Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The Man/Woman Divide and Union Through Egolessness
Women: a totally different energy. They always intrigue me. Inherently softer, yet a boldness too their softness... Amazingly graceful, yet oh so poignant. Although different, it is difficult to decipher why there is such a divide between men and women in the general sense of being. Of course there are differences, but in reality there is a lot more that connects men and women than divides us...and in that beautiful connection we are brought back together in perfect union.
In honoring our differences and accepting them as they are, not judging them and not putting one sex before the other, our affinity for each other grows stronger and wiser. It is as simple as that...yet what makes things complex, and often creates "conflict" between men and women, is that we cling to ego identifications that have been perpetuated over the thousands of years of human socialization. These ego identifications, that keep us tied in our own minds and hence compartmentalize our state of being into a static and an often unchanging essence, I believe, this has created tension, awkwardness, and a disconnect that pushes us to create boundaries between one another. This is more prominent in our major social hubs (i.e. New York City). Of course the fascination and attraction is there -- for opposites are always drawn to each other -- but what I am saying is that the personal ego identifications that develop in line with social gender expectations distort the actual picture and create a complex array of conditions thus making the inherent union between a man and a woman inaccessible.
Men, because of our social structure, harbor (however unconsciously) feelings of inner "inadequacy" in comparison to women. Because men have not fully integrated all aspects of being into there, well… being (due to the socialization process and the inherent ties to thought paradigms), there is an inherent feeling of inadequacy at the unconscious level. Because men have not accepted the feminine aspects of being and assimilated this into their own state of being men sublimate machismo and hoard power, both independently and socially, as an ego defense. This is apparent in our power driven social infrastructure, where power (born of fear and disconnect) controls.
Pinpointing the origins of all this is not as important as discovering how fear impacts our thought process and our subsequent behavior. It is this fear that drives us to create walls and ego defense mechanisms. Where, to the contrary, love connects and breaks down these boundaries.
Now, women too have created their own socially influenced egotistical ways of being. In response to our particular society of power, women have sought to acquire some of this power. And women have done so in the “conventional” ways, but also have done so by emphasizing aspects of physical desire and the power that can be derived through lust and sex. Now when I say these things - it is not black and white - and both sexes employ these tactics - it is all simply a matter of degree, yet in doing this women tend to ignore (to varying degrees) the power of their emotional proclivity. Yet in a society that values material and physicality (and why would a society that lives on the physical planet earth in the "3rd" dimension do otherwise? - for all this is part of our evolution as a collective), women see the fruitfulness of this endeavor. It affords them a sense of social connectedness (for it grants them power, and to "connect" in this society one seeks to acquire power). But we need to realize that both men and women employ egotistical ways of being that are fear based. Fear in the sense that these actions are born out of the feeling of "not having enough" - not having enough self-worth, power, "love," etc...
Only when we see that all is in perfect order and we can live without the need of thought identifications, ego defenses, and the like to protect the fragile images of self will we begin to rise up from a fear based culture to a love based culture. Thoughts and ego-identifications only create walls, boundaries, and separation between all aspects of being in a world that is inherently connected and one (and inherently in perfect order – for things only are…). Maybe then, from an experiential witnessing of this inherent interconnectedness and oneness between all aspects of existence, would we appreciate the gentleness of a man’s touch and the intuitive emotional cleverness of a woman without defense? Maybe then would a woman feel comfortable being completely vulnerable to a man in the physical sense (without having to employ ego defenses that repress aspects of being vulnerable) and maybe then will a man feel comfortable being emotionally expressive and vulnerable in dropping his own ego... Divine union takes a willingness to be open and live from the soul - untainted by the mind and ego creations. Vulnerability then is pure strength...
Posted by Christopher Renzo at 7:55 PM