew I was destined to become a life coach. 

Prior to this experience I had finished all the life coach training courses I needed to, but because of my busy work schedule I did not have the time to set aside to create and build my business.  But here it was, my “sign” on a sign! It told me exactly what I needed to move towards.  It was incredible to say the least.  Furthermore, a few weeks prior to that I had an experience at Occupy that supported this life changing decision.  You can read more about it here [Divine Synchronicity].  Regardless of the clarity that set upon me that evening, this change had been a long time coming.  I had become complacent with my reality and these feelings of misery became normal. 

I don’t think I am the only one who knows what that is like.  Even if we do not want to admit it, feelings of miserable complacency may happen to all of us at some point or another.  It may occur during a relationship, or like me, in the midst of a career.  At this point it usually takes a life experience or a pivotal point in ones relationship with another that makes you feel what it is that you are unaware of inside so that you make a change.  For me, it was the experience of Occupy, the love of good friends, and a latent desire for a new life.

I admit getting in touch with the whole gauntlet of human emotions is not always easy.  On the surface, it may feel as if nothing is wrong, but brewing in the realms of our unconsciousness is a state of emotional unease.  Think of the times when you have had to have another person point out to you how sad or angry you were before you actually became aware of what you were feeling. 

Again, it usually takes a humbling realization or a crucial life experience to “tip your scales” and awaken you into a state of self-realization; whereas we allow ourselves to feel what it is that we are feeling.  In the dawn of this often painful and humbling realization you are given the choice.  At this point you can either take ownership for your feelings and create the change you need or you can continue to disregard your unease and make excuses for yourself.  You may justify your unease and misery by saying things to yourself like “the world is just not fair” or, “it is just normal not to love what you do.” 

Believe me, I only come to write this material because I know what it is to come to the realization of my own unconscious self-ignorance.  It was a very humbling process to realize how complacent I was with feeling miserable and having a career I did not feel passionate about.

No one is perfect and no one is immune to the emotional ebbs and flows of life.  But each time emotional unease brews within you it creates the platform for our own evolution.  Without our ignorance there would be nothing to evolve into.  Our ignorance gives us the ability to know deeper aspects of ourselves.  So with that being said, forgive yourself!  You can move towards passion instead of feeling triumphed by fear.  It is Ok to be afraid, but it is up to you to conquer this fear.

Any misery or emotional unease you may feel is your inner guide trying to communicate something to you.  Of course this is not the only way in which your inner guide communicates with you, but it is a necessary one.

All of this is part of the journey, but what at speed do you want your life to unfold the way you want it to? Remember the statements we heard as children, such as “dream big,” or “make your dreams a reality?”  Well, what is your life for, but if not to make manifest your desires?  Is your life for someone else or is it for you? 

Acting out of self love as opposed to heeding your fears speeds up your evolutionary process.  Creating the life situation you really desire is all about having the courage to defy your fears and having faith that your self-love will propel you into the experiences that will bring this desired change.  Step by step life will test these convictions, but your courageous actions in each successive moment change everything.

It is important to realize that your goals are never ending.  There is never an endpoint that is going to liberate you.  There is only following in this moment what your heart is telling you.  What is really going to liberate you is being grateful for what the journey has presented you with. 

We do not always have control over everything in our lives, but we certainly do have control as to how we interact with what occurs.  We will always be in a cycle of ignorance and awareness; we will always be within the movement between unconsciousness and consciousness.  But see that this cycle is not circular movement, it is a spiral one…and the more intent you put into consciously creating the life you want the more quickly you will evolve up that spiral.  That is the journey.  You may take a step back, but you will take two steps forward…remember, taking that step back was necessary.  There is perfection in in-perfection!

So I ask you, are you grateful for this moment?  This is the moment that presents you with the ability to make manifest what it is that you desire for yourself.  Being grateful shifts your energy and inevitably shifts your life.  All interactions with people, places, and things, present the opportunity to step into a state of awareness that grants you control over your internal disposition.  What it is that you feel on the inside declares to the world who and what you are.  And who you are declares what you will become…

You have control despite whatever it is you may think or feel now.  Find your control in the faith and knowing that your life will advance if you seek what is natural for yourself.  You can find what is natural for you though only in the depths of your heart.  So seek your truth and so shall you be free from your misery…

For me it was not natural to be doing what I was doing for those two years.  And I know now it takes being what you’re not to find out who you are.  I am grateful for that experience in retrospect.  It allowed me to tap into a sense of courage that I used to only idealize.  In the culmination of those two years I was granted with the greatest birthday gift I ever gave myself...self-honesty...

You Are The World

Do you ever feel as if you want to be a part of something bigger than yourself?  Thing is, you are already are, we all are.  We all are because we a part of life and the movement of creation.  Bob Marley made this clear in his song exodus when he stated, “So were going to walk, all right, through the roads of creation!”  And yes, we are the generation that will “trod through great tribulation.”  No matter how intense things may get and no matter how big the yearning grows inside of you to contribute to “changing the world,” we cannot forget that the world is not something outside of us…it is within us.  This then hints to the process as to how the world actually changes…do you see where I am going with this?  I will give you a hint, look within!

I admit, sometimes I forget how profound this realization really is.  Getting caught up in my daily responsibilities or in focusing my attention on “how messed up things are” only draws my attention away from this experiential realization.  Yet, when I set aside my restless mind through focused awareness on the now I bring myself into a state of cognitive liberation.  It seems to me that only in this state of cognitive liberation can I deeply feel a sense of peaceful community and powerful unity with my surroundings.  When we feel this together we start changing the world through our everyday interactions because on the inside we are profoundly aware of what is and not just what we are thinking about.  This is what the great global awakening is all about.  It is the empathic movement.  As we “trod through the great tribulation” we walk in unity.

What has thwarted unity for centuries now is the mind and its dogma.  Our minds, our belief structures, and our repetitive modes of perceiving life have hindered us from feeling the interconnectivity of all things.  It is important than to not let the mind use you through its engrained and repetitive ways.  Why not use the mind in tandem with a deep penetrating silence.  Internal silence opens up your experiential awareness to witness the all encompassing what is.  At this point of awakening the mind will absorb new awareness as opposed to recycling thoughts…your life will take on new meaning because your receptivity will enhance your awakening.  This is how the internal guide evolves.

Granted it has been our differences that have led to segregation, brutality, and war, but regardless of how diverse we all are we are nonetheless linked by something that transcends our diversity.  It is something at the core of who we are as individuals and it is something we all share in common as a collective.

When we realize we are humanity we come to realize how equal we are to everyone and everything.  Our superficial differences are shattered through this perceptual awakening.  As liberating as this concept can be it can also be very humbling.  It would be humbling to admit to yourself that you are equal to the beggar on the street, the lunatic in the asylum, or the thief who robs the innocent.  How about the person with severe mental retardation, severe schizophrenia, or the billionaire standing on top of his or her empire?  What is it that actually makes us believe we are to be separated, categorized, and ranked amongst each other?  It seems that we often separate ourselves based on the measures of our I.Q., our bank accounts, our jobs, our belief systems, and the part of world we come from.  But do these differences really separate us?  They may make us different, but do they separate us?  All these labels, categories, and ways of being are nothing but mind creations that perpetuate themselves through unconscious adherence to stagnant social norms.

Granted, there are people doing terrible things, but they are not doing terrible things out of their own isolated agendas.  People do horrible things because they have been conditioned to see the world the way they do. The thief acts through the compulsions in his or her mind.  People who commit evil acts typically have had countless interactions with others who have traumatized their sense of self worth and or have conditioned them to see that power over another is the only way to gain control. These people unconsciously relive what has been done to them, in the same way a child who was abused abuses their child.  Yet, the only way to reverse this evil is through forgiveness.  Forgiveness of another unconscious act is the only way to show them that they no longer need to hide behind their superficial sense of power.  Forgiveness and acceptance create the foundation of human evolution.

I know this all sounds overly optimistic, but we must look deeply into all of this, the good and the bad.  The world is not a cruel place for no reason...There is evil in this world only because there is fear and fear is nothing but a mind creation.  I do not want us to get this mixed up with caution.  The body instinctively protects itself through caution.  But what I am talking about is how we generate fears inside of us based on pre-conceived ideas about people that are different than us.  We fear these differences.  We fear the unknown qualities of another.  Yet all this consumption in another’s differences distracts us from seeing the inherently unity that we all share.  So I ask us all to ponder, would fear diminish if we realized that we are all apart of the same "human organism?”  Would the world then change if we, as a collective, acted in a way that protected the human organism’s integrity to the best of our ability?

I know I am posting my own beliefs here in this entry but I do feel that there is nothing out there, no life status, no test, or any self-story that would justify someone as "better" than someone else.  I come to this belief because I realize that everything is tied together and that the only boundaries between you and I are physical.  But why should a physical boundary denote separation.  Physically speaking we are not so physical.  Quantum physics has empirically proven that we are mostly empty space.  The illusion of physicality is simply that, an illusion.  Everything is energetically tied together.  This is how we feel empathy not only for each other, but also for the world, and creation it self.  Yet the basis of the post is not about quantum mechanics, so I digress [I will post an article about that soon].

The shape of the world is the way it is because of all of our collective actions.  This will always be the case.  Yes, I realize that some people are more intent on "changing the world for the better," and I grateful for them, but at the end of the day this pursuit can only satisfy their own life mission.  Remember, the world is within you.  There is no level of comparison.  No one human is better than another, no matter what they do with their life.  Human potential is unlimited and it can only be awoken through individual pursuits.  Every person is an individual expression of creation itself.

Ironically it is our diversity that unites us.  Our answers to a peaceful tomorrow are found in our diversity.  Each person has an answer, but only when we combine our answers together do we solve the human dilemma.  If we would stop seeing our differences as things that differentiated us, and began to see them as aspects of creation that bring us closer to a solution we would move closer to peace.  I am not talking about the differences we hold in our minds, those are just abstractions.  I am talking about our differences in the ways in which we express our creativity.  When we funnel our creative actions together we will project humanity into a new dawn.  So that is how you can contribute to world peace.  Simply be you.  Express who you are without fear of condemnation.  Those who condemn you exist, to their own dismay, within the isolation of their own ego.  Your reward in stepping outside the limitations of cultural separatism is love.  And it is this love that will not only change the world, it will change you…because you are the world…

A Personal Quest: Transforming into a Counselor

Although I did not realize it then, working with people in this intimate way was going to become my life passion.  During my undergraduate years away at school I often found myself in a informal counseling role with those whom I interacted with.  Whether it was on the great lawn at school, in someone's apartment, or at some local venue, there I was, the guy talking to someone seriously, not about my life, but about theirs.  This was something I naturally enjoyed.  Being able to understand someone without having prior history about them felt surreal to me.  Offering insight to them, a perspective into their own world, felt as if I were giving them back to themselves.  This evoked a feeling in me that made me feel alive.

I would come to realize down the road that these important interactions would fundamentally shape the way I approached healing and therapy.  These experiences, among many others, is what led me to apply to graduate school.

During my graduate work I was blessed with the opportunity to work with "at-risk" youth as their counselor.  I was the intern therapist for a 1,000 hour internship.  I was a nervous wreck from the start.  From day one I was challenged by stories I did not come across on a typical day.  Many of these people have had an assortment of challenges by the age of 18 that many people never experience in their lifetime.  As doubt often makes its way into all of our lives during our greatest personal challenges I found myself questioning my ability to offer guidance and relate.  Yet here I was, trying to help them.

During this experience I profoundly realized two things.  Firstly, that all people hold within them a will to evolve and move past their troubles no matter where they come from or what they experience.  And secondly, I was still good at listening, offering insight, and helping people no matter their life experience.  It did not matter that I was working with people from inner city gangs although I was some "white guy" from a predominantly white suburb.  Both my clients and I realized that people are people no matter what and that life challenges and changes were aspects of life that united everyone.  During and after this internship I was convinced that working with people one on one was the career for me.

Yet, to my disappointment, I found that most work done in the field of psychology was very institutionalized and that the conduct of therapy was severely influenced by the demands of insurance and pharmaceutical companies.  I am not hear to declare that main stream psychology has not helped people.  It has.  But I feel that it has also left many people either more damaged then when they started or left them yearning for something more.  I feel that a lot of the time the institution of psychology and psychopharmacology has left many people dependent upon medications that, for the most part, suppress their emotional experience.

I understand the counter to this argument.  That psychotropic medication helps people get back into the work force so that they can support themselves.  Yet, I am talking about the overwhelming majority of cases where psychiatrists are incentivized to medically treat people with a cocktail of pills as a first line of treatment as opposed to helping people understand themselves so that they can help heal themselves and live a meaningful life.   To me, mental illness is a individual problem that has its roots in a social dilemma.  I see it that people do not need short term solutions, but they need encouragement, confidence, and mental strength to transform themselves so that they can influence the world around them in a positive way. *I would like to add that I know a handful of therapists who have helped people tremendously [and they typically feel the same way I do on this topic].

I admit I have a bias because I have had personal life experiences that support my view.  During a very hard time in my life, around the age of 18, I sought help from a psychiatrist.  I was dealing with the tragic death of four of my best friends as well as a family divorce.  I felt lost and was unsure of what to do.  So without much direction I entered the office of a psychiatrist.  I sat with this seemingly detached and uninterested man for 90 minuets telling him my life story.  When I left I handed him a check for $300 in exchange for a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder and depression, as well as a script for an SSRI [anti-anxiety/depression medication].

For the year that I was on this medication I became increasingly numb to life.  I distinctly remember the feeling of not even being able to feel my emotions.  I knew that I felt sad in my mind, but I could not feel it in my body.  Furthermore, I had a girlfriend I loved at the time, but I could not even feel this love in my body [I started the medication halfway through our relationship].  Yet, as my freshman year at college preceded I began to feel that I knew I was responsible for my own well-being and that if I were to seek help it was going to be from people who really wanted to help me help myself.  [I will disclose more about my own personal transformation in another post].  So I digress.

To me, the field of psychology was feeling more and more impersonal and less and less about empathic exchange.  During my graduate years I developed the notion that the institution felt to be more about keeping "patients" compliant with the norms prescribed by the institution which seemingly held a distinct boundary, often times patronizing, between the "patient" and the therapist.

I will not say that graduate school did not offer me anything, to the contrary it taught me so much about the therapeutic exchange and about the importance of proper delivery.  Graduate school taught me, to a great degree, about the unconscious and conscious processes of the human mind.  Importantly, it was a time of great introspection and self growth as many of my courses had an experiential undertone.  Nonetheless, I gained the sense that unless I had my own private practice that was uninfluenced by the insurance and pharmaceutical matrix I would not be offering the most I could to the world and to the people which whom I work with.  Because of personal experience as well as moral principle I sought my own path.

Now nearing my 3rd decade on this blue green planet I feel that my convictions and determination have led me into the right career.  As a coach and counselor I feel that I can help people learn how to help themselves.  I like to call this "giving people back to themselves."  I call it this because people, often times when in need of healing, are led to believe that the remedy lies outside of themselves.  Yet, what I teach people is how to get back in touch with the guide they have from within.  It is a form of preventative mental health.  It is similar to preventative health in regards to physical health.  For example, if we can learn how to take care of our bodies from the start we decrease our reliance on the medical institution and outside authority.  In this regard we take control of our own physical health as opposed to waiting for a problem to happen and then to seek help.  I help my clients do the same thing in regards to their own mental health.  Through our work together I teach you how to become your own coach and counselor [as this is something I have done for myself].

This is only part of the story of course.  I can go on for days, as too why and how I have transformed into a life coach, but that will be exhausting for the both of us.  Just like you, it has been life's challenges that have helped me evolve and become the person I am today.  If you are seeking greater clarity into your own life and path then I am here for you.  If you seeking help to understand and move past some of the most troubling aspects of your life then I am here for you.  It would be my honor and great pleasure to assists you in your own personal development.

What is Truth?

If there were an absolute truth, something undeniably real that exerts natural law over existence, what would it be?  Would it be God?

I feel that I am left with such confusion over the matter because I know that my mind cannot fully grasp the eternal, god, or the infinite cosmos.  Yet, there is still something within me that wants to know, with certainty, what this thing we call life is all about.

Is it possible that life, in its ambiguous nature, could simply be a mystery to which we will ponder for eternity?  Could it be that the more we come to understand life we come to realize that the act of “understanding reality” only expands infinitely?

Of course, throughout our of years inhabiting this planet we have gained great knowledge and insight into the nature of life.  Mathematics, the language of the universe, has allowed us to peer deeply into the hypothetical realm of realization.  Science has enabled us to look deeper into the roots of our existence.  Science has also allowed us to develop great technologies that aid civilization.  We have discovered a lot about the world around us and the world within us through these mediums.  Yet, it seems that there is still something so fundamental to life that eludes us…

It is very sad to acknowledge the fact that wars have been fought over one group’s declaration of their truth over another group’s truth of what "God" is.  Relationships have been squandered, progress has been deterred, and unity has been thwarted all because different segments of our society hold their “truth” as superior to another’s.  I am not here to have a debate about religion, but I am here to observe that maybe God after all is not something to be statically defined but rather that the understanding of God eludes linguistic definition.  Maybe the truth is that there is only an experiential understand of God – meaning that we can only perceive this beacon of creation through our sensations.  I am trying to imply that we cannot fully understand God with the mind, but rather we can better understand creation [God] through our feelings.

Imagine the social implications if the masses stopped to find truth and clarity in words and concepts and started to seek truth through pure perception and feeling? 

We would be very egotistical to think that cognitive understanding is the peak of universal consciousness.  Could there not be an entity that perceives and experiences life with a greater aptitude to “understand” what life is really all about?  Maybe that entity is in some other part of the cosmos, in some other civilization across the sphere of the infinite universe, or maybe that entity is within us, waiting to be realized and realized again as human consciousness evolves into higher plains of perceptual understanding.

If it were true that human beings can evolve, consciously speaking, it would hint to the possibility that there is no end to realization, no end to the expansion of perceptual consciousness.  If this is true than what are we here for?  We are now trekking into the unknown, the aspect of reality beyond our grasp, but maybe it is possible that within the realm of the unknown lies are potential?  The realm of experience beyond the mind...

Maybe the truth is that there is no truth but the truth we call our own.  Would I be so brash to say that God is an individually sacred concept and that each individual's declaration of what God is is true? Could the experience of God be a subjective one?  Could absolute truth be subjective?

Our declarations of truth influence the way we co-create life.  Maybe thats what is so fundamental to life.  Maybe that is what connects all of life together. It seem that every unit of consciousness exerts a degree of control as to the way life unfolds.  Therefore, if the human experience occurs within the realm of creation itself and that we are co-creating our lives and thus influencing the outcome...are we not then God's - aspects of God existing within the infinite sphere of creation [of God]?

So in my realization of the greatness that is life I find a feeling, a subtle feeling, a feeling not bound by the limitations of words, that empowers me.

Without the mental concepts as too what "God" is or what "absolute truth is" I now realize I know less than I thought I knew.  But in that realization I am awoken to the perception of something greater than the ego centered person I have come to know.  This seems to me to be what ego transcendence is all about.

Relationships: How Intimacy Leads to Personal Growth

It seems that couples that allow their partners to safely feel intimate create a relationship that inspires personal growth.  To know if your relationship is one that allows you to safely feel intimate ask yourself if you feel safe becoming emotionally exposed.  When you attempt to no longer hide behind your defenses you allow yourself to be vulnerable.  Yet as we all know, being vulnerable does not come easy. 

Intimate relationships are good for our own personal evolution because they give us clear perspective into our behavior.  Relationships give us opportunities too see how the past, with all of its cumulative experience, has shaped how we relate to our partner today.  Thus relationships become an experience to which we can change the way in which the past may have a hold on us.  We can change the way we relate to the present by tracing the roots of the emotions that surface during times of heightened emotion.  Awareness gives us the power to evolve past old ways of being that no longer serve us.  Awareness gives us control by holding the past accountable for how we react in the now.  Forgiveness is the means that allows us to move on with the control gained through awareness.  When you realize that that you are no longer the impulse that pushes you to act or feel something you are given the power to evolve through those old engrained behaviors and feelings.

A healthy relationship is bound to make you expand on the notions you have about yourself.  It does this by forcing you to break free of your emotional isolation and share your life with another.  This is the essence of intimacy.  We become intimate because with this emotional exchange we make ourselves susceptible to showing our partners our “dark side.” We all enter relationships with emotional baggage.  Nobody is flawless.

As a side note: if you fear reveling yourself to your partner to the degree to which it makes you suppress aspects of yourself…is it a relationship you want to be in?

A healthy relationship allows you to explore your emotional baggage together. The two people in relationship do this by accepting each other how they are.  Yet, this does not mean we stubbornly stay the same, ignoring our partner’s feelings that hope we may want to better ourselves for the sake of a better relationship.  Sincere acceptance of your partner gives your loved one a safe place to observe the “not so good qualities” they may have.  Subsequently, the love you share for each other encourages the two of you to evolve out of the emotional patterns that do not suit you anymore.  This is how a healthy relationship sustains growth and personal evolution.

Yet all good relationships do hit their “roadblocks.” Without clearly communicating to each other there is bound to be incongruence, dissonance, and strife within the relationship.  Often times those relating may be too selfish to look within and take ownership for the reasons that their relationship has become challenged. Complicating the matter, those who act selfishly within the relationship may become defense upon hearing their partner’s criticism.  Furthermore, one or both of the partners may be too afraid to voice their concerns.  Those who are unwilling to voice their concerns may emotionally shut off.  Either way, the relationship is on a course that may lead to its demise.  It is important to realize though that whenever a dissonance arises within a relationship it speaks to an incongruence someone is having in his or her own personal life.

If there is a partner within the relationship that is having a hard time being aware to their partners concerns, this speaks to their inability to be emotionally present within the relationship.  To be emotionally present within a relationship goes hand in hand being emotionally present within.  The relationship is a mirror into yourself.  Yet it is always good to remember that being vulnerable and “showing up” emotionally within the context of a relationship is an act of courage.  It is this act of courage that allows you to shed conscious awareness into the unconscious aspects of self that are getting in the way of a harmonious relationship. 

When unconscious emotional and behavior patters get in the way of the harmony of the relationship it is time for the love that the two people have for each other to support the personal work that can be undertaken.  During difficult times it is important to remember what has brought you to this point.  The meaning is not lost if those who are in relationship can put their ego aside and remember the significance of their partnership and how far it has brought them.  Having this empathy for each other, despite hard times, allows the two of you to communicate again.

Nurturing relationships exemplify patience and care.  These relationships allow partners to illuminate their vulnerabilities to each other.  It allows for the two to propel each other forward by bringing these aspects of egotistical selfishness and or their own fears of being heard into their own conscious awareness.  Love and acceptance propel us then to dismantle these “not so good qualities” and grow into higher aspects of yourself.  Personal growth is achieved independently, but it is healthy and conscious communication that supports this personal growth.

In conclusion, the reward of communicating and being honest not only with your partner, but with yourself, is lasting love.  Love is the outcome when the two of you accept each other for being exactly who you are yet all the while encourage each other to evolve into the people you desire to become. 

Solar Healing & Pineal Gland Activation

Below is an article on the ancient practice of sun gazing.  It was written by Andreas Mortiz.  You can find him on facebook here.  I found this article to be fascinating.  I have begun doing this when I can and I do feel a difference in my general well-being.  *But please take caution.  I recommend you do more research on the practice if you are considering to do this.  The sun can be damaging as we all know.  *Only sungaze from sunrise to one hour after sunrise and from one hour before sunset to sunset. 

The Ancient Practice of Sun Gazing
By Andreas Mortiz

Sun energy is the source that powers the brain. Sunlight enters and leaves the human body most easily and directly through the human eye, provided it isn’t filtered out by colored lenses. The eyes are the portals through which sunlight enters the body.

Sun gazing is an ancient practice that can induce healing of body and mind.

Acting as a photo lens, the human eye is able to break down the entire spectrum of sunlight into the different color rays – a sort of ocular prism. In a camera, the various rays of light react with the chemicals of the film and encode the pictures you take accordingly. Likewise, upon entering the pineal gland in the brain, the different light rays are chemically encoded in the brain and passed on to the organs and systems in the body.

The vital organs of the body are dependent on specific colors of the light spectrum. For kidney cells to function properly, for example, they require red light. Heart cells need yellow light, and liver cells require green light. Light deficiencies in any of the organs and systems of the body can lead to disease. Regular sun gazing can help restore balance and efficiency to all cells in the body.

The pineal gland is one of the most researched glands of the body. Scientists have established that bright light stimulates the production of serotonin and melatonin in the pineal, but there are other neurochemicals produced by the pineal that have more profound and complex effects apart from regulation of moods, sleep, reproductive function and body temperature.

Scientists refer to the pineal gland as the ‘atrophied third eye’. Indeed, it, along with the pituitary, is the third eye chakra or energy center, better referred to as dormant rather than atrophied. According to Max Heindel’s Rosicrucian writings, in the distant past, man was in touch with the inner/outer worlds through an activated pineal and pituitary gland. Considered the most powerful and highest source of ethereal energy available to humans, the third eye has always been important in initiating psychic powers (clairvoyance and seeing auras etc).

To activate the ‘third eye’ and perceive higher dimensions, the pineal and the pituitary must vibrate in unison, which is achieved through meditation or sun gazing. When a correct relationship is established between the personality operating through the pituitary, and the soul operating through the pineal, a magnetic field is created. The pineal can generate its own magnetic field because it contains magnetite. This field can interact with the earth’s magnetic field. The solar wind at dawn, charging the earth’s magnetic field, stimulates the pineal gland. This is why many spiritual teachings claim that the period between 4 and 6 am is the best time to meditate and why sunrise is the best time to sun gaze. At these times, the pineal stimulates the pituitary to secrete Human Growth Hormone. That is why sun gazers often experience rapid nail and hair growth, restoration of hair color, and general rejuvenation. Cleopatra used to place a magnet on her forehead to stimulate the pituitary to restore her youth and good looks. She did not know she already had a magnet in her head.

EAT FRUITS & PLANTS TO GET STORED SUN ENERGY
Fruits and plants have the ability to trap and store sun energy. We get our energy from eating fruits and plants. When we eat fruits & green leafy vegetables, we are eating stored sun power.

The technique of sun gazing demands no more than time and attention, and is very simple. One should gaze at the sun only in the morning or evening hours, about one hour or less after sunrise or before sunset. Look at the rising or setting sun once a day. On the first day, look at the sun in a relaxed manner for a maximum of 10 seconds. On the second day, look at it for 20 seconds, adding about ten seconds every succeeding day. After ten continuous days of sun gazing you will be looking at the sun for about 100 seconds. The eyes can blink or flicker and don’t need to be steady. To receive the main benefits of sun gazing, you need to increase the duration in the above manner until you reach three months. This brings you up to the length of 15 minutes of gazing at a time.

At this stage, the sun energy of the sun’s rays passing through the human eye will be charging the hypothalamus tract – the pathway behind the retina leading to the human brain. As the brain increasingly receives extra power through this pathway, you will find a drastic reduction of mental tension and worries. With access to this additional source of energy, you are likely to develop a more positive mindset and increased self-confidence. If you suffer from anxieties and depression, you will find that these go away. Sadness and depression are known to increase with reduced or lack of exposure to sunlight. With fewer worries and fears, your brain may use the saved and additionally supplied energy for healing and improvement of mental and physical wellbeing.

One of the most frequently reported benefits of regular sun gazing is improvement of eyesight.

Life giving, golden rayed, the eternal watchful eye, called ‘the beginning’ and ‘the ultimate truth’ by wisdom,  The Sun is also the earliest acknowledged doctor of mankind. We have turned to the sun for healing since our very beginnings.

The Emotional Matrix: Don't Forget Your Ego

Without ego I seize to perceive myself.  Without empathy I cease to perceive you.

Some spiritual philosophies speak of the importance of abolishing the ego to create unity and peace.  Other philosophies believe that when we transcend the ego we become liberated.  It seems to me that there is a big difference between abolishing the ego and transcending the ego.

The fact that I even care about writing this post so that others will read it is a matter of ego.  To be human is to have ego.  Ego is the part of self that is responsible for the interpretation of reality and a sense of personal identity.  Without ego we are no longer self-reflective.  To abolish the ego is to abolish the "part of self that is responsible for the interpretation of reality." Abolishing the ego and doing away with "self" not only seems futile, it seems impossible.

To transcend means to go beyond the range or limit of.  So what does it mean to transcend the ego? 

Based on my own perceptual experience it seems that when we feel the reality "outside" of us as if it where an extension of self we experience transcendence.  What do I mean by "outside?"  I speak of any realm of life that is beyond the physical self.  This would include other people, places, and things.  When life, the all inclusive noun, becomes felt as if it where within you you are experiencing transcendence.

At this level of perception I believe that the ego is still there and very much alive.  I feel that at this level the sense of self, the ego, becomes amplified.  In this state we draw energy from the world around us.   We become alive to a greater degree. Our emotional experience is no longer isolated within the walls of our egotistical existence.  We become the world.  Consider the social consequences if we were to feel that we are not just in this world but we are this world...

Lets try not to get this mixed up with the inflated ego.  If my ego were inflated I would be putting myself above you.  I would be judging you and the world around me as inferior to me. The inflated ego is the narcissistic sense of identity that has run rampant in our conventional world.  It seems that it is the inflated ego that keeps us from becoming humbled and having empathy for the world around us.  It is much easier, energetically speaking, to be narcissistic than to be empathic.  Empathy is a psychic muscle.  Learning how to fine tune our ability to feel another and or the world around us takes work.  This is psychic development.

If you want healthier relationships with others, with yourself, and a more meaningful projection of your life, developing your sense of empathy is crucial.  Transcendence then, as I speak of it, is about being humble by allowing yourself to give up the narcissistic relationship you have with yourself.  You can do this by giving energy to others and to the world around you through deed.  The narcissistic self stays alive by absorbing other peoples energy into an isolated sense of self.  The transcendent self grows vibrant through feeling and giving love to the world around you.

Transcendence is that feeling of joy you have when you do for others. Transcendence is that feeling you get when you escape the engrained boundaries of your mind. Transcendence is that feeling you have when you ignite the fire within and live the life you feel passionate about.

You do not need to loose who you are to transcendence into a "higher" reality.  Transcending into a higher reality is a collective phenomena.  Let life unfold as it will.  Why not just do what you can?  Why not just send positive energy to the world around you?

You are a part of the world, a weave within the cosmic fabric of life itself.  When you feel this you have transcended.  And what exactly have you transcended?  Think of it as a snake shedding its skin.  As your transcend you move beyond the old you into a experiential realm where you are more alive and vibrant.  You do not need to concern your self with how to do this.  Just follow the feeling of gratitude.  So why not honor the ego within?  It is the ego, the self, that allows you to feel gratefulness, humbleness, and empathy to begin with.

Do You Want to Create The Life You Love?

You are a participant in the creation of your life.  To what degree do you want to participate?  To what degree do you want to surrender and feel the trust inherent in your heart [a feeling that connects you to creation, to source, to the universe]?

Do you trust life or are you afraid of it?

Witnessing both your relation to both love and fear is integral to understanding the way in which you relate to life.  Do your actions proceed out of love or out of fear?  Do you make choices in your life out of love or out of fear? Are you creating your life out of love or out of fear... essentially this dictates how you will experience your life....

Do you want to make that change in your life or are you a little afraid of what could happen?  Do you want to move to a new city?  Do you want to take part in a new career?  Do you want a fulfilling relationship?

Do you trust that the universe can make this happen for you?  Do you trust that yourself so that you will allow it to happen?  Or are you going to let the same old patterns and ways of life exist because you are a little timid.

This world is your canvas.  What do you want to create for yourself?

Realize...all of your creations are produced by how you project your inner experience onto the world outside of you.  If you trust life and know that it will unfold in your favor, than the universe will protect you and aid you in your evolution in a way that feels good.  Why?  Because when you trust what you are essentially doing is allowing the universe to live through you in the way it knows how to.

The universe [or the movement of creation and the fabric of life as we know it], only wants to produce experience that is divine.  That is all it knows.  Do you think that the heavens were created void of feelings?  Think of this...if there was a feeling associated with the creation of the universe what do you think that feeling would feel like?  If you were witnessing the unfolding of the most cosmic, divine, and dynamic process of creation would you not feel the most blissful sense of awe you have ever felt?

Experiential choice is the product of duality...

Only in our separation from source does duality come into existence, but through this duality we can come to realize that we are our own universes, our own beacons of creation, our own source of divinity...that is if we connect again to this movement of creation through trust.  When you trust you love.  So if you project to the universe love, what do you think it will return for you?

As Neale Donald Walsch said in the Conversation with God Trilogy, "The Universe is a zerox machine.  It will product for you exactly what you feel, think, and create."

If you project to the universe a feeling of love and lead your life through this feeling you will be brought to just the "right" experiences, to the "right" people, and into the "right" environments...

...That is if you believe you should be...Again, to what degree do you want to participate?

I put quotes around right to emphasize the point that you are always "right."  Your life is your subjective creation, but when will the experience of what is "right" for you lead you to lead a life of great awe and adventure, big love and grand experience, and a knowing in your heart that life is here to serve you [and not the other way around].  This is your choice.

When do you want that new career, that new love, that new life!  This is your choice too!


Creation happens in the experience...

Luckily for all of us, understanding this is more than intellectual.  Put down any pressure of trying to solve how to live out of love or out of fear.  Your mind cannot know life in its entirety, so let it relax...  Life is, in many ways, beyond knowing...

"So if life is beyond knowing then how do I act, how do I then create what I want?"

Why not start to feel what it is that you want.  Start with a feeling, not just a thought.  Feel what a "good" life would feel like...then follow the feeling.  You follow the feeling when you bring this feeling into your daily interactions with people, places and things.  The canvas on which you paint your life then becomes drastically influenced by this feeling.  You will then begin to manifest a reality for yourself that is more aligned with the feeling you have as to what a good life should be for yourself.  Can just feel out how you going to create, create, then later think about what you created in retrospect?


Let your thoughts serve your feelings...not the other way around...


Again, all of this serves you only to the degree to which you believe it does.  So essentially why not go within and ask yourself...

Do you want a life lead by love

or

Do you want a life dictated by fear

To not go within you go without...

To come back around to the beginning...Does the love inherent to existence protect you.  Do you trust life?  Do you feel protected?  Does life feel safe to you?

Again, this is all in how you perceive it.  You choose it....but why not choose what you want to experience...



Your life is your own self-fulfilling prophecy.  How do you want this prophecy unfold?

If you feel that the universe is here to aid you in the creation of a loving, peaceful, and abundant life...


than...

You are protected...

Even if the world may be crumbling around you, you are protected...  Why?  Because you know you are!

Find your freedom in surrender.
Find your freedom in trust.

Surrender is a knowing...a knowing that you can trust the process of life.

This "knowing" accompanies the feeling of trust...as in trusting the process of life to unfold as it will...revealing to you your true nature...as it unfolds in each successive moment of the now.

So why not lead this "unfolding of life" through love...as opposed to through the same old timidness and fear that has produced nothing but the same?..?..?

The Emotional Matrix: How Gratefulness Amplifies Your Energy

When we say we have touched someone's life or someone has touched ours it seems to imply that a change occurs in someone's emotional "body. " The change is an acquisition of another's loving and empathic feelings towards you [or you towards them].  The acquisition occurs within your emotional body.  At the most fundamental level of being human there is primal energy exchange that is soulfully nourishing.  We are a part of this exchange whether we are conscious of it or not.  This exchange is relationship.

It is plausible to say, and quantum physics has theoretically proven this,  that everything is in a constant state of energy exchange [everything is in a constant state of relationship].  The more aware we become of this energy exchange and begin to understand how this affects our lives we can use that information to our advantage.  The advantage comes about when we learn how to see how we are all tied to each other, to the earth, and beyond and with that heightened perspective we gain greater mastery over our own lives.

Why?

With this gained perspective you become more able to control the degree to which you are conscious of how this emotional energy matrix affects you and how you affect it.  We gain control by beginning to see how we shape the energy matrix that surrounds us.  This is also how we change the energy that surrounds us into a more positive and soulfully nourishing way.

*Simply, become aware, remind yourself to be grateful of those whom have touched your life, and you simply influence the emotional energy matrix that is your life.

Human feelings are a major conduit for this energy exchange.  The positive influence of another upon your life or vica vera, heightens your receptivity to love, to gratefulness, to compassion, and joy.  When your receptibility for these energies are enhanced and opened you change your life.  It is as simple as that.  Becoming grateful for those whom have touched your life gives you the ability to pass that on.  You just will.  There is nothing you need to do.  With gratefulness in your heart you will just do and feel great things.

Touch someone's life.  Do good for another.  Love another.  You will see that the love become your own.  Let that love become theirs and so on.  Let that love be there for all to share.

Fate or Free Will?

Fate or Free will?  Determinism or Infinitely expressing experience?

Is life as we experience it the unfolding of destiny in the now?

The debate between fate vs free will has been going on since the dawn of civilization.  Do we lead autonomous lives, reconstructing the future through our present day actions?  Or is it possible we lead a life determined by fate and how the heavens decide our future...a divine force that guides us?  The thing about all this is that the person who believes in fate may ask you, "well what guided your actions...was there some feeling guiding them...a feeling that drew you into particular events, experiences, and ways in which to learn?"

"So your saying I am not in control in the way my life turns out?"

Well what would you feel if I told you that both realities, the reality determined by fate and the reality created though free will, could simultaneously occur at the same time?

This question requires us to use more than just our thoughts.  It begs upon us to feel deeply, perceive deeply, understand through feeling deeply.

Here is the beautiful part...only each person can answer this moral question for themselves.  No one can experience another persons experience, fully.  Our inherent autonomy is our greatest gift.

When we cherish that in each other conflict seizes.

Think about it:  What if it is both our destiny and our free will, the will that we were destined to choose with, that got us to even be reflecting upon the answer to this question to begin with....?