Thursday, March 31, 2011
Yearning for Another and Still Feeling Complete
Yearning for a connection with another is only human. We can feel "incomplete" yet we can be "whole." We can yearn for the love of another and still be happy in our own lives. To desire love for another is only natural, it can actually makes us feel quite alive inside.
Energy wise we are typically either of one of the two energies...male or female. One can be a biological male and have a dominant female energy and visa vera, but for sake of this post it is the desire to couple with the opposing energy that is the basis of our yearning. For in the merger of these two energies there is a sense of heightened "completeness." Not that one completes another in the psychological sense, but one may give another the feeling of wholeness by the merging of the two energies. This is the coming together of the ying and yang of a relationship. This is an inherent quality of the duality that is expressed by the woman/man dyad and "resolved" through merger (that is if it is a healthy merger).
We can get into trouble though when we form ego identifications around this feeling of yearning. It is the ego and its identity formations that get is to think we are "lonely," "not good enough for another" and the like. Remember we are our feelings, not our thoughts. We can feel these things, but this does not mean that we are these feelings. For feelings are temporal, always changing and never permanent. You may be feeling in the moment, but you are not that feeling eternally (that is unless you choose to dwell in that feeling, eternally). Therefore to build a thought identity around it only stagnates ones experience by "freezing" oneself within that feeling; in this case the feeling of being alone (as a side note this, through this "psychological freezing" process is how conditions like depression develop). Yes, feeling that yearning in your heart may feel good in some way, because it makes you feel alive, yet if we identify with it to perpetuate that feeling we may actually come to believe that we are inherently incomplete.
From an energy standpoint, we are one aspect of the whole, but to dwell in that feeling denies ones ability to tap into the other, more grand feeling; that although they are only a part of the whole they are the whole nonetheless, for how could a part even exist if there was not a whole in which it existed?
Down to the core we all want the experience of love for another because it enables us to feel the love within ourselves to an even greater degree. Relationships are amplifiers for the disposition from within. Therefore it is part of the human experience to come to understand experimentally what "merger" is. It is also part of the human experience to understand, or come to experience, what it is to not be in merger. For how is one to know what one aspect of life is if they do not know the other. So with that being said, there is beauty in yearning, beauty in the desire for another. For the yearning can draw you closer to your hearts desire...just know and realize that you are already love, that you already have love within your heart and soul before this merger...because what you are is creation. And an energy that pushes creation to materialize is love, is it not? Is God, the source of all creation not love? Are you then, not a part, of the whole, not as aspect of creation...are you not then God?
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What I find interesting though is that many people may be in a relationship and still feel "incomplete." This is important to witness, for it means that there is a sense of incompleteness within the core of this person independent of the relationship. The relationship then becomes a means of emotional barter. We "poses" each other for the others companionship, and each others exchange of sexual experience, etc. Is this a healthy relationship?
It often seems to me that we give sex great importance in our relationships to fill this void of feeling incomplete. Sex is a physical act and it can be done without being vulnerable to another person. This psychical type of coupling can, for a brief period of time, make you feel connected, but it is fleeting. This act illuminates the repressive culture in which we live in. If we are not vulnerable with another during the act of sex it illuminates the fact that we are emotionality repressed. For sex has the ability to be an experience where we are brought to the feeling of complete connectivity at the heart level even within the psychical realm. And if the heart is not tied into this act, than it becomes nothing more than an act to fulfill the senses. It becomes an act of barter and a means to poses a partner. It can be used as a manipulation device too.
There is no vulnerability when sex is used as a means of barter or when there is no heart involved. So if one is constantly pursuing sex as the means to temporally satiate this sense of isolation it seems to me that they are not connected to the love within. Now, this is not a "bad" thing ,it is just something that is, and in a sometimes very cruel world, people have been traumatized and are unable to connect with another because there is no way to trust...but I tell you...healing does not take "time." Healing takes a trust within oneself that they again can feel that they desire to feel behind all the scare tissue...and that is to feel love.
Regardless, in most cases people do not even feel this feeling of incompleteness for they are too distracted in their own egotistical distractions and devices. But there still is a voice within...and I know sometimes it is painful to look at for life has not been "fair." Yet I know everyone has the capacity to be what they desire to be, to have what they yearn for. And I know down to the core of every one there is a core that shines like a diamond, that has the capacity to be vulnerable, and to feel at the heart felt level the existential realization of our inherent unity and love with the ALL.
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I often question if there will always be a sense of yearning in the soul of a person. I question is it the duality that is created out of the physical reality that makes us feel separated from source?.. Separated from "God?" Humbly, this questions everything I have even written, but I get the sense that the question in the first place brought me to an "answer" (however subjective). I assume duality is an aspect of the physical-ness of life, yet I know that physical-ness is an illusion. Quantum physics is coming to prove this, but what I find to be the greatest confirmation is the joy in ones heart when one witnesses how connected they are to the ALL to the everything. It is the realization, at the heart level, that ALL is one, that all is connected. For instance, today I felt so amazing being around everyone that crossed my path. On the crowded subway in New York City today, rather than being agitated, i felt joyous, I felt as if we were one human body, traveling together, living our individual lives together...what an amazing contradiction I thought to myself...that I can feel like an individual and like a member of a collective...for the two are seemingly true...
On a side note it is this feeling of connection, this experiential awakening that is happening in sync with the 2012 shift: Read the disappearance of materiality, or the meta-physics of consciousness to better understand what I am trying to convey.
All and all what I am attempting to hint upon is the multi-dimensional aspects of the human experience. A person can feel a yearning for connection with the opposite male/female energy, but a person may also feel connected to source. To simplify, connection with the ALL is a macrocosm in comparison to connection with another human being (the microcosm). Yet all experiences are connected and enable us to remember who we are experientially at greater degrees and at different levels. It is not to say one is "greater" than the other, it is just that they are different.
Yet what is important to come to be aware of is what happens in our relationships. What types of feelings do they evoke in us? Is there a continual pattern that seems to develop in relationships with different people? Could this not be an issue that stems from within?
There is a saying that I am found of...It states that to "not go within you go without"...and to be in a relationship without going within...the relationship, most often...goes without...
So what is the solution? You might want to try and sense the answer...and not think it...For all answers are creations unto themselves...and creation is first started within the soul of the eternal universe...is your heart not the transmitter of universal knowledge?
Posted by Christopher Renzo at 9:14 AM