Wednesday, March 23, 2011

On Romance

Every moment that love is expressed is unique. Every partnership and the love that it expresses is also unique. Romance is the passion for love. Yet romance knows no boundary. Romance is the pursuit of expressing love in its highest and most unique form that pertains to the experience in the moment you are experiencing it. What does that really mean? Well it is simple really...that the pursuit of love and romance is something that can occur in every moment of your life and it is when you share this zest for life, this romance for life with a romantic partner that the two become entranced with each other, with their moment together, and with the beauty that is their unique expression in the eternal moment of now.

Couples bring to the relationship what it is that they feel and honor from the inside. This individual essence, coupled with an others unique individual essence, builds the flame of desire and romance. But it takes the two being true to one another on the individual level to allow that real passion and desire too spring forth. A relationship is not a default experience, but rather it is a moment to moment experience. I often criticize the institution of marriage because it often times can make us unconscious to the relationship as it is NOW. This is not to say that there is anything "wrong" with marriage, just hear me out...because I often see how it pushes people into an state where they become less passionate about "their" partner. Sometimes it does push the two to grow (often it does this), but this does not have much to do the institution marriage. On the contrary it has more too do with the couples conscious intent to grow together...

The first definition of marriage in the dictionary is as follows: the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. The third definition is as follows: an intimate or close union. Now the first definition of marriage is that it is a state of being united though a contract. Yes it is consensual and it signifies a relationship, but often the "contract" builds a sense of arbitrary bond (recognized by law) that is "unbreakable." A sense of psychological security is created. There is nothing "wrong" with this...but does this security project the couples pairing into the "future" so that they may forget about really focusing on each other now? This is of course subjective and unique to the pairing.

Now, not that I do not think there is beauty in declaring to someone that they desire to be with someone for the entirety of their lives, but if this "contract" becomes a security in the sense that the couple begins to become less conscious of the moment, less aware of their relationship as it is now, because it is secure through a "contract," can it not have the possibility of taking them away from the moment of Now...from being aware and conscious of what they are building in this very moment?

There is no "goal" in any relationship...there is only the projection of one upon another, which creates a two way mirror for the pairing...can we romanticize this? Can we be in love with that fact that relationships bring us not only closer to another human being, but also to ourselves?

Regardless if a couple is married or not, it is a healthy relationship if they are conscious to stay passionately interested in one another, romanticize the feeling that they bring each other closer to understanding their own individual essence...for the third definition of marriage simply states that marriage is a intimate or close union...This states that the partnership is more of an action than an idea held together by a contract...and that is what I empathize here, is that relationship be an action, an intent to build individually through the relationship. Because where is the romance if the partnership does not push us to become more of who we are and push us to help the other become more of who they are?

Remember romance does not exist just in the realm of people partnering with each other, romance is an in-the-moment experience of having a passion for whatever it is that you experience. Poets romanticize words, artists romanticize their creations, and seekers romanticize truth. But how are we to bring forth beautiful words, beautiful works of art, or wonderful truths if we are not to make our selves vulnerable to the life that is all around us. Being vulnerable is an important aspect of romance. So what essentially does it mean to be vulnerable? It means to let go, to let the defenses down, and to let go of dogmatic thought because all filters must be done away with or minimized to the best of our conscious ability. When we do this we allow unfiltered raw perception to take hold. The emotional aspect of ourselves takes "it all in," and we are brought to a heightened experiential awareness of the life that is all around us. And if we are to be vulnerable with another, we let down our defenses so that the other can experience who we are (this is also the basis of trust). For how are we two see the other and ourselves in the two way mirror if the room is foggy with our defenses?

This is being vulnerable and it allows for a romantic life, it allows for pure life, and it allows for the highest truths that we hold for ourselves to become manifest.

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